Dont let your trailer be better than your film

[Bubs]

The way is simple to get a girl. I don’t see why gimmicks like routines; puff your chest out to look manly; ****y and funny; and “what should I do next?” should even come into play with this equation.

They help I know that. They’ve helped me. But are we all so messed up that we can’t even take evolution by the balls anymore? Our inner game is seriously messed up. But if we grasped nature by it’s ass, we’d realise that we are the ones who are in control. You’re all just suppressing yourselves because of social conditioning. You’re afraid! Pure and simple. And these gimmicks people offer DO…NOT…HELP!!!…..well, they don't help much anyway. They generate interest. but a main fear is "okay, i've got her interested. now what the hell do i do? talk about sonic the hedgehog?"

Rejection and embarrassment…those are the ONLY two fears you have. The trouble is, you probably have so many ways to LEAD to embarrassment or rejection
“she turns her head away” rejection
“she blanks me” rejection
“she laughs at me” embarrassment
“she scratches her head in an “oh ****” manner” rejection
“her friends come over and give you a nuggy” embarrassment
“she has a boyfriend” rejection AND embarrassment….and a possible ass whopping

There are multiple things that could go wrong, but the only two feelings you are going to feel are REJECTION and EMBARRASSMENT. That’s it. That is the ONLY thing that is stopping you.
Oh, and the fear of what the hell do you say after “hello”…..that’s a confidence and sense of humour/fun issue. I’ll get to that some other time.

Interaction is a natural process because we are social creatures. As much as you want to hide from it – it’s a fact. That’s why you are itching to talk to a girl – but for some reason, you can’t.
Infact, the reason why most people are on this board is not to have sex – it’s an inner issue. They want to be more social and leader of the pack. That all comes down to one key factor – PEOPLE! Not just girls, PEOPLE!

Now don’t give me that “I’m scared of people. I’m scared of talking” crap, because I’m sure you have friends. I’m sure you have family. I’m sure you have had strangers in the past who are now close friends. Are they people? YEP! So why do you have a problem with girls and not them? How about girls you’re not even attracted to?

Interaction is not the problem, your only problem is your fear of rejection and embarrassment because you put WAY too pressure on yourself. GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR WILL YOU!!
I bet people have gone through the exact same thing YOU are hallucinating, and yet they brush it off so easily. Why? BECAUSE THEY CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT!!

The reason they can laugh about it is because they take themselves lightly. You probably don’t. You are probably comparing yourself to Mr Hollywood and Mr popstar – so you think you can’t match up to them. You think you are less than them. Try comparing yourself to Mr Geekboy with his celotaped glasses, or Mr Sumo over in the corner with the broken chair.

The real world is not like Hollywood, and popstars are just fantasy. In the real world, we are all average looking and dying for some connection. (u realise I didn’t just say sex there?). We all need connection. We’re aching for it because WE ARE SOCIAL CREATURES.

Now, you realise REJECTION and EMBARRASSMENT are the only two emotions you are afraid of.
Ask yourself, how many ways do you have to feel that emotion? Do you make it easy for you to feel them?
She turns her head away? (i feel rejected and think "oh crap")
She takes a sip of her drink? (i feel like she's tryin to push me away.)
She fakes a heart attack just to leave in an ambulance so she doesn’t even have to look at you?

Just ask yourself how many ways you have to create that belief that you are being rejected, or embarrassed…and that is where your first problem lies

The second problem is the belief about yourself and how you carry on a conversation with a girl. Can you keep her interested? Will she turn away if you say something wrong? That is all about how you perceive yourself, and you’ll find it all starts within you.

I wish people would focus more on the inner game rather than gimmicks.
“Stand tall and you’ll appear confident”
“Say this and she’ll be putty in your arms”
“show her a magic trick, bad-a-bing bad-a-boom, you’re in”

I hate that stuff because in the end, the trailer is better than the film.

You know what I mean don’t you? You see a trailer for a film. It looks great. Explosions, sex, violence – all the best clips! You're dying to see it. Then when you see the full film, its crap!!!

That seems to be our biggest fear, which stops us from even attempting our to prove our inner game. Because we fear we have nothing about us afterwards in between those routines and ****y and funny statements.

So don’t let the trailer be better than your film. Focus on your inner game first. And your inner game is YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT YOUR WORLD!!! That way you feel you have the courage to excel in other areas.

Once you change them, you control everything.

 

[Duke]

Great post, Bubs!

Ultimately, the tactics and techs are treating the SYMPTOMS of the problem and not the root of it. The problem is like an 8 headed snake. As soon as you cut off one, another one pops in to replace it. The root problem, this eight-headed snake, is self-disesteem.

Do not guys who like themselves and aren't intimidated of other people naturally stand up straight? Don't they naturally project their voices in a way that commands attention? Don't they naturally make eye contact? Don't they naturally take themselves and other people lightly?

People get so caught up in learning the mechanics of this stuff. They get SO caught up in getting reactions from other people. So much is said in this community about how important it is to "not care what other people think" in order to get girls.

NOT CARING what other people think IN ORDER TO GET GIRLS. See the contradiction here? A person who tries to "not care" what others think in order to get girls STILL CARES. A person who sits up at night learning endless tactics/techs and routines STILL cares. He is STILL imprisoned by what other people think of him. He is, in essence, learning ADVANCED SUPPLICATION TECHNIQUES.

I am NOT saying that all the tactics/techs are bad. Some of them are a great MEANS to increasing your inner game. For example, if you are not already ****y and funny, then using some of these lines might show you the INHERENT VALUE of being ****y and funny... which is that it's fun to do.

SOME people use the techniques to ENHANCE and SHOWCASE who they are. Others use the techniques to HIDE who they are. This is a mistake.

The INHERENT VALUE of working out is to feel better about how you look and how you feel.

The INHERENT VALUE of "not giving a fukk" is PEACE OF MIND and the ability to be true to who you are.

The INHERENT VALUE of being expressive and being a good listener is that people understand you better, and you understand people better.

The INHERENT VALUE of dressing well is that you re-affirm that you are worthwhile of wearing good clothes. It makes YOU feel good to re-affirm your worth by taking care of yourself and improving yourself.

It is a MISTAKE to persue these things primarily because "it's what gets the girls!"

Do these things for YOURSELF! In YOUR LIFE, YOU are more important than any girl will ever be.

Here is a story to illustrate my points:

This past Saturday night, a girl sarged me.

She had the confidence to grab my hand while we were talking. And then after 5 seconds, since I wasn't responding too warmly (my jealous AFC friends were watching us and I didn't want to stir sh!t with them... bros before ho's), she tossed my hand away and said "Okay."

Immediately, my mind clicked and whirred to Mystery's "Trust Test." He will grab a girl's hands during conversation and squeeze them. If the girl doesn't squeeze back, he will throw her hands away dismissively. This gets the girl chasing his validation, because she feels more validation holding his hand than not holding it.

Later, she asked me what I've done all summer. As I started talking, she interrupted me and said "Don't try to impress me with your answer, just tell me what you did."

:crackup: Through my laughter, I smiled and looked her in the eye and asked suspiciously, "And why would I want to impress you?"

"Because I'm cute."

So let's recap. When the girl took my hand, she was kinoing me. When she threw it away for not reciprocating, she was making me chase her validation. When she told me that I don't have to impress her, she was assuming she was the prize. When I asked why I'd want to impress her, she was displaying confidence.

Do you guys honestly think SHE sits at home thinking to herself, "Okay, I'm going to touch him on a high point. I'm going to assume I'm the prize to make him like me. I will dominate his reality and control the frame with stories about how I bobsledded in Antarctica and simultaneously saved my ex boyfriend from charging sea lions by whittling a slingshot out of sticks and stones!"

Nope. This is all natural to her. She has TIGHT inner game. She REALLY believes she is the prize. She REALLY believes in her own value. She REALLY believes that guys will respond well if she touches them.

When you look at most guys in the community, they don't think like this. They think, at a core level, that they are unattractive and inadequate. And then they go about trying to find the most effective ways at hiding how inadequate they are.

"If I puff my chest, she will not think I am lame. If I tell her a cool story, she will think I am interesting."

You AREN'T lame on a core level. THINKING that you are lame and that you have to hide it is what makes you lame. You ARE interesting. You don't need stockpiles of stories to demonstrate this. THINKING that you aren't interesting without routines is what makes you uninteresting without routines. Guys are creating self-fulfilling prophecies unknowingly with this sh!t.

Focus on developing your expressiveness. This is how stories can make you appear attractive in the first place... how YOU felt and reacted to the content in the story is what's interesting and shows your personality... not the story itself. You will run out of stories, but you will NOT run out of expressiveness. Kill the snake, don't just chop off another head. The way you stab it in the heart and get the hissing serpent heads to SHUT UP is by acknowledging that you ARE attractive on a core level.

When you BE WHO YOU ARE without apologies and STOP trying to live up to girls', parents', society's, and the seduction community's idealized version of who you should be, you simultaneously get peace of mind and attraction from girls. But remember to be who you are FOR YOU and not to get girls. Girls will come and go. YOU will always have yourself. You are more important than any girl will ever be.

 

[Bubs]

Listen to duke here people

It shouldn't be about thinking the next "****y and funny" comment; the next psychological routine; the next neg phase.
It's all been about gimmicks and technicalities - and we are forgetting our nature and our inner selves here.

Once we do a routine, then what? What the hell do people do? Have you got anything to talk about? NO!! And so the interaction will only be about 2 - 4 minutes if you feel nervous about yourself, because you will eject yourself from the situation, or she will eject from it. And if she ejects - you will feel worse about yourself.

The key is to CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF!! That way you can spring up anything and everything in a conversation, WHILE running game and upping the level of attraction, and you'll feel totally comfortable doing it!

I'll explain later. Right now, just think about it...

 

[Bourne]

Great post. Inner game first. When you have that handled, everything will come together. Posts like this will keep me coming back here.
5-stars.