Don't want to be in a relationship, but don't want to lose her..

[vagrant]

Well not yet. I'm telling you though, this girl is going through my veins infecting me with this so called oneitis! I'm not acting all afc though! Thanks to this site. Anyways, I never thought a girl this good looking would fall for me. No offense to my self-esteem, but this girl is really banging. I'm talking pretty face, lips, and eyes, perfect as$, and legs. She looked like she just came out fresh from the cover of a car magazine. Whoever you think is really hot? I'm talking about her.

My problem? I don't want to be in a relationship but I do want to keep her around. I think I'm falling too fast for this girl, because I'm thinking I want to spin plates, but I don't want to lose her. This is bad. I feel like I know what I should do, but I feel like someone really needs to slap me right now and wake me up!

 

[Hughman]

You've been here nearly 3 years. You know the drill surely. You don't have to spin plates.

Just don't be needy or clingy with her. Contact her now and again. No long chats other than in person.

 

[Zebedee]

Im confused, why dont you want to be in a relationship with this perfect girl?

 

[comic_relief]

Im confused, why dont you want to be in a relationship with this perfect girl?

ditto, if I find someone that is amazing I would get into a relationship with her.

Is her personality sh!t?

- comic_relief

 

[JCballin88]

I'm in an extremely similar situation. My hesitation is based on the fact that it would have to be a LDR, as I'm two states away. It seems like LDR's always inevitably fail, so I just don't want it to be all-out official because it's so hard be far apart but still maintain that intimate loyalty.

 

[vagrant]

ditto, if I find someone that is amazing I would get into a relationship with her.

Is her personality sh!t?

- comic_relief

I don't know. I'm just afraid or worried for some reason.

I just got out of a three year relationship. It ended, because I kissed another girl and told about it. It's not the point anymore. She moved on already. She already found someone else. Everything's cool. I was a cheater. Not anymore. I learned my lesson so let's leave the case closed.

Anyways, I guess I'm still hurt. Though I've been there already and I know I can handle the pain, the thought of it still makes me sick. I really loved my ex. She did too. The fact that our relationship ended to me is really unbelievable. The way we were back then? I'm like this is it. I was happy. I didn't care about anyone else. Even today if we were to get back together I'll be more than happy. I was stupid. Weak. I regret everything.

I really feel that if things doesn't work out with this new girl then what the h*ell does my future hold? I guess I'm afraid to find out. Does anyone feel me?

 

[vagrant]

I'm in an extremely similar situation. My hesitation is based on the fact that it would have to be a LDR, as I'm two states away. It seems like LDR's always inevitably fail, so I just don't want it to be all-out official because it's so hard be far apart but still maintain that intimate loyalty.

Me and my ex were 3000 miles away. NY and CA. It would have worked out if it wasn't for me. I was tempted. I ended up kissing another girl. The fact that I told her is not the issue. I hear a lot of people telling me that I should have kept my mouth closed. Honesty is always a part of me, a part of her, and a part of our relationship. It kills me keeping something like that from her. I knew I had to tell her and I did.

The fact that she didn't forgive me is what's driving me crazy, because in my mind I'm thinking. "She doesn't really love me, because if she does then she'd forgive me". It's still a mystery to me.

Two states away is nothing. Love is a powerful thing. We both had it, and if you and your girl have it, nothing else will get in the way.

Is it a fact that all LDR ends? That I can't answer anymore. I wish I can tell you that mine worked out. If I didn't kiss that girl, would something else occur? Could she have been the one to kiss another guy? No one knows.

It's all questions and no answers..

 

[WaterTiger]

"She doesn't really love me, because if she does then she'd forgive me"..

If you really loved her, you wouldn't have been sucking face with some other chick!

 

[vagrant]

If you really loved her, you wouldn't have been sucking face with some other chick!

Here we go. lol. There's no excuse to what I did. If I can just post a picture of my ex and the girl I kissed maybe you'd believe me that I don't know what the f*ck I was thinking. My ex is 10x better in looks and personality. What I did is definitely on my list of one of the stupidest thing I've ever did. It's not even like I kissed the girl, because she's way better than my ex and I just wanted to be with her. I have no f*cking clue at all why I did it. It kills me everyday to think that a good relationship like that ended because of that sh*t. I was an AFC as an AFC can be. I was weak, inexperience, everything

I wasn't sucking face to with the girl. She asked me if I was a good kisser and the next thing I know she kissed me. It lasted for about a minute. I never talked to her after that. Even when my girl dumped me I never called the girl even though I can hit it all day. I f*cking hate the girl. Yeah I know my fault. I'm dealing with it like a man, am I not? UGH!!!!!!

Sometimes I think that my ex just used it as a way out. Can't blame her. I can't say that I was all that. I'm becoming one though. Can't let her think one day that she made the right choice. Alright, I'm done talking to myself. :yawn:

 

[Sandow]

My problem? I don't want to be in a relationship but I do want to keep her around. I think I'm falling too fast for this girl, because I'm thinking I want to spin plates, but I don't want to lose her.

If you cave in, you will lose her. Don't believe me? Go ahead and try it, but don't say I didn't warn you.

The only way to keep this girl around is by spinning plates. You said you want to spin plates but you think you will lose her by doing this? Your thinking is backwards! Its the other way around. The more options you have, the less needyness you show, the more she is gonna want you. And like you said, if you wanna keep her around, keep spinning (or begin) to spin plates. Eventually, she's gonna cave in and want a relationship. Then it's up to you what you wanna do from there.

That's the best way to play this one.