Double your Dating

[calvin20]

Ok i get the mailbag from david de angelo

there was a guy who had a question he said that C&F works but he have a few problems with it he said that the girls develop feelings for him and he didnt want to get serious with them.

so he asks him how he can avoid that the girls develop feelings for him now i am copying the answer:


But I will say that the "beginnings" of love can be
observed and described.

Have you seen any episodes of this bizarre T.V. show
"The Bachelor"?

You'll notice that several of the women have said things
like "I am starting to have feelings for him"?

When they say this, they're talking about something
OTHER than just ATTRACTION.

In a nutshell, I'll just say that if you ACT like a guy
that wants a woman to LOVE you, then it will often
HAPPEN.

This includes:

-Calling and seeing a woman too often
-Acting like a "boyfriend"
-"Courting" a woman actively

If you don't want a woman to get those "feelings", then
don't call or see her more than once or twice a week.

Don't act like her boyfriend.

And don't "COURT" HER!

There's nothing wrong with going out with a woman a few
times, then not wanting to see her again.

The problems come when you ACT like you want something
MORE from a woman, and then she starts to see you in a
different way and have FEELINGS for you.

There's something called an "implied social contract".

This is when you do something in a way that "implies"
something.

If you do things that imply that you want to be her
boyfriend or husband (like calling and seeing her all the
time, paying tons of attention to her, courting her, etc.)
then you are IMPLYING that you want her to have feelings
for her. And she will.




OK that was the answer? WTF calling a women too much and acting like a boyfriend makes the women feel love for you?

I am confused he always tell dont call often dont go in the boyfriens stuff and now he tells somethings like this.what are your opinions?

 

[Bud Wiser]

Looks like DeAngelo screwed up on this one. He ended up contradicting his own advice in that reply. Also, he was using an example from an artificial, staged environment like a corny "reality" show. The guy who won the first "Bachelorette" series was as AFC as anyone could get. Behavior like that rarely works in the real real world.

Yes, acting like that can work at times -- often with a woman who is desperate. But for me it has never worked with a quality woman I really wanted. In fact, it was exactly the opposite.

In general, DeAngelo's approach works and is a good addition to any DJ's toolkit.

 

[Shadow Dancer]

I've been in the guys situation (from newsletter) many times. It took me a while to figure out why girls would start to "like" me more than I wished them too.

And what David said IS right. He didn't contradict himself. If a girl is interested in you and you start going out with her a lot, it seems as if you want more than just sex. Of course, she has to be into you the same way otherwise she'll be turned off.

I used to talk on the phone for about an hour. Meet up, have sex and spend the night then stay the whole next day when they'd ask if I would stay and not leave yet. Then thy'd call me a couple days later and I'd talk on the phone for a while planning another sex session a few days later and repeating the cycle.

One time, after this went on with a particular girl, she and I were out getting breakfast at her campus kitchen. Her friend came with us and when we wall sat down her friend made a comment.

"Why aren't you guys sitting next to each other? You guys are strange."

The girl I was seeing seemed like she was waiting for me to say something so I just made a joke. Later that night I asked her what was up. Did her friend make that comment because she thought we were a couple? The girl turned to me and exclaimed, "Well, aren't we?!".

Dun dun dun!

We talked about how I really felt and she ended up crying for about an hour. I was upset with myself but also relieved to get it all out in the open. And I finally learned my lesson. I had to go through that lesson I don't know how many times with different girls but I finally learned it.

Look, when you're talking to/seeing a girl, you may tell yourself that you're not leading her on. But if in the recess of your mind, there is just something slightly uncomfortable, you're leading her on. If you find that you're not completely forward and are hiding things, you're leading her on. No one needs to explain it to you. You KNOW when you're doing it even if you don't want to admit it to yourself.


Peace.



-Shadow

 

[calvin20]

j

Hey that theory icludes that the girl have to have very high interesst in you.

otherwise it wouldnt work!