Dumped!

[I-am-someone]

Oh man... I got dumped last night.

First time I ever got dumped, instead of being the one dumping.
I had to cry for about an hour, feeling like total sh¡t, but after that it was pretty much over. I already knew it was coming. As a matter of fact, I was almost asking for it. If I would have dumped her, I would've had to give back just about half of everything I own, but now that she's dumped me I get to keep everything. Feels kinda greedy and low, looking back at it, but I made that decision subconciously and I can't go back now. Being dumped feels so much worse than dumping - no matter how you look at it.

Why did she dump me? Basically, three things.

1. She wanted me to build a future with her, do the whole picket-fence thing. I didn't want to, I wanted to enjoy life a bit more.
2. We had grown apart, she works 5 days a week and really has an employee's mindset, whereas I'm a student and I have a student mindset.
3. I betrayed her trust when sleeping at some girls place (didn't do anything) but that was apparently the final straw.

So, I went out partying last night with a good buddy of mine, had some extreme IOI's from a girl but I figured "Not tonight, it's too early".
Maybe not what many of you would've thought, but the fact of the matter is, if I were to have tried to pick her with my current mysoginistic mindset I would've probably just gotten turned down and that would've made me feel like sh¡t.
Gotta get my mind reframed, rewired and repositioned first.


Okay, why am I posting this? I have a problem that I need some help with.

I have this extreme urge to start calling my ex-girlfriend. For some reason, I want to get back into contact. So far, I've been able to contain myself but I keep on thinking we could work things out, even though I know that working things out would mean choosing for things that I wouldn't want to choose for. This keeps on creeping back into my mind and it won't go away, no matter what I do.
I loved this girl with more than my heart. The sun came up and went under with this girl. And now she dumped me? Fvck!

So, how do I deal with this sh¡t the best way?

 

[Lust]

Oh man... I got dumped last night.

So, how do I deal with this sh¡t the best way?

Go out and Sarge your ass off.

 

[edmond]

Do not waste any more time looking back.

 

[-=Ice-T=-]

just give it time

wait two weeks before callling her, if you still want to call her then (which I doubt you will), then you can do it, but only keep it in platonic terms

 

[driveon]

The past is gone, the future is unknown, and the present is a gift. The universe is as it should be... always.

When I broke up with my ex, I felt like **** too, and i felt like contacting her but you know... writing out an email and then just deleting it works just as well and you don't portray yourself as a needy loser.

 

[Hitman10000]

Oh man... I got dumped last night.

Why did she dump me? Basically, three things.

1. She wanted me to build a future with her, do the whole picket-fence thing. I didn't want to, I wanted to enjoy life a bit more.
2. We had grown apart, she works 5 days a week and really has an employee's mindset, whereas I'm a student and I have a student mindset.
3. I betrayed her trust when sleeping at some girls place (didn't do anything) but that was apparently the final straw.

So, how do I deal with this sh¡t the best way?

I would not go back to your ex, seems like it's more drama than you should need when you'd probably be better starting off anew doing new things or meeting new people.

It's also great to date women who have similar current interests as well. If you're someone who works a lot and attends night classes like me, you'd probably do OK with a student but it's better if she had a student/employee life as well. If you plan to be a long term student while with the parents you might have to date girls that also are the same as well. It's not the fact that you're both doing similar things but the both of you know what you want in life.

 

[Hitman10000]

just give it time

wait two weeks before callling her, if you still want to call her then (which I doubt you will), then you can do it, but only keep it in platonic terms

Would you call back your former boss who fired you? Only if you needed tax or reference info. But you wouldn't want to start anything platonic with them, WOULD YOU?

 

[Taviii]

I have this extreme urge to start calling my ex-girlfriend. For some reason, I want to get back into contact. So far, I've been able to contain myself but I keep on thinking we could work things out, even though I know that working things out would mean choosing for things that I wouldn't want to choose for. This keeps on creeping back into my mind and it won't go away, no matter what I do.
I loved this girl with more than my heart. The sun came up and went under with this girl. And now she dumped me? Fvck!

So, how do I deal with this sh¡t the best way?

Delete her fücking number now! It will make you feel better.

Its hard, but you got to go through it.

I slapped a mate of mine a few days ago because he was drunk and insisted to call his ex that dumped him. Now he thanks me that I didn't let him. He deleted her number a while back, problem is he memorized it

 

[Juan_Man]

I don't think you got dumped. From what you posted, it seemed like she was afraid that you might hurt her, so she called things off before that happened. If you want to get back with her, then you are going to have to change. If you think she is making too many demands, then you are probably better off single.

 

[I-am-someone]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the posts, I read them this afternoon and they really helped me
get my sh¡t together!

I talked to her on Messenger today, and we had a good neutral
conversation. Using text instead of voice can be an advantage. It was kind
of nice - no drama, no grief, no nothing. I had doubts for a few minutes...
but then I came on here and read these posts.

Suddenly it hit me. The world isn't so bad at all. I have a good future ahead
of me. I'm in good demand with women, I'm a great student, I'm smart as hell
and I have plenty of friends out there to support me.

She's sorting out her sh¡t as well, without me, which is good.
We can stay friends, but I now have my own path set for me, and she has
hers. Sure, she's got a special little space on my heart, but there's no harm
in keeping that there.


Now, on to the next stage of learning of my life!