Drunk ex bows up on me

[BillyT]

I have not posted much on here, but have been reading for a while. I was out last night with a woman, early thirties, and damn good looking. It was our second time out and we are in her neighborhood. Things are going good until some guy walks up. He was pissed off and tried to shake my hand and introduce himself. I told him there was no need for that. Anyway he told the girl I am with he needed to talk to her. They went inside, we were at the outside bar, and less than a minute later he storms out, throws her drink on the ground, tells me he is her boyfriend, and tries to get in my face. I stood up, smiled at him, and he backed down. Then the bouncers threw him out.

We split, went back to her place, and hooked up. I asked her what the hell that was all about. According to her they had been together for only a month, she broke up with him last week, and he was freaking out. She said he had never been her boyfriend and at most she had gone out with him a few times and they had hooked up. Not that I care about their history, but I want to make sure I am not out with some other dudes girlfriend. My problem is that I don't know if she is lying or not. Are there men who get that freaked out over a 1 month relationship? I am just treating it like a hookup and having fun, but I am not trying to have to fight because of this chick. Have you ever had some crazy crap like this happen? She wants to get together again, swears that she doesn't normally date crazies, and that she never saw it coming with him. Until that moment she came across as perfectly normal and well balanced, but now I don't know. What do you think, give her the benefit of the doubt or drop it? The sex is amazing but damn, I have promised myself no more psychos and that made my psycho alert go off.

 

[Jitterbug]

Do dudes really get that freaked out over a 1 month relationship?

Sadly, many do.

I'd give that woman the benefit of the doubt for now. Watch your back though.

 

[jophil28]

The sex is amazing .....

Remember that she did not get that way the moment she jumped on you. That guy was pissed because you were pounding the pvzzzy that he fell in lust with.

Something tells me that you would be wise to stay a decent distance from this woman...Perhaps short term flings are her 'thing'.

 

[Crow]

If you're taking this at face value and she is just a hookup, continue. It's likely the dude just needs time to cool off.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

We split, went back to her place, and hooked up.

Personally, I wouldn't have done that. No pu$$y is worth some nutter ex that may come stalking her place.

Trust your gut on this one. When there's a potential of physical danger, your gut isn't usually wrong.

Too much pu$$y out there to risk any danger or drama.

 

[BillyT]

Remember that she did not get that way the moment she jumped on you. That guy was pissed because you were pounding the pvzzzy that he fell in lust with.

Something tells me that you would be wise to stay a decent distance from this woman...Perhaps short term flings are her 'thing'.

Actually you answered my questions in another post.

Yes, this is frequently seen in "The waif ", a BPD sub type.
The Waif presents as UBER feminine, sweeter than candy floss, compliant, passive, and eager to please you. She may make a "helpful" gesture in the first two weeks of meeting her. She will be attentive, grateful for your attention, and willing to do whatever you suggest. SHe may tell you stories of her recent sad and lonely life which might include neglect or poor treatment by a man . There is a magnetic vulnerability about her . She flirts with you, makes suggestive or sexual hints, and kinos you.
She has perfected the feminine 'act'. Her behavior is indistinguishable from a normal woman who has HIGH IL in you.
SHe will enter sexual intimacy quickly - first or second date, but with practised ASD or LMR. You are enthralled by this gorgeous perfect creature .You are IN !
But something tells you, in that deep place inside, that this is too good to be true.

Anyone of you (me included) who has met one of these women will know how it goes in the next few months.

I wish I had read this earlier. I saw it today after posting my original and my damn blood went cold. Perfect description of her. I have been down this road more than once. When I saw that dude losing his mind I thought it might have been something like this. The only women who have ever made me crazy were these. I still pick out the one crazy one in the room, I really thought I had gotten past that. Just dammit. Well maybe I can extricate myself painlessly since it is relatively new.

 

[squirrels]

Yes, there are men who will be driven that crazy by a woman in a short amount of time. And there are women who can manipulate a man that quickly.

Honestly, this is the reason it's dangerous to get attached to a single woman so early in your interaction with her. You start treating a ho like a homegirl, and then next thing you know you're acting the clown trying to "get her back" when you never "had her" in the first place. She has no love for him...it was his fault for not recognizing it. I've been there too. And the thing is she probably doesn't even KNOW she's doing it. She's just used to interacting with men in that way...one night at a time. If she really IS "damn good looking", she's used to men all over hitting on her and just looking for a one-night stand. So she treats them they way they present themselves...as amusement.

 

[jophil28]

She's just used to interacting with men in that way...one night at a time. If she really IS "damn good looking", she's used to men all over hitting on her and just looking for a one-night stand. So she treats them they way they present themselves...as amusement.

Good point Squirrels - and your suggestion is more valid because BPD women lack "object constancy". To my understanding ,that means that every time she meets up with a guy that she is dating, she tends to act towards him as if it were the first time. There is no "storing" of affection in her towards him like normal woman.
For example she can easily and suddenly swing into suspicion and mistrust of him even though his behavior doesnot warrant it. It is as he is on a long series of 'first dates', each one of which can succeed or explode in a moment of emotion from her. THis is why these women are so "high maintenance"... in relationships, they act as if the guy is a childhood toy- to be played with briefly for her amusement and tossed aside when some other appealing image appears. They she misses her 'toy' and she makes a phone call to him to set up mpre "playtime" . And so it repeats.

The guy is usually spending a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what is causing her mood swings and her erratic behavior...And I guess it is in our nature to try to 'stabilize' the unstable .

I'm wondering if BillyT can relate to any of this?

 

[Crow]

Actually you answered my questions in another post.



I wish I had read this earlier. I saw it today after posting my original and my damn blood went cold. Perfect description of her. I have been down this road more than once. When I saw that dude losing his mind I thought it might have been something like this. The only women who have ever made me crazy were these. I still pick out the one crazy one in the room, I really thought I had gotten past that. Just dammit. Well maybe I can extricate myself painlessly since it is relatively new.

Wow, honestly. It totally made me think about a certain scandinavian situation.... Ouch.