Drunken shame

[seymour butts]

I was hanging out at home when this girl I've been out with once (never kissed but attraction is there) texted me. She was obviously drunk texting.

So she invites me out to a bar that she is at with her friends. The place is like a two minute walk from my apartment so I agree. When I get there she is waiting outside with her two friends and she starts hanging off of me. They got kicked out. ****. One of her friends calls her boyfriend and gets a ride home and I suggest to the girl and her other friend that we go to my apartment and hang out.

When we get to my place the friend immediately passes out on my couch and the girl lays down on my bed. I make a move and we make out for a bit. She eventually passes out and I move to the couch and fall asleep.

Morning comes and the friend wakes up the girl to take over the bed. The girl comes out and we talk for a bit. There is no awkward tension and we are laughing and stuff but she is still a little tipsy from the night before. After a bit the friend wakes up and they call a cab and leave. Shortly after I receive these texts:

Her: You should date X (her friend) so that I am officially unallowed to think of you like that... lol depressing
Her: I'm sorry I'm still drunk ignore me

Several hours later

Her: Ugh I'm officially no longer drunk and so embarrassed.. Sorry about the lamp.
Me: No worries. Last night never happened.

It's the next day and she hasn't said anything more. My concern is that she will be too embarrassed by her behaviour (she's a sweet girl who doesn't usually drink to excess) to hang out again. She also has a boyfriend (who is frequently absent) so she may have feelings of guilt as well. We have good enough chemistry that I can smooth things over and make her feel at ease if we were to hang out. I just can't decide the best way to approach the subject of seeing each other again. I have a feeling that she has her defenses up and may reject any attempt to get together to avoid facing me.

Men of sosuave, how shall I proceed?

 

[AlexDP]

You tell her you can't be together because she has a boyfriend. She obviously thinks of you in a sexy way, otherwise she wouldn't have made that remark about her friend having to date you. Right now I'd show you're a man of character and tell her it can't happen. Either she dumps the boyfriend and comes to you or she doesn't and you would never have been happy with her anyway.

 

[seymour butts]

Um, no. Now is not the time to start making ultimatums. There is something there but she hasn't expressed that she wants to be with me and I have no desire to rush into anything with her.

 

[Iceberg]

You tell her you can't be together because she has a boyfriend. She obviously thinks of you in a sexy way, otherwise she wouldn't have made that remark about her friend having to date you. Right now I'd show you're a man of character and tell her it can't happen. Either she dumps the boyfriend and comes to you or she doesn't and you would never have been happy with her anyway.

Haha. Jesus Christ, man...are you from a holy country?

It was a night of drunken make outs. No need to get all serious about "We can't be together." "I'm a man of character."

The best way to approach this is to just hang out with her again. Don't TALK about the events. Don't even act differently. Just hang out, drink, and I bet you she'll end up in your apartment again. These things never happen only once.

 

[loveshogun]

Men of sosuave, how shall I proceed?

With caution. Continue to date others, as this one is, like any other girl, just one girl. And, if her friend is hot, why not ask her out, too? No feelings can be hurt this early on, so keep hunting.

If you want something specific for these particular women, I'd say they clearly think highly enough of you to hang out with just you, alone, in your apartment. In vino veritas - in wine, truth. You only have to worry about "sobriety regret" and other people judging your plates into repressing themselves. This is where your caution comes in. Don't talk about awkwardness. Don't mention the relationships. Everything will work out the way it should. This is the way life works. You have wiggle room, and you should wiggle the sh*t out of it by dating around and testing the waters.

And... if you really do decide that this situation needs a little umph, you could probably get an innocent enough game of strip poker started on another night out with these broads. Be sure to bring at least one (cool) guy friend for every two women, and it has to be someone they don't really know well (someone not in their social circle, so they aren't afraid of being judged). Then you can turn your innocent game of strip poker into an innocent game of "stick my **** in your *** and **** the **** out of your ******* purple monkey dishwasher."

Happy hunting.