Don't worry, your ex won't be different for the next guy.

[expos]

We often hear about guys being all bent out of shape about their ex's getting with other dudes after the chick breaks up with them and them doing a lot of beta, AFC, stupid things to get them back.

Usually the girls we are pine after are the abusive, cluster B, toxic types who break our hearts and offer no empathy. They are thrilling to be around, give us drama, intensive "love", etc. But as intense as they come to us, the quicker they leave us. The guy gets leveled and blindsided and struggles to go no contact.

In fact, look at the No Contact thread and you'll see a lot of broken men who get stomped by these terrible, low quality b!tches.

May I give you this article to ponder:
http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/200...friend-or-wife-be-different-with-the-new-guy/

You think she'll get better with her next relationship? Not a chance.

Let me give some news I heard today. This girl who I used to be friends with got married last November. This girl was a party animal, crazy, had herpes from a ONS, was a huge branch swinger. She went after bad boys and never was without a boyfriend. Honestly, she was blast to be around, was very funny and threw great parties at her house. She was mess at times and I loved being around this chick, but I could not date her.

What is bizarre is that she is very, very smart. She's an actuary and makes good money at a company and graduated from a top tier University in the midwest.

Anyways, I'm creeping Facebook this morning and I see that she has changed her name back to her maiden name - her marriage lasted just 10 months.

The guy she married was a bright guy as well. Physics PHD, and graduated from West Point. I'm not making this up.

When she married, I felt this guy being a military man, more than any other, could break her out of her party mode and maybe mold her into a more reserved character. At least, I was hopeful.

Not so much.

This is a prime example of what is broken, will always be broken. These chicks don't change. Whether she is dating an AFC, a bad boy, or West Point military grad, you cannot control girls like this.

Don't worry about that toxic girl who broke your heart. They fail over and over again. So instead of being heartbroken about her, sit back and watch disaster unfold.

 

[Jair213]

Spot on brah.

I feel so bad for the dude dating my bpd ex. Dude must going through hell.

 

[soulforge]

great post expos!

i,m not sure if mine is seeing someone, maybe she is, maybe she is not....


i wont lie, some days it bothers me so bad, because our sex life was amazing!


but u know what, i rather go through this pain now, then let this woman screw me over years down the line, after marriage, or moving in together... or god forbid kids!


i can recover from this in time... it could have been so so much worse!

 

[soulforge]

just out of curiosity? how many red flags did you guys choose to ignore

in my case, i lost f@cking count lol

 

[Jair213]

just out of curiosity? how many red flags did you guys choose to ignore

in my case, i lost f@cking count lol

I probably ignored or let pass more than 100 red flags in the first few months. I feel like such a dumaass now. I cringe just thinking about it.

 

[soulforge]

I probably ignored or let pass more than 100 red flags in the first few months. I feel like such a dumaass now. I cringe just thinking about it.

mate so did i... ignored some major flags

 

[floydb25]

Yes. What you see is what you get. People usually don't change, and likely always were and will continue to be as they are. These patterns never change. This is why you must NOT sympathize with "bad" people, and learn to become a good judge of character. Don't excuse or justify ****, or fall for that misunderstood damsel victim BS. These bishes were always nuts; abusive, disloyal, selfish, narcissistic, angry, or whatever.

Applies to friendships, as well. That friend (or acquaintance / potential friend) who gossip's, takes sides, bullies, dumps his insecurities out on others, is abusive, controlling and manipulative? That's THEM. This is how they are, and treat EVERYONE. There is ALWAYS someone they are competing against, talking **** about, causing drama with, taking advantage of, belittling and down-sizing. trying to control and define, using as a scapegoat, etc. It is NOT you.

Watch people closely, and pay attention to their past as it relates to the present. Do NOT take their side, or fall prey to an abuser or manipulator's tactics. Do NOT believe that it's your fault for being played / used / dumped / abused - because these patterns don't change. They treat EVERYONE like trash; play games, cause drama, manipulate, point out flaws, get under people's skin, act like lunatics, cheat, feel entitled, act bossy and selfish, etc - then blame them for everything. That's who they are. You're not the only one who wans them to get stabbed with a pitchfork.

You don't owe anybody ****, nor do you have to tolerate their ****.

 

[nismo-4]

This is also a clear example of how these women don’t relate to others as individual people with whom you have a connection, but as objects with which to abuse and amuse themselves. These women usually discard you and move onto the next shiny object when:

You stop playing by her rules and she notices that you’re becoming immune to her tricks and manipulations. She senses she’s about to be confronted with the truth of her behavior and pulls the rip cord.
She finds someone with more money, more status and more time to devote to her never-ending needs.
She senses you’re about to end the relationship, so she abandons you before you abandon her.
She craves more attention and orchestrates a competition or rivalry for her “affections.”
Why Does She Flaunt Her New Relationship(s) in My Face?

She does this for several reasons, including:

To hurt you
To let you know “what you’re missing out on”
To see if you still care
To see if she can still jerk your chain and push your buttons
To make you feel bad and jealous about all of the alleged men who are “madly in love” with her
To rub your nose in the illusion that she’s moving on in her life and is doing “great” and is happy without you
To see if you’re still available (i.e., not dating). A BPD and/or NPD woman likes to keep her exes in a cupboard for a “rainy day,” so she can seek attention when she’s feeling alone and abandoned by the most recent guy she’s scared off
To test the waters to see if she can lure you back into a relationship with her.
If your ex directly tells you or broadcasts her dating escapades in such a way that you’re guaranteed to learn of them, she has not “moved on” nor is she happy. First, if you’ve really moved on after a relationship, you’re not preoccupied with your ex to the point that you parade your new relationships in front of him or her. In fact, you maintain a healthy distance and just go about your life. If you’ve moved on, you don’t invest time and energy trying to “get at” your ex. This behavior is indicative of not having moved on, being unhappy and trying to maintain some kind of connection, albeit a sick and hurtful one.

Saw this sh*t happen with some of my dad's relationships. As for me, if I drop your ass, your ass is dropped. Why move backwards?

 

[expos]

I think another rule of thumb in judging these toxic women is just looking at how many friends they actually have. The toxic girls I have been with, have one or two "friends" who they never spend any time with. That's because being with them is draining and not worth the effort.

Girls are better at reading other girls. Good people want to be around other good people. I find her friend count to be a great indication of the individual you are dealing with.

 

[Tictac]

No matter how HOT she looks or how good she is in the sack, somewhere there is some guy who's sick and tired of her ****.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Yes. What you see is what you get. People usually don't change, and likely always were and will continue to be as they are. These patterns never change. This is why you must NOT sympathize with "bad" people, and learn to become a good judge of character. Don't excuse or justify ****, or fall for that misunderstood damsel victim BS. These bishes were always nuts; abusive, disloyal, selfish, narcissistic, angry, or whatever.

Applies to friendships, as well. That friend (or acquaintance / potential friend) who gossip's, takes sides, bullies, dumps his insecurities out on others, is abusive, controlling and manipulative? That's THEM. This is how they are, and treat EVERYONE. There is ALWAYS someone they are competing against, talking **** about, causing drama with, taking advantage of, belittling and down-sizing. trying to control and define, using as a scapegoat, etc. It is NOT you.

Watch people closely, and pay attention to their past as it relates to the present. Do NOT take their side, or fall prey to an abuser or manipulator's tactics. Do NOT believe that it's your fault for being played / used / dumped / abused - because these patterns don't change. They treat EVERYONE like trash; play games, cause drama, manipulate, point out flaws, get under people's skin, act like lunatics, cheat, feel entitled, act bossy and selfish, etc - then blame them for everything. That's who they are. You're not the only one who wans them to get stabbed with a pitchfork.

You don't owe anybody ****, nor do you have to tolerate their ****.

Golden post. And every man should burn that last sentence into his brain.

Men are too quick to be heroes for unworthy women. Figure out exactly who and what you are dealing with before you swing in on a chandler to help them. Most people are in sh!tty situations because of their own sh!tty choices.

Great post by the OP as well. This is why men need to stop trying to "bond" with women and just learn to enjoy them. Spin plates, have fun and die happy. Don't waste energy getting stressed over dumb b!tches. Don't change your life or habits to work around dumb b!tches. Don't get sucked into their drama or fall for their guilt trips.

Its crazy how easy life gets when you stop trying to prove things to b!tches.

Most men get screwed trying to live up to some expectation or prove something to some dumb bipolar b!tch. STOP IT. Re-read what floydb25 says above.