Down For a 9 Count But Not Out Yet (long, but funny)

[InvisibleMan]

This is going to be kind of long, but I gotta tell you guys about some more stuff to help you guys gauge the situation. I'm crying out for life preservers here (somebody needs to call DJ 911).

OK guys, I'm still reeling and pretty fvcking hurt and pretty much in a rage again, but I think I'm going to bounce back. I got hit pretty hard with that fvcking ass stupid b!tch, but I won't let it knock me out (I usually don't curse that much in real life, but I am really pissed). Anyway, Let me tell you more about the situation I'm in. When I was at the gym today to work out I decided to approach a bunch of GUYS this time to put my feelers out for a guy that might be a wingman, or some kind of buddy I could go to a club with, 'cause I'm in emergency mode here now.

I talked to about 10 guys at the gym, just friendly conversations about stuff and I asked them if they were married. 9 out of 10 said yes (everybody's fvcking married around here), but I quickly said "just wondering where there might be a good place to meet women around here." so nobody would think I'm gay. About 7 out of 10 said "Not here, dude." Meaning, "not in this town."

OK here is some background about Colorado Springs: It's a town of about 650,000 people. There are a lot of military bases around here (Fort Carson is the biggest, but we have a lot of Air Force here too) so the common conception and COMPLAINT among men in this town is that there are TOO MANY MEN.

Now, a national study was recently done in this town and it was determined that Colorado Springs is one of the TOP places in the country for singles, and the population ratio here is actually not what the common conception is at all. It's like 51% women, 49% men. I tell this to guys and they don't believe it.

As a guy who has some self esteem, my point of view is that what difference does it make what the ratio is? Even if there are more men here (which everyone still thinks despite the numbers). I see hot women all the time around here at malls and stuff - none of them will go out with me, though, but the point is these girls are dating SOMEONE. Even if there are too many men here, why wouldn't they date me? That's a loaded question for me, but that's what a true DJ would think, right? Screw the other guys, 'cause I'm better than them, right?

So most guys in this town say you gotta go up to Denver to meet women. But this is not an option for me. I don't want a long distance relationship (it's about an hour and a half drive up there). A guy who lives in a town of over half million people shouldn't have to be driving to another city to get sex.

The other funny thing that the guys in the gym say (when I ask "where's a good place to meet women around here?") most of them said: "try out a bar, dude" and they gave some names of local clubs. But since they were all married none of the guys would want to go with me. They all gave the excuse that "Well, I've been out of the scene for so long now, I dunno.....blah, blah." The funny thing about guys when you ask this, they say "you could try a bar, but you don't wanna meet a woman at a bar, dude. You don't want a one-night stand."

Why do guys say this? "YES I DO WANT A ONE NIGHT STAND" I feel like screaming. "I want ANYTHING I can get, GODDAMMIT!! GIVE ME A SLUT! GIVE ME SOME NASTY-ASS ***** WHO'S WILLING TO SLEEP WITH ME WITH NO MONEY BEING TRANSFERRED!" I'm being funny, but that's almost what I feel like saying.

So anyway, we're talking about all this stuff, and since it's an interesting topic, other guys are coming over and giving their 2 cents. Most are saying you gotta get out of this town, dude. I say: "I see women ALL OVER THE PLACE around here, dammit!" They say: "Well, they got somebody already." I say: "I'm BETTER than the guy they got." They say "Prove it." We all laugh 'cause we all know this is the clincher. How? How to fvcking prove it? That's what it all comes down to.

So these married guys and me are all bullsh!tting about this crap, 'cause I'm going crazy by now (See? I know how to talk to people!) So the owner of the gym is there too and I say to everybody: "What you guys need in here is a WINGMAN SIGN-UP SHEET!" and everybody just looks at me like, WTF? So I say, you guys know what a WINGMAN is right? They all shake their heads no. So I explain it to them as best I know, and they all nod and say yeah. None of these guys even knew what a wingman is!!!! But when I explain it to them they thought it is a cool idea.

Anyway, I don't think it's gonna happen, but I'm trying to get some other guy who knows what he's doing to help me. No luck there. I also asked the married people how they met their wives. They ALL said: "Well, we were introduced by mutual friends." I'm thinkin': "Great. I got no friends," and these bastards are telling me they DON'T KNOW ANY SINGLE WOMEN 'cause everybody has a damn boyfriend in this town.

I've tried contacting guys from the PAIR network on fastseduction.com. There are about 15 people in town who say they are willing wingmen, but only one person responded to my email, and he never returns my phone calls. This is almost as bad as trying to get a date!!


- Invisible Man

 

[realsmoothie]

I'm not sure why this needs a completely new thread... BUT

It's pretty obvious to me why you're not having any success. You're absolutely desperate. And angry.

It surely shows in person. It didn't show here for a while but your tone in this thread shows it. Anyone who yells at a bunch of guys at the gym about "wingmen" needs to settle down.

Chill, man, chill.

 

[ElChoclo]

There once was a guy named Invisible,

Whose attempts to get girls were quite risible,

He went looking for a wing,

But came back with nothing,

And concluded that life was horrible.

 

[KarmaSutra]

There once was a guy named Invisible,

Whose attempts to get girls were quite risible,

He went looking for a wing,

But came back with nothing,

And concluded that life was horrible.

Yeats would be proud! :flowers:

 

[danielzxc]

So these married guys and me are all bullsh!tting about this crap, 'cause I'm going crazy by now So the owner of the gym is there too and I say to everybody: "What you guys need in here is a WINGMAN SIGN-UP SHEET!" and everybody just looks at me like, WTF? So I say, you guys know what a WINGMAN is right? They all shake their heads no. So I explain it to them as best I know, and they all nod and say yeah. None of these guys even knew what a wingman is!!!! But when I explain it to them they thought it is a cool idea

Relax man. The only I time I ever hear the term wingman being used was in that movie "Top Gun". Nobody I ever knew used it about picking up chicks.

(See? I know how to talk to people!)

I dunno. You just met these guys and you launch into all THAT stuff? People who launch into serious topics only moments after you meet them are weird. If you did this to me in real life, I would think you're a dork and no way would I even consider going out to some club with you. Lol. (You're right, it does sound like trying to get a date with a woman!)

You'd better laugh it off like it was all some big joke next time you see these guys or you're gonna get thought of as "that weirdo" or "that desperado".

I've thought you're a troll a few times myself, but I think you're for real but have got some serious social adjustment issues to deal with. You've just gotta give yourself time man. And I mean time with REAL PEOPLE. 'Cos you can't just learn stuff like this from books. I hope you are for real, btw, because you sure put MY problems in perspective! (Lol, sorry about that.)

 

[jacques]

I've read your posts and I think that your problem is that you may actually be a lot more attractive than what you think. If this is true, you got exactly the wrong advices here, because this forum is not designed for that problem.

Being "too attractive" does not look like it should be a problem, but it is and it is a tough one because of the inherent inconsistency: the less attractive women won't believe you can be interested in them and the hot babes require social skills above your league.

Do you remember those ugly women you approached in the park? Well, you are 36, have your **** together, a decent salary and job and a ribbed body. You should be a HG9+ at least. No imagine an ugly man with missing teeth who would be offered sex by a HB9+, would he believe her or rather imagine that she is trying to con him? Do you understand the problem? Do you remember what this prostitute told you? Do you think she asks all her clients why they visit her?

Now for specific advice:

-drop the story about being a failure. As long as you will be in that spirit, women will sense it and nothing will work. Just say that you have had a few unsuccesfull relationships and you decided to concentrate on your work the past years until you found "the one". This is a story that no-one can disprove and it should sell very amongst HB. Repeat it enough for you to start to believe it. I don't even want to see you post about your "virginity" in an internet forum.

-change your agenda. Stop looking for quick sex, this makes you desperate and women will sense that. I don't care what you do for it: masturbate, visit escorts, whatever, but concentrate on meeting people and make more friends. The moto is "acquire social skills". This should take one or two months.

-use C&F. Read the old, free DeAngelo letters and use one of his simple systems: "treat her like your bratty little sister" or "explain why men are perfect and women all wrong". Just tone it down a bit or you'll sound arrogant.

-as a training ground, I suggest the following. Take the yellow pages and look under "art galleries". Then find out when they have vernissages (Internet search or city art magazines will help). Go there (it's free and full of attractive women) and discuss with the other visitors. Try to find out what their hobbies are and what they like in their friends.


BTW: don't be pissed by the hairdresser. With this kind of setting, a decent DJ would have 7 out of 10 women not showing up. And the fact that she refused to give her phone number is a tell-tale sign that she will not show up. If a HB refuses to give you her number, ask her if she has electricity or ask her if she lives with a chaperone dad, but don't bother making a date. Consider that answer like a polite "no".

By the way, what you should now do is phone the shop, pretend you are sorry because YOU could not make it to the date (it's a lie, yes), ask her if she is not too pissed of and not show up until you need an haircut again (in a month or so).

 

[InvisibleMan]

You guys are missing the point of my whole post. That's why I started a new thread. The common conception here among men is that this a bad town to meet women in. You guys thought there was something I was leaving out, and I thought this might be it. Now, I don't think it's the reason, but it MAY make it a lot tougher for a guy who already has problems finding women (like me). I mean EVERY guy you talk to in this town says it sucks here. Many men go up to Denver on the weekends because they say the women up there are more "receptive." Do you guys think this is just AFC talk, or might there be something to it?

I read that conflicting report about this town (that's it's #1 dating place in the country) and it goes against all logic among guys here. Personally, all of the men I have known in the past have been single, but I have found it VERY rare to come across a woman that doesn't have a ring on, and if she doesn't have one, she is "attached" to someone.

I'm not offering this up as an excuse, because like I thought, true DJs wouldn't let something like this bother them? I mean, there are HBs here, and they ARE going out with SOMEONE....Do you think the guys I talk to are AFCs and offering this "too many men" theory up as an excuse? It seems actually like most men are AFCs!

And in a way, guys, you won't believe me but I consider myself lucky. Most of the friends I remember in my late teens and early 20s weren't big daters, but they all married some real nasty women if I think back on it. Guys are funny. They talk a big game about "oh she's hot, she's hot, I'd like to do her, blah, blah" but you meet them like a year or two later and they married a 300 pound women, or some pasty-thin shrew b!tch who tells them what to do all the time. I'm glad I never fell into that trap. I'm still standing. 14 years after many of my friends got married to fattie or nasty b!tch, here I am still standing. I'm lucky.

And I don't care what those chumps in the gym think of me. I'm me.

- Invisible Man

 

[Desdinova]

A few things:

#1 - You don't need a wingman to attract women.
#2 - If a woman has a BF, then destroy the BF!

If she mentions having a Boyfriend, act like she said "I have a Best Friend". Some women use the boyfriend line as a 5hit test to filter out AFCs. Be better than her BF (even the non-existant one) and you'll increase your chances of getting somewhere.

I normally avoid women who have BFs, but it's fvcking difficult when they're willing to cheat on their BFs just to have a piece of me. They see me as more interesting and more exciting than their boring BF, so they flirt, buy drinks, initiate kino, and the list goes on. They'd rather have me lead them off into my world rather than remain faithful to their BFs.

I've tried contacting guys from the PAIR network on fastseduction.com. There are about 15 people in town who say they are willing wingmen, but only one person responded to my email, and he never returns my phone calls. This is almost as bad as trying to get a date!!

Get yourself a female wing. Guys are much more unreliable because when they get into a LTR, they cut off their balls and hand it to the woman. Women will go out regardless of how whiny their bf or husband gets.

Also, I don't care how much everyone says that your town sucks for single women, they're out there. You're just on the same level as them - they're either not looking, or they're not looking hard enough.

 

[InvisibleMan]

A few things:

#1 - You don't need a wingman to attract women.
#2 - If a woman has a BF, then destroy the BF!

Ok, now I feel we're going around in circles. You guys said I should get a wingman or someone to help me find out what I'm doing wrong.

If she mentions having a Boyfriend, act like she said "I have a Best Friend". Some women use the boyfriend line as a 5hit test to filter out AFCs. Be better than her BF (even the non-existant one) and you'll increase your chances of getting somewhere.

I normally avoid women who have BFs, but it's fvcking difficult when they're willing to cheat on their BFs just to have a piece of me. They see me as more interesting and more exciting than their boring BF, so they flirt, buy drinks, initiate kino, and the list goes on. They'd rather have me lead them off into my world rather than remain faithful to their BFs.

And, again, this is all true advice, but I am unable to get past this point. I keep pushing them ("bring your boyfriend with us, use him as a chauffer, blah, blah," but it's always a no-go. And why do you guys think everything a woman says is a sh!t test? I mean, talk about arrogance. That guy that told me that the hairdresser b!tch gave me a sh!t test by not showing up? What a crock of sh!t. It was a crock of sh!t test! She knew I don't have her phone number, she KNEW I couldn't call her and whine about it, so what kind of sh!t test is that? She DIDN'T WANT TO GO AND DIDN'T EVEN THINK ENOUGH OF ME TO CALL. That's the cold hard truth about the situation.

Get yourself a female wing. Guys are much more unreliable because when they get into a LTR, they cut off their balls and hand it to the woman. Women will go out regardless of how whiny their bf or husband gets.

You guys say this kind of sh!t like a can go out to Target and BUY one or something for god's sake. I have so far been unable to "get" ANY kind of wing. People are either too busy, they aren't interested, or they are just goofballs that I don't want anything to do with.

Also, I don't care how much everyone says that your town sucks for single women, they're out there. You're just on the same level as them - they're either not looking, or they're not looking hard enough.

This I agree with, but again, I am now back at square one.


- Invisible Man

 

[Desdinova]

Ok, now I feel we're going around in circles. You guys said I should get a wingman or someone to help me find out what I'm doing wrong.

Do what's going to work for you. I've never used a wingman, nor do I really have a desire to. If you can find a wingman, then use one. If you can't find a wingman, don't fvcking bother. Having a wingman is not essential to picking up women.

And why do you guys think everything a woman says is a sh!t test?

It isn't. However, women will naturally have their guard up when they meet a new guy. They use 5hit tests to find out if they're in the presence of a real man, or an AFC. The best thing you can do is learn what the 5hit tests are, and learn how to pass them.

That guy that told me that the hairdresser b!tch gave me a sh!t test by not showing up?

I don't know who said that, but that's not a 5hit test. Unfortunately, things have become a bit distorted on this site since the early days. A 5hit test is the way a woman asks "are you attractive?" If he's not phased by her good looks, a BF, begging, crying, or a guilt trip, he'll likely pass the 5hit test.

You guys say this kind of sh!t like a can go out to Target and BUY one or something for god's sake.

A good wingman is hard to come by. Women are everywhere. If you want a wing of any kind, get a woman to be your friend. They don't even need to know how the game works, their presence is all you need. Women react to other women moreso than men. Have you ever heard a woman comment on another woman's attire? It can be downright nasty!

Women get dressed up to compete with other women - and not necessarily to get guys. They just want to look better than everyone else. If a woman sees you with another woman, she's going to wonder what's so great about the woman you're with. If you approach her, she may try being more attractive than your female friend just to be better than her. That's when the fun starts, because your female friend will try to be more attractive that the other woman. It becomes an all-out battle between the women to become the "princess".

Sounds wacky, doesn't it? Wait until you see this stuff in action! The only disadvantage is that if you don't have any game to actually attract the woman, she'll just eliminate the competition to be the winner and then toss you away.

 

[Durden Tyler]

Many men go up to Denver on the weekends because they say the women up there are more "receptive." Do you guys think this is just AFC talk, or might there be something to it?

- Invisible Man

IM

There is something to this. I lived in the Springs (huge tourist/military town) for 7.5 years and know what your talking about. In high school pvssy was a plenty but became scarce afterwards. I spent many weekends at the beachclub and other bars to no avail (i'm an afc btw). Denver has by far many more bars/clubs to go to. Try Larimer Square - downtown Denver has changed ten fold. A good friend lives within walking distance and he loves it. He's an AFC too but still has no problem going out having a good time (cause there's so much to do) and talking to women (for some reason he can't close though). Maybe you guys could wing together as he's always up to party.

Don't worry about the drive... I used to commute between the springs and denver daily. With the 75 mile an hour speed limit (which means 85) and it's a 90 mile drive, to the city limits, that's only an hour. Just be careful driving back.

One thing I always wanted to do was be a ski bumb for a winter. For some reason chics love guys that ONLY ski. It doesn't matter if they have money or what not. They are for some reason attracted to these people. I've had friends that spent their winters on the slopes and herd some wild a$$ stories the next year.

What school did you go to? I may know you.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Do what's going to work for you. I've never used a wingman, nor do I really have a desire to. If you can find a wingman, then use one. If you can't find a wingman, don't fvcking bother. Having a wingman is not essential to picking up women.

Know any extra wing "people" around? I can't seem to buy one. I wonder if Wal-Mart carries 'em? Is anyone listening to me?

It isn't. However, women will naturally have their guard up when they meet a new guy. They use 5hit tests to find out if they're in the presence of a real man, or an AFC. The best thing you can do is learn what the 5hit tests are, and learn how to pass them.

I must be getting sh!t tested all the time 'cause for me, when they got a boyfriend, THEY GOT A BOYFRIEND. And it's see ya later, no matter how hard I try.

I don't know who said that, but that's not a 5hit test. Unfortunately, things have become a bit distorted on this site since the early days. A 5hit test is the way a woman asks "are you attractive?" If he's not phased by her good looks, a BF, begging, crying, or a guilt trip, he'll likely pass the 5hit test.

I'm not phased by anything and I certainly never beg for anything, but when I hear NO, I certainly don't keep trying. I can't imagine that women do this sort of crap to guys they meet that they really want to go out with. This is a really good way to turn guys off. And if you keep PRESSING them, this (to me) shows DESPERATION, which is an even bigger turn off.

IMPORTANT POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE: If I was a real Don Juan, and the hottest guy on the planet and some woman said: "No I can't go out with you, I have a boyfriend." I would say: "Too bad. See you later." 'Cause I know I'd have 10 other chicks I could choose from this weekend. Why would I waste my time on sh!t like that?

A good wingman is hard to come by. Women are everywhere. If you want a wing of any kind, get a woman to be your friend. They don't even need to know how the game works, their presence is all you need.

Again, you're saying this is if all I gotta do is go out and BUY one. I can't get anyone to want to be my friend. (Or for all you guys that hate "can't" - I am unable at this time to get anyone to be my friend, date me, or engage in anything other than polite chitchat.)

Women get dressed up to compete with other women - and not necessarily to get guys. They just want to look better than everyone else. If a woman sees you with another woman, she's going to wonder what's so great about the woman you're with. If you approach her, she may try being more attractive than your female friend just to be better than her. That's when the fun starts, because your female friend will try to be more attractive that the other woman. It becomes an all-out battle between the women to become the "princess".

Sounds wacky, doesn't it? Wait until you see this stuff in action! The only disadvantage is that if you don't have any game to actually attract the woman, she'll just eliminate the competition to be the winner and then toss you away.

I KNOW all this. Why would I even BE here if I knew how to even make friends with people?


- IM

 

[Desdinova]

Know any extra wing "people" around? I can't seem to buy one. I wonder if Wal-Mart carries 'em? Is anyone listening to me?

I have a feeling you're the one who isn't listening. You don't NEED a wingman to be successful with women.

I must be getting sh!t tested all the time 'cause for me, when they got a boyfriend, THEY GOT A BOYFRIEND. And it's see ya later, no matter how hard I try.

There's a world of difference between chasing the woman, and attracting her. You still don't understand how it works. When you have the attitude of a guy who doesn't give a 5hit if she has a BF or not, you'll continue to talk, flirt, and have fun with her. You don't do this because you're trying to get a date, but you do this because it's fun! One of the things you seem to be lacking is the ability to have fun - whether it's on your own, or with another person. Try re-capturing your childhood where you did things solely because you got pleasure out of them.

I'm not phased by anything and I certainly never beg for anything, but when I hear NO, I certainly don't keep trying. I can't imagine that women do this sort of crap to guys they meet that they really want to go out with.

If you're referring to pressing for a date, women do it too. A few guys here (including myself) have had problems with female stalkers. Women can be just as bad as men when it comes to desperation.

IMPORTANT POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE: If I was a real Don Juan, and the hottest guy on the planet and some woman said: "No I can't go out with you, I have a boyfriend." I would say: "Too bad. See you later." 'Cause I know I'd have 10 other chicks I could choose from this weekend. Why would I waste my time on sh!t like that?

So, why are you letting the whole hairdresser situation get to you? Also, an attractive human being doesn't turn rejection around on the person. He continues to enjoy their company as if the rejection is just part of any conversation.

Again, you're saying this is if all I gotta do is go out and BUY one. I can't get anyone to want to be my friend.

That's because you have no social life, nor are you willing to go out and create one. If you're going to devote your life to being a workaholic, you're going to be lonely as hell. Who the hell wants to live their life like that?

I KNOW all this. Why would I even BE here if I knew how to even make friends with people?

I've never had problems making friends because I have a social life. Yet, I still showed up here.

You've recieved some fantastic advice from experienced guys here, who are pointing out exactly what you need to work on. Yet, you refuse to do the work to fix it. Making friends (even temporary ones) can be easier than giving up an addiction. Meeting and dating women can be easier than starting your own business. But, like everything else in life, it requires work and practice.

 

[InvisibleMan]

I have a feeling you're the one who isn't listening. You don't NEED a wingman to be successful with women.

I may not NEED one, but guys were saying it would HELP of I had one. Obviously I'm going to have to go without one.

There's a world of difference between chasing the woman, and attracting her. You still don't understand how it works. When you have the attitude of a guy who doesn't give a 5hit if she has a BF or not, you'll continue to talk, flirt, and have fun with her. You don't do this because you're trying to get a date, but you do this because it's fun! One of the things you seem to be lacking is the ability to have fun - whether it's on your own, or with another person. Try re-capturing your childhood where you did things solely because you got pleasure out of them.

The only women I am able to meet are women I meet on the spot - i.e. girls in stores, girls at checkout lanes, girls who cut my hair, girls in the supermarket. There is only a limited amount of time I can flirt with these girls and only so many times I can "show up" without appearing creepy or needy. If an approach is escalated and DENIED, I do not go back. That to me is stalker behavior.

If you're referring to pressing for a date, women do it too. A few guys here (including myself) have had problems with female stalkers. Women can be just as bad as men when it comes to desperation.

And this is a good thing? People call police on stalkers, male or female. And showing desperation or too much attention is a sign of neediness, insecurity, and OBSESSION. Bad, bad.

So, why are you letting the whole hairdresser situation get to you? Also, an attractive human being doesn't turn rejection around on the person. He continues to enjoy their company as if the rejection is just part of any conversation.

Again, a guy can only go back to a place so many times to "flirt" without appearing obviously desperate and needy. I flirted with a girl at another hair place where I bought some gel, but didn't feel I had reached a "comfort level" to ask her out. How many reasons can I possibly have to go back to a place to buy gel that I only need once every 2 months? I go back, she's not there, go back again, she's busy with customers. Go back again she tells me about her wonderful boyfriend. Don't you see where this is leading? She's saying "please go away, don't bother me anymore."

That's because you have no social life, nor are you willing to go out and create one. If you're going to devote your life to being a workaholic, you're going to be lonely as hell. Who the hell wants to live their life like that?

Dude, what do you think I've been doing for the past 2 months? Sitting on my ass? I've spent DOZENS of hours going places, doing things, cruising malls during the boot camp thing, going to the library to find people to talk to, taking dance lessons, cooking lessons, a bunch of sh!t that I would rather not do but realizing I needed to get out to meet people. I've been spending so much time on this sh!t my work is suffering, and I'm suffering too, 'cause it just makes me realize how different I am from everybody and how alienated I really am.

I've never had problems making friends because I have a social life. Yet, I still showed up here.

You've recieved some fantastic advice from experienced guys here, who are pointing out exactly what you need to work on. Yet, you refuse to do the work to fix it. Making friends (even temporary ones) can be easier than giving up an addiction. Meeting and dating women can be easier than starting your own business. But, like everything else in life, it requires work and practice.

Oh I've refused to do anything, huh? 3 weeks of boot camp, asked around 50 women out, talked to other GUYS to try to get a buddy, and I'm still at zero. Making friends can be easier than anything TO YOU. For me all this sh!t is the most impossible thing I've ever encountered in my entire life.


- IM

 

[HoneyHitter]

Come on, what are the things you want to do before you die? Anything except sex. Do you have all the skills you wish to have? What do you think would make you feel good about your life?

Forget the constraints (age,money,background,...)
Focus on what you WANT and visualize it.

 

[Desdinova]

The only women I am able to meet are women I meet on the spot - i.e. girls in stores, girls at checkout lanes, girls who cut my hair, girls in the supermarket. There is only a limited amount of time I can flirt with these girls and only so many times I can "show up" without appearing creepy or needy.

That's why you'd be well off to find a bar you like, and go there once a week, and get to know some of the regulars. Also, you CAN circle a mall, and strike up conversations with the same cashiers a couple of times before you close the deal. That's a way to give her the gift of "missing you" early on, but you need to build rapport first. This also works well in a bar setting, where you constantly move from person to person, conversing with each of them before going back around and collecting phone numbers.

And this is a good thing? People call police on stalkers, male or female.

I never said having a stalker is a good thing, I was just telling you that the problem of desperation isn't gender specific.

I flirted with a girl at another hair place where I bought some gel, but didn't feel I had reached a "comfort level" to ask her out.

Some women are going to be less responsive than others, Also, women are going to respond to your personality, your voice tone, and your body language. What has always worked for me is being incredibly enthusiastic about whatever I'm talking to her about, and she in turn gets excited and enthusiastic about the subject as well. A woman will react to your mood and personality.

taking dance lessons, cooking lessons, a bunch of sh!t that I would rather not do but realizing I needed to get out to meet people.

Why are you doing 5hit that you don't like? Just to meet women? That's a poor fvcking excuse to do something. Guys on here are going to tell you to take dance lessons or cooking classes because those are things that women do. Just because these places have women, it doesn't mean you enjoy doing these activities. Dump out of the stuff you don't like because you're just wasting your time. Go find something that you're genuinely interested in (if you're interested in anything at all) and do that instead. Make a new thread listing some of the things that you enjoy doing, and we could help you figure out something you might like to try out.

Making friends can be easier than anything TO YOU.

I'll tell you that in the beginning, it fvcking wasn't. I was one of those "shy" people who got beat up in school all the time. I hated social interaction because I was forced to interact with religious nutbags who didn't want anything to do with me. And it seemed like everytime I opened my mouth, my mother would slap me across the face. I had to FORCE myself to interact with people, and it wasn't easy. I'm still not that great at it, but I've come a long way from where I was.

You don't have to tell me this 5hit is hard, because I've been there, I've done it, I overcame it, and I got the certificate. I also made one of my old schoolmates 5hit herself because she couldn't believe how talkative I had become.

Anything is possible if you work at it.

Oh I've refused to do anything, huh? 3 weeks of boot camp, asked around 50 women out, talked to other GUYS to try to get a buddy, and I'm still at zero.

Only three weeks? You're talking like you've been doing this stuff for a year or two. It took me a few months to start getting results, and there wasn't even a bootcamp back then. The thing is, once you get things figured out, and you FIND what works for you (by practicing this stuff out in the field), the single women will begin to flow.

Or you could become like Luke Skywalker and make a science project out of sarging.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ ^ Why are you trying to help someone who obviously isn't ready to be helped ?? And I thought you were 'in the know'



-Cod3r

 

[insomniac]

Dude, what do you think I've been doing for the past 2 months? Sitting on my ass? I've spent DOZENS of hours going places, doing things, cruising malls during the boot camp thing, going to the library to find people to talk to, taking dance lessons, cooking lessons, a bunch of sh!t that I would rather not do but realizing I needed to get out to meet people. I've been spending so much time on this sh!t my work is suffering, and I'm suffering too, 'cause it just makes me realize how different I am from everybody and how alienated I really am.

If you're interested in making friends (which should be your focus right now, rather than meeting women), then there's a fundamental problem with the places you're looking. You'll see people at these things once or twice, and then that's it. Friendships are built over time, not instantly with one meeting (I make exceptions for women, who seem to have no problem meeting for the first time and be exchanging phone numbers within an hour).

You need to be going places where you're going to be seeing the same people over and over again, and who are there for the purpose of doing something together with other people. Yes, you might see the same people at the gym or library, but their main reason for being there is not to meet people.

Clubs are a great place for this. Not dancing/drinking clubs, but recreational/hobby type clubs. People go to these because they like to do something, and they like to do it with other people. If not, they'd just do it alone, right? It's the perfect environment.

Take me for example. I joined a sporting club a few years ago that met about once a week. It was a large mix of people, but I noticed a group of them who would get together apart from when the club met. I made an effort to talk to these guys and eventually became friends with them. On top of that, there were a lot of single women in this club. I ended up going out with four of them, and met my current girlfriend through another one. I'm not even that sociable or outgoing of a person, but I still made friends there.

My advice is this: Find out what you like to do, find a group who does also, and join it. You might have to initiate more at first, but these people are very open to making new friends.

 

[insomniac]

Double post

 

[InvisibleMan]

That's why you'd be well off to find a bar you like, and go there once a week, and get to know some of the regulars. Also, you CAN circle a mall, and strike up conversations with the same cashiers a couple of times before you close the deal. That's a way to give her the gift of "missing you" early on, but you need to build rapport first. This also works well in a bar setting, where you constantly move from person to person, conversing with each of them before going back around and collecting phone numbers.

Yes, I don't have anything in common with anyone, and "small talk" only gets me so far. I have never built "rapport" with anyone and I don't know how to do it. I feel like a chump when I go around talking to people.

Some women are going to be less responsive than others, Also, women are going to respond to your personality, your voice tone, and your body language. What has always worked for me is being incredibly enthusiastic about whatever I'm talking to her about, and she in turn gets excited and enthusiastic about the subject as well. A woman will react to your mood and personality.

Difficult for me to get enthusiastic about things when I have nothing in common with anyone. My interests are so obscure people don't even know what the hell I'm talking about. Besides, I thought you're supposed to get women to talk about their favorite subject: themselves!

Why are you doing 5hit that you don't like? Just to meet women? That's a poor fvcking excuse to do something. Guys on here are going to tell you to take dance lessons or cooking classes because those are things that women do. Just because these places have women, it doesn't mean you enjoy doing these activities. Dump out of the stuff you don't like because you're just wasting your time. Go find something that you're genuinely interested in (if you're interested in anything at all) and do that instead. Make a new thread listing some of the things that you enjoy doing, and we could help you figure out something you might like to try out.

People do things ALL THE TIME to get things as an ulterior motive. WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE GO TO COLLEGE? Because they like to study? Because they like to go to class everyday? No, they do it because they know it will land them a better paying job.

Only three weeks? You're talking like you've been doing this stuff for a year or two. It took me a few months to start getting results, and there wasn't even a bootcamp back then. The thing is, once you get things figured out, and you FIND what works for you (by practicing this stuff out in the field), the single women will begin to flow.

I did the boot camp for 3 weeks. I've actually been trying for a couple of months now. Maybe that's not long enough. I don't know. I would have expected to see results by now. I could have gotten through the last couple of months with zero results WITHOUT reading all the stuff on here and WITHOUT wasting all this time trying to meet women! I mean I can be a loser with NO help whatsoever.


- IM