Don't want to waste your time, so I'll be quick...

[MrConfidence]

There's this attractive girl named Beth I have Chemistry with, who I for one wouldn't mind getting it with. Recently broke up with her boyfriend, so now shes free, and now I'd like to see if I can get her to go out with me. But I've got two problems, one, I'm not sure how I'm going to approach her, and two, I don't think she would be interested in me. Like I said, don't know how to approach, don't have a good rep with her friends, however, she's always with them it seems.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

the approach should go something like this

walk into class, make sure she's in the room, and before the bell rings or the teacher starts talking... walk up to her...

and say "hi"

and honestly, i don't think you'll have a chance if her friends don't really care about you much.

people are conscious about who they like... it's like when a guy friend of yours says "eww you girlfriend isn't THAT hot..."

girls say things like "you can get better" or they'll just keep quiet when you're around.... or talk to you like you're her little brother.

 

[MrConfidence]

the approach should go something like this

walk into class, make sure she's in the room, and before the bell rings or the teacher starts talking... walk up to her...

and say "hi"

and honestly, i don't think you'll have a chance if her friends don't really care about you much.

people are conscious about who they like... it's like when a guy friend of yours says "eww you girlfriend isn't THAT hot..."

girls say things like "you can get better" or they'll just keep quiet when you're around.... or talk to you like you're her little brother.

I like the first part of the advice, yes I can go up to her and say "Hey Beth, how was your weekend?". Just got to make sure her friends aren't around.

You guys say I make excuses, but then you turn out and say I don't have a chance with her because I don't have a good rep with her friends which was exactly what I was afraid of.

But from what I can tell, if a guy like her old boyfriend could pull her(He's a cool dude no doubt, but come on), then I could pull her. Then again she's known him longer. I find it kind of funny that he went with her for half a year and they never had sex.

 

[BBX]

start talking to her about something related to the class and build your way up.

 

[MrConfidence]

Yeah but what can we talk about about class? Homework? The Assignment?

You know I really gotta stop giving a sh*t what her f*cking friends think, and stop caring whether she likes me or not. The only thing that matters is that I like her.

 

[BBX]

i just gave u perfect advice and u constantly question it and analyze it. i give up on you. remind me to not bother answering to these pathetic posts ever again.

 

[MrConfidence]

go cold approaching every weekend. start a log and give us field reports. look. you've been asking questions for years and what do you have to show for it? nothing. i don't blame you, many people on this forum are like that. but until you decide to take massive effort and try to change yourself, you will stay exactly where you are. for you, i'd recommend you stop reading this site and go into the field exclusively. i'm warning you right now, if you do not do this you will never improve. ever.

Only problem with that is I don't have a car, so I have to stick to school.

i just gave u perfect advice and u constantly question it and analyze it. i give up on you. remind me to not bother answering to these pathetic posts ever again.

Do what you must.

 

[MrConfidence]

Alright man I get what you're saying but most likely I'm just stick to school, and find girls here. I don't live in the city so there aren't many bus stops here... oh what the heck, I just want to stick to school.

 

[MrConfidence]

I can accurately predict the rest of my High School life based on the way things are going. Things stay pretty much the same throughout junior year, I probably never get a car, I don't go to the prom, never approach Marissa and seniors leave. Next year is probably just going to be a repeat, I'll want to get better with women but I never will. Then by MY graduation I'll never get laid. Hate to be negative, but things aren't going to change no matter how much I want them too. Don't have a car, so I'm stuck with approaching chicks at school, and approach chicks at school is a bother. The only chances I'll have to approach chicks from other schools this year will be at track meets, and at this carnival thing called the jubilee. I'm probably going to be remembered as cool guy, played a lot of sports, was very into music, got in a few fights, but had few friends, didn't talk much, and never got laid; and that's if anyone remembers me.

 

[MrConfidence]

whatever, it's your choice whether or not to take our advice. i guess nobody on this board's advice is good enough for you

Wha? I take ALL your advice. But if I don't have a car, I'm stuck at school. It's truth not excuse. This also is NOT the city, so there aren't that many bus stops. So any place outside of school is pretty much out the question. Perhaps I should've joined stage crew for the upcoming school play, a lot of girls seem to be in that. But it's too late now. You trying to tell me, that there's no way I can get better by approaching at school? That's what it sounds like.

 

[i am me]

/\stop being negative. i was never a "loser" but i used to be really shy and i cared alot about wut others thought of me. once i realized how stupid it all was, i started improving my life....ive also seen a lot of people who used to be outcasts and losers turn into people who dont give a fuk and who are confident around women. youre prolly not gonna come to huge revelation where u completely turn your life around and eveythings all good from then on...if you take baby steps, youll start getting less and less of "those days" when you feel like **** and everything seems to go wrong. not sayin you wont still get those tho. you need to persevere through the tough times while improving your game little by little

 

[Lamia]

I can accurately predict the rest of my High School life based on the way things are going. Things stay pretty much the same throughout junior year, I probably never get a car, I don't go to the prom, never approach Marissa and seniors leave. Next year is probably just going to be a repeat, I'll want to get better with women but I never will. Then by MY graduation I'll never get laid. Hate to be negative, but things aren't going to change no matter how much I want them too. Don't have a car, so I'm stuck with approaching chicks at school, and approach chicks at school is a bother. The only chances I'll have to approach chicks from other schools this year will be at track meets, and at this carnival thing called the jubilee. I'm probably going to be remembered as cool guy, played a lot of sports, was very into music, got in a few fights, but had few friends, didn't talk much, and never got laid; and that's if anyone remembers me.

If you hate whats going on CHANGE. Suppose someone just wrote this, and you read it. What would you say, " Hmm this guy has to Change."

Hate to be negative, but things aren't going to change no matter how
much I want them too. Don't have a car, so I'm stuck with approaching chicks at school, and approach chicks at school is a bother.

Here's one thing, stop being negative and start being positive. Also I met a lot of girls doing stuff outside of school. If you think that your REP in your HS is sooo bad that no girl wants to look at you, go do something else besides staying home.

I'm probably going to be remembered as cool guy, played a lot of sports, was very into music, got in a few fights, but had few friends, didn't talk much, and never got laid; and that's if anyone remembers me.

Ok high school is like the begining of your life. This dosn't mean that in College, or in Real Life your going to be the same person. Soon (hopefully) you'll realize that the only way that I want to meet people is to go out, THEN you are improving. Plus you'll look back at this and say what a waste of time, cause girls don't mean the world.

And change your name "Mr Confident"

 

[MrConfidence]

/\stop being negative. i was never a "loser" but i used to be really shy and i cared alot about wut others thought of me. once i realized how stupid it all was, i started improving my life....ive also seen a lot of people who used to be outcasts and losers turn into people who dont give a fuk and who are confident around women. youre prolly not gonna come to huge revelation where u completely turn your life around and eveythings all good from then on...if you take baby steps, youll start getting less and less of "those days" when you feel like **** and everything seems to go wrong. not sayin you wont still get those tho. you need to persevere through the tough times while improving your game little by little

But what I'm asking is, can I improve my game at school? Is there no way to improve if I don't have a car?

If you hate whats going on CHANGE.

That's what I've been trying to do for the last 2 years. As a freshman I approached a bunch of girls, but the conversations didn't really go that well. Sophomore year, I joined band but really didn't have any success. I was still on here Sophomore year, but I never really approached anyone, although I did sit with these girls at once. Now I'm a junior, and my classes basically suck. Other than Chemistry, I have the classes with ALL the same people, and there's only one girl in chemistry I even want to go out with. If a girl is not in any of my lunch classes, the only way I can approach them is at lunch, and that's if the particular girl is in MY lunch period. I really hope I get more varied classes senior year.

 

[Lamia]

But what I'm asking is, can I improve my game at school? Is there no way to improve if I don't have a car?

If you feel truelly feel like you can go up to your mom and say "My school is a piece of **** and everyone hates me so I want to go do <input extracurricular activity>"

Then your rep is bad, but if you feel like only a small group hates you rather then the whole school then go out school.

 

[MrConfidence]

If you feel truelly feel like you can go up to your mom and say "My school is a piece of **** and everyone hates me so I want to go do <input extracurricular activity>"

Then your rep is bad, but if you feel like only a small group hates you rather then the whole school then go out school.

My rep isn't bad it's just that a lot of people see me as "the guy who doesn't talk much". But truthfully, I don't really want to be one of those popular dudes, but more friends would be nice. Right now I only got a couple friends who I can really get a long with. People say getting friends is as easy as sitting down at someone's table and socializing, but it ain't that easy.

 

[Lamia]

My rep isn't bad it's just that a lot of people see me as "the guy who doesn't talk much". But truthfully, I don't really want to be one of those popular dudes, but more friends would be nice. Right now I only got a couple friends who I can really get a long with. People say getting friends is as easy as sitting down at someone's table and socializing, but it ain't that easy.

Dont say you want just friends. Plus getting friendly with people is easy. You just need to find a person that is into your things and just talk to that person. Then if you see that person just go up and feel confident. Confidence is everything.

 

[MrConfidence]

i don't live in the city either, i live in a quiet little suburb. there's always going to be bus stops that can take u to the mall, you just have to look a little. just go to the website of your local bus service. also i didnt have a car the past 3 years but i still got to the mall (even though i didn't approach back then) just by getting rides from either my parents or friends. getting to the mall is easy, that shouldn't even be part of the equation

and you can improve by approaching at school. it's just mall would be better because there's less pressure on you there (because you'll never see them again) and because social status counts for nothing there. it's just a better place to practice. if you dont really have friends at school you're going to look like a sketch if you approach there. you should work on your approaching skills outside of school, while developing your social circle in school. that way, when you do approach in school, you'll have more social proof and girls won't instantly reject you in their heads. not that you shouldn't practice in school, talk to all the girls in your classes as much as you can. but cold approaching outside of school can give you much more practice. especially since you can sarge for as long as you want.

I already know all the girls in my classes, and they are not the type of girls I would like to talk to. I'd rather approach girls outside class that I don't really know.

 

[MrConfidence]

did you even read the rest of my post?

btw, post a typical convo you have when u approach.

Well rather than make something up, I'll give you a real approach I did, which is pretty much a typical approach for me. This is back from Freshman year, but I haven't improved, so it doesn't matter:

[I engage in eye contact with her]
Me: Hey, Tina.
[Tina looks at me]
Me: Hey, Tina is it okay if I sit with you?
[Tina Smiles]
Tina: Sure!
[I sit down]
Me: So... how was school today?
Tina: Oh, good.
[Pause for a few seconds]
Me: So... what are you listening to?
Tina: [She stated a band name, but I can't remember the name of it.]
Me: Oh, that rock music?
[Tina nods]
Tina: Yep.

And for the rest of the ride, we didn't talk at all. I just sat there wondering why she was interested and Tina just basically sat there looking out the window, listening to her CD Player.

I must of looked like a f*cking joke when I did that.

 

[Quiksilver]

Take what I say with an open mind, and accept that it might possibly be true.

Has anyone ever told you how stubborn you are?

Everything...and I mean everything...is only as hard as you think it is.

You have to change bro. You only start improving when you start heading in the right direction.

Right now your mindset isn't good. You're putting up barriers infront of yourself as you go. Every time somebody gives you advice, you put barriers up for why it won't work in your situation.

At some point you're going to have to put the blindfold on and trust yourself.

Have some faith in yourself and your abilities. It doesn't have to be justified or deserved faith, but you need to have faith in yourself and stop relying on your surroundings and environment for support.

Of course you haven't improved man. There's nothing to improve upon.
--------------
Imagine that to date this girl you're going to have to elevate yourself to a certain height, just for fun say its 30 feet off the ground. What you're asking right now, as far as advice, is for an unsupported and unstable ladder to get to that height. Climbing that ladder will be impossible without stability. You need to develop a base inside yourself; a base of faith and confidence in yourself before you can start climbing that ladder. This isn't going to come from us, from that oneitis in your class, or anybody else. One day you're just going to have to leap off that cliff, and have faith that there's water at the bottom.

--------------



Either that or you literally have no testicles, and you should go hang yourself with a bedsheet.

your choice.

 

[MrConfidence]

Lol dude. First off did you read my whole post? Because I can't seem to get it into your head that if you try hard enough you can handle your transportation problem.

Are females always that unresponsive to you? First you should work on your confidence, body language, voice , and physical appearance just so they don't automatically reject you. Your conversation skills are terrible. don't ask so many questions, and when you do ask questions make them open ended rather than questions that can only be answered by one word. Make statements, tell stories, bring up interesting things that happened, make jokes, just communicate like a regular human being!!!

I know, all this has been told to me before. Now you see why I don't like opening with "Hey, how's it going?". But it's not easy to communicate with a girl you don't know. You basically know nothing about her, and if she doesn't want to be open up, that's the end.