Dustmuffins Journal

[dustmuffin]

I feel the need to start a journal to document my progress.

First a little about my background.

I grew up in a single parent home. My mother a barfly and my father a major ass hole. He cheated on my mother and my mother did the same to him. It was not a good place to be. I had an older brother that psyically abused me. My father too. Mom and dad mentally abused me.

I had an easy time attracting women as a teen. Went to boarding school in Europe and had my first serious relationship. It lasted about 3 years. She would come to us for months to visit me and I would visit her. She broke it off do to distance. It was a blessing we didn't marry. At the time I was in love but looking back she was a major *****.

I went to university and met my future wife. She was crazy but due to my dusfuntional family I thought she was normal. Married for 22 years and she filed for divorce. It was 22 years of getting beaten down. Finally I gave up and that is when she hit me with the papers. Her hypergamy told her she could do better. Um no...now she has to work. Before a housewife. She is momma june fat. Her lazy ass dosent have anyone to fund her financially and her smv is so low that all she will get is low quality broke men. Dumb ***** thought she could take the last of my power by threatening divorce. I would have been a slave mind, body and soul. I dont think she counted on me going through with it. Now she has gotten what she wanted and i dont think she is happy...

I have had two ltr since then. I ended one and the girl ended the other. The dumping sent me here. I was overly emotional, manic and depressed. I have finaly gotten my head on straight. I still need work but i am headed in the right direction.

I want to improve in all aspects of my life. The DJ way will do this. It just takes time and. Effort. I would rate my confidence at 80%, self-esteem at 60%, fitness at 70%.

The tasks I want to start:
Read the 6 week DJ bible plan
Exercise 3x a week
Socialize to bost my confidence
Work on congruency

This journal will document my progress.

 

[9asus2]

Hi,

I'd be interested in knowing what your starting place (physical situation) is.

Ie. how regularly do you go out /
what sort of results are you getting at the moment, pick up wise /
how many close friends do you have /
how big is your social circle /
do you attend any regular activities

 

[dustmuffin]

Hi,

I'd be interested in knowing what your starting place (physical situation) is.

Ie. how regularly do you go out /
what sort of results are you getting at the moment, pick up wise /
how many close friends do you have /
how big is your social circle /
do you attend any regular activities

I have no close friends. They all jumped ship when I got a divorce. I had no support. Even my parents were on her side. It took a little while of dealing with her until they realized that I was the one being wronged. I am close to my mother and step dad now. I called my mom out on her traitorous ways and like a woman made up a bull**** story. All women are the same. My biological dad is a major ******* so I don't contact him.

I am working on building up a social circle. I go to meet ups. Tomorrow I will go to a wine tasting. Thursday I will work at a food pantry and Friday I will attend a Buddhist group. I try to stay busy. Meet-ups are a great way for someone to meet other people and socialize. I also plan on getting a few dates out of them too. I am an adviser in my son's DeMolay group. I do that every Sunday. I am thinking about attending church. Some have large singles groups.

I have been exercising a little but now with my journal it's time to commit to lifting with cardio at least 3x a week. AT one time I was a competitive epee fencer and was 190 pounds of pure muscle. That is my goal. I will start fencing again too. Now I am about 215 pounds of lard...But I have lost about 30 pounds. Still more to go.

As far as dating goes I have had some success with OLD. I did one cold approach and got a date out of it. I was waiting for my date and struck up a conversation with her and closed. I have three women that I am currently dating. I was down to one but two came back.

I have kind of had it with women and their lying etc.
I have to change that mind set. I feel like I cant trust a word that comes out of their mouths. My ex wife is a pathological lier. I thought it was just her but have found out that most women lie all of the time when it suits their best interest. I have to change the way I think of them because right now they disgust me. It's the way they are I have to deal with it. They won't change. Anyway if I ever lose the women I'm dating then I will just concentrate on me. I have been trying but they keep coming back. I have made great head way in how I deal with them. Thanks to my readings on here. I think it will take about a year to finally be 100%. IT took 22 years of hell to get me this way.

What about you 9asus2?

 

[DJT92]

I have no close friends. They all jumped ship when I got a divorce. I had no support. Even my parents were on her side. It took a little while of dealing with her until they realized that I was the one being wronged. I am close to my mother and step dad now. I called my mom out on her traitorous ways and like a woman made up a bull**** story. All women are the same. My biological dad is a major ******* so I don't contact him.

I am working on building up a social circle. I go to meet ups. Tomorrow I will go to a wine tasting. Thursday I will work at a food pantry and Friday I will attend a Buddhist group. I try to stay busy. Meet-ups are a great way for someone to meet other people and socialize. I also plan on getting a few dates out of them too. I am an adviser in my son's DeMolay group. I do that every Sunday. I am thinking about attending church. Some have large singles groups.

I have been exercising a little but now with my journal it's time to commit to lifting with cardio at least 3x a week. AT one time I was a competitive epee fencer and was 190 pounds of pure muscle. That is my goal. I will start fencing again too. Now I am about 215 pounds of lard...But I have lost about 30 pounds. Still more to go.

As far as dating goes I have had some success with OLD. I did one cold approach and got a date out of it. I was waiting for my date and struck up a conversation with her and closed. I have three women that I am currently dating. I was down to one but two came back.

I have kind of had it with women and their lying etc.
I have to change that mind set. I feel like I cant trust a word that comes out of their mouths. My ex wife is a pathological lier. I thought it was just her but have found out that most women lie all of the time when it suits their best interest. I have to change the way I think of them because right now they disgust me. It's the way they are I have to deal with it. They won't change. Anyway if I ever lose the women I'm dating then I will just concentrate on me. I have been trying but they keep coming back. I have made great head way in how I deal with them. Thanks to my readings on here. I think it will take about a year to finally be 100%. IT took 22 years of hell to get me this way.

What about you 9asus2?

Man, awesome stuff!! Having already lost 30 pounds is awesome, you now have the tools and knowledge on how to lose the rest.

I also think setting a goal of a year is totally reasonable. You know you won't be 100% in a month, or 3 months for that matter. That's the most important thing in my mind, now you can the proper time you need to become the best version of yourself. Stoked for you man! I don't know how old you are (much older than me) but I am 23, and I hope at your age I have the dedication and drive that you do. Seems quite rare these days.

Keep it up man !

 

[dustmuffin]

Man, awesome stuff!! Having already lost 30 pounds is awesome, you now have the tools and knowledge on how to lose the rest.

I also think setting a goal of a year is totally reasonable. You know you won't be 100% in a month, or 3 months for that matter. That's the most important thing in my mind, now you can the proper time you need to become the best version of yourself. Stoked for you man! I don't know how old you are (much older than me) but I am 23, and I hope at your age I have the dedication and drive that you do. Seems quite rare these days.

Keep it up man !

Thanks I am 52.

 

[dustmuffin]

I exercised, read 1st day of DJ bible and chatted with girls at 7-11. I said hi to 40 people. Saying hello is easy. Thought about what is my passion. I have none. Fencing was my passion in the past. I will start it again. I also thought about issues to have an opinion about. My problem is usually I don't give a s hit one way or the other. Will try to change that..

 

[9asus2]

I have no close friends. They all jumped ship when I got a divorce. I had no support. Even my parents were on her side. It took a little while of dealing with her until they realized that I was the one being wronged. I am close to my mother and step dad now. I called my mom out on her traitorous ways and like a woman made up a bull**** story. All women are the same. My biological dad is a major ******* so I don't contact him.

I am working on building up a social circle. I go to meet ups. Tomorrow I will go to a wine tasting. Thursday I will work at a food pantry and Friday I will attend a Buddhist group. I try to stay busy. Meet-ups are a great way for someone to meet other people and socialize. I also plan on getting a few dates out of them too. I am an adviser in my son's DeMolay group. I do that every Sunday. I am thinking about attending church. Some have large singles groups.

I have been exercising a little but now with my journal it's time to commit to lifting with cardio at least 3x a week. AT one time I was a competitive epee fencer and was 190 pounds of pure muscle. That is my goal. I will start fencing again too. Now I am about 215 pounds of lard...But I have lost about 30 pounds. Still more to go.

As far as dating goes I have had some success with OLD. I did one cold approach and got a date out of it. I was waiting for my date and struck up a conversation with her and closed. I have three women that I am currently dating. I was down to one but two came back.

I have kind of had it with women and their lying etc.
I have to change that mind set. I feel like I cant trust a word that comes out of their mouths. My ex wife is a pathological lier. I thought it was just her but have found out that most women lie all of the time when it suits their best interest. I have to change the way I think of them because right now they disgust me. It's the way they are I have to deal with it. They won't change. Anyway if I ever lose the women I'm dating then I will just concentrate on me. I have been trying but they keep coming back. I have made great head way in how I deal with them. Thanks to my readings on here. I think it will take about a year to finally be 100%. IT took 22 years of hell to get me this way.

What about you 9asus2?

Wow man, I can't imagine what losing everyone is like after 22 years. Kinda puts my situation into perspective. Sounds like you're making progress though, dating 3 at a time can't be all bad! You really into any of them?


Me? I'm ~6 weeks out of a 18mo-2year LTR. Completely broken up about it inside, but working on accepting there is nothing I can do to change anything about it now.

1 good friend, and a medium sized social circle. They rarely want to "go out" though (although are up for activities), so I'm starting to work on going out alone one night a week.

 

[dustmuffin]

Wow man, I can't imagine what losing everyone is like after 22 years. Kinda puts my situation into perspective. Sounds like you're making progress though, dating 3 at a time can't be all bad! You really into any of them?


Me? I'm ~6 weeks out of a 18mo-2year LTR. Completely broken up about it inside, but working on accepting there is nothing I can do to change anything about it now.

1 good friend, and a medium sized social circle. They rarely want to "go out" though (although are up for activities), so I'm starting to work on going out alone one night a week.

No I'm not into any of them. If they all flaked I wouldn't care. I'm not big on bars. That's
why I go to the meet ups.

I was busy with my children until a few months ago. Now they are at an age where they want to be more independant. They live with their mother. They have no respect for her because she is so lazy and never takes responsibility. She will pay for her poor behavior.

I am about 4 months out of a 1 year ltr. I have learned a lot from that experience. What not to do! Plus it drove me here. I have only had 4 ltr in my lifetime. I think I am finally over her. I wasn't in love. I thought I was. I couldn't give two ****s about her until she dumped me. That was a hit to my ego. That is what I felt rejection not love. I think I have only loved one women in my lifetime.

Learning how women think has been an eye opener.

How old are you?

 

[dustmuffin]

Man, awesome stuff!! Having already lost 30 pounds is awesome, you now have the tools and knowledge on how to lose the rest.

I also think setting a goal of a year is totally reasonable. You know you won't be 100% in a month, or 3 months for that matter. That's the most important thing in my mind, now you can the proper time you need to become the best version of yourself. Stoked for you man! I don't know how old you are (much older than me) but I am 23, and I hope at your age I have the dedication and drive that you do. Seems quite rare these days.

Keep it up man !

You can do it too. It just takes time and effort. If I was exposed to this information at your age I would be better off. I was more of an alpha at your age. I was good looking, selfish and an ass hole. I had no trouble getting women.

The problem came when i got married and was beaten over 22 years into submission. If i would have had dj knowledge i think i would have done better. My ex wife is mentally ill. When we first got married she would say that she thought she had borderline personality disorder. At that time information wasnt easy to get. I just ignored her. Plus her personality dud a180 after we got married. From sweet and loving to a total b itch. She has been seeing a therapist since i have known her. At one time in our marraige she was going twice a week. She fits the bpd personality but i have no clue if she has it. All of the women I have met have had mental issues. That would be a keeper if i could find one that was sane or just had mild crazy. The last x gf had general anxiety disorder. I didnt find out until the end of the relationship. She was also married to an uber alpha that treated her like s hit. Her mother was mentally abusive to her. She had a pretty package but the gift inside was broken. She was used to being treated like crap. That is what she craves. I dont mean mild ass hole either. She wants to be totally demeaned. I wasnt a doormat but still i was to good to her. I wouldnt go back to her for anything. Funny think is that she is very intelegent. The whole family is. Two veternarians, a medical doctor and a engenering professor but the whole family is bat **** crazy. I have always dated women with advanced degrees. I have only dated one woman with a hs degree. She was the only one i truly loved and she was the best of the bunch.

Anyway that is the past. The future holds good things for me. I am the prize.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Wow man, I can't imagine what losing everyone is like after 22 years. Kinda puts my situation into perspective. Sounds like you're making progress though, dating 3 at a time can't be all bad! You really into any of them?


Me? I'm ~6 weeks out of a 18mo-2year LTR. Completely broken up about it inside, but working on accepting there is nothing I can do to change anything about it now.

1 good friend, and a medium sized social circle. They rarely want to "go out" though (although are up for activities), so I'm starting to work on going out alone one night a week.

We are in the same boat. I'm 25, and 1 month out of a 22 month relationship. Difference is I had a kid and the mother moved to Florida while I live in Georgia.

My ex keeps calling me and asking me to move to Florida and I refuse to follow a woman. My advice for you though is to just keep spinning plates. I'm talking to at least 7 women right now and it definitely makes things easier to get over my ex. Especially since my ex was no good for me and I knew this even when I was with her. I knew we weren't comparable and the only reason that I stayed was because of my son.

Dust it's pretty good that your hitting the gym. I'm sure that'll get your confidence going. You'll meet someone soon that you can vibe with. I mean you really go out more then me with all the meet ups. I'm sure you'll meet better quality people there as opposed to bars/clubs.

 

[dustmuffin]

We are in the same boat. I'm 25, and 1 month out of a 22 month relationship. Difference is I had a kid and the mother moved to Florida while I live in Georgia.

My ex keeps calling me and asking me to move to Florida and I refuse to follow a woman. My advice for you though is to just keep spinning plates. I'm talking to at least 7 women right now and it definitely makes things easier to get over my ex. Especially since my ex was no good for me and I knew this even when I was with her. I knew we weren't comparable and the only reason that I stayed was because of my son.

Dust it's pretty good that your hitting the gym. I'm sure that'll get your confidence going. You'll meet someone soon that you can vibe with. I mean you really go out more then me with all the meet ups. I'm sure you'll meet better quality people there as opposed to bars/clubs.

I hope so all of the women I meet are just meh. Even the good looking ones. I'm dating now just to get laid. I really don't care and I am working on changing that.

I am trying to hit the meet ups hard to work on my social skills. At the first of the year I want to make a dedicated schedule so I have a routine. I need more discipline. Plus I want to track my finances better with a budget and have everything in quicken. That way i can cut expenses and save more. I want to be able to pay as i go and not use credit.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Use an App called mint. It's made by intuit and tracks all spending and you can categorize everything. It's 100% absolutely free as well.

Tbh with you right now, the purpose of dating should be smashing. Nothing more. Sooner or later you'll find someone you like and you'll figure it out accordingly.

 

[9asus2]

Learning how women think has been an eye opener.

How old are you?

You're right, and once you've seen behind the curtain, you can never go back. Kinda bitter-sweet in a way. How long have you been "aware" and how do you feel about your progress since that time.

I'm 24.

 

[dustmuffin]

You're right, and once you've seen behind the curtain, you can never go back. Kinda bitter-sweet in a way. How long have you been "aware" and how do you feel about your progress since that time.

I'm 24.

I have only been aware for four months. The most important thing I have learned is don't believe what women say. Watch their actions. I think I have made good progress. I have learned about **** tests, gift giving and other things. I know what to do now and I am taking action. It seems that I was doing some things right in my marriage. But it wasn't enough. I am glad it ended. She was certainly a self entitled selfish b itch. She wanted kids and then wouldn't take care of them. She wanted to be a stay at home mom but wouldn't clean the house. She even had the nerve to ask me to hire a housekeeper. This is the topper. She asked me to talk like a woman to her. Like a good husband I tried for a short while and finally told her I was a man and I would speak to her as such. I really catered to her and it just got worse. In the end I just ignored her. I went into my office and played on the computer, watched tv and played with the kids. I have no clue what she was doing.
How about you?

 

[9asus2]

I have only been aware for four months. The most important thing I have learned is don't believe what women say. Watch their actions. I think I have made good progress. I have learned about **** tests, gift giving and other things. I know what to do now and I am taking action. It seems that I was doing some things right in my marriage. But it wasn't enough. I am glad it ended. She was certainly a self entitled selfish b itch. She wanted kids and then wouldn't take care of them. She wanted to be a stay at home mom but wouldn't clean the house. She even had the nerve to ask me to hire a housekeeper. This is the topper. She asked me to talk like a woman to her. Like a good husband I tried for a short while and finally told her I was a man and I would speak to her as such. I really catered to her and it just got worse. In the end I just ignored her. I went into my office and played on the computer, watched tv and played with the kids. I have no clue what she was doing.
How about you?

Wow, dude, I can't even imagine having to go through that much drama. I mean 'love'/happiness/sadness/etc aside, the sheer strain alone that it must have caused is crazy. Obviously I can only see what you're typing, but you seem pretty "solid" for someone who's come out the other side of that.

My progress, I feel like I know what to do, and a am a little more enlightened than 6 weeks ago when I threw myself into this. But emotionally I'm still completely stuck, so it feels like nothing is really happening this second.

Been half aware of the game for years, only just now have I started reading up on the RSD pickup side of things, which go way beyond just pick up, I believe.

Rooting for you. Hope that we both keep an eye on eachother's journals and that they both start to be filled with happy/success posts sooner rather than later

 

[dustmuffin]

Wow, dude, I can't even imagine having to go through that much drama. I mean 'love'/happiness/sadness/etc aside, the sheer strain alone that it must have caused is crazy. Obviously I can only see what you're typing, but you seem pretty "solid" for someone who's come out the other side of that.

My progress, I feel like I know what to do, and a am a little more enlightened than 6 weeks ago when I threw myself into this. But emotionally I'm still completely stuck, so it feels like nothing is really happening this second.

Been half aware of the game for years, only just now have I started reading up on the RSD pickup side of things, which go way beyond just pick up, I believe.

Rooting for you. Hope that we both keep an eye on eachother's journals and that they both start to be filled with happy/success posts sooner rather than later

I will keep up with yours for sure.I have been through a lot. But I am still on top. I feel more sane now than I have for years. My mind is clearing. I feel great!

Update on today's tasks:

Social:
Went to the meet-ups wine tasting and met probably six women. Got a number from one. We sat at the same table very good kino. The other women that I sat with had good kino. She had her foot on my leg the whole time. She seemed to like to be in charge so I made fun of her. She had a boyfriend there. He seemed to be the typical beta. As I was leaving she gave a speech how they were all just friends and pointed to the guy who I thought was her bf and he just smiled like an idiot. The poor sap has been out with her a few times and I bet he hasn't gotten any. I thought to myself...Im not your friend. I want to **** you silly. I was on way out and dint get her number. I will see her again because she organizes the meet ups. Then another woman came over and started talking to me. She was talking about her cats. I made fun of her. Cat lady was rubbing all over me. She was not my type. The one I had very good kino with is a plastics engineer. Another Works for the FAA. The whole place was filled with good quality women. They were easy to talk to and I didn't get a bunch of OLD s hit. This is the way to go. Im going to call the engineer and set up a date. I bet I knock the bottom out of it on the first date. THE WOMEN CAME UP AND TALKED TO ME! THEY INITIATED!

I feel very good. My ex is just a memory if that. I enjoyed myself. It will get better!

DJBible: Read day 2

 

[dustmuffin]

Went to my Food pantry meet up. It was fun I package cereal. There were two girls doing it with me. One about 20 and the other about 28. It was a loud warehouse with music. I got flustered becasue I couldn't hear and it went down hill from there. I tried to regain my composure to no avail. The 27 yo was very attractive. She left before I could ask for number. Rinse repeat I will get better. I seem to be able to relax with women closer to my age 40+. I will continue to work on this.

Read Day 3 DJ bible.

 

[dustmuffin]

Went to Buddhist meeting. Read DJ bible. I went to bed early because I have to get up early to drive and get my boy from school. 3 hour drive. I will leave in a bit. I will also drop ldr ex stuff on her porch. I have to drive through her city. It will be good to get rid of her nesting items. I will just dump and go. I didn't give notice either. She will find it.

I think I am finally over her. I just don't care anymore.

 

[dustmuffin]

Yep I don't care about ex. It was for the best. She can be best described as a pretty package but the gift inside is broken. Lots or red flags she did me a favor.

Picked up my boy and he critiqued my flirting. Said i got flustered. Yep i was getting tagged team by two women. Average at best. One i would like to **** has stains on her teeth that are a downer. The other is young. Anway have been antsy. Was doing well untill the end. Need to work on calmness.

 

[dustmuffin]

Still feeling a bit off. Very nervous. I don't know why. Been taking my medicine. Maybe need an adjustment.