Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
In the past, I've always noticed a tendency in myself to become somehow "different" and weak when in the presence of a woman, and I was never able to figure out what it was that I was perceiving.
But now I know. Many AFCs have the tendency to become reactive in the presence of a woman and to conform to her frame. I think of this as "feeding off her energy". This is the feminine conforming to the feminine, and it comes off to her as creepy. If you're doing this, it even seems creepy to you though you may not know why. You are reacting to her, and that really looks and feels bad.
I've come to realize that having grown up with 3 sisters and a mother, with a largely absentee father (great guy but barely taught me anything at all), I became very "feminine" in my socializing. I don't mean feminine in demeanor (although that was slightly there but is now eradicated). I mean feminine in conforming to the other person, to feeding off their energy. I could always feel myself become reactive and somehow "different", but never knew why.
Nowadays, I approach my interactions by setting the frame and maintaining my base of power. It involves remaining a bit aloof or detached, remaining non outcome-dependent, and being confident in who I am and confident in the value I bring to the world.
My advice to you noobs who are just now trying to figure all this stuff out is to think in terms of being non-reactive in your interactions. Move slowly and deliberately (very important). You own time itself. Eliminate that wide-eyed, puppy-dog enthusiastic look in your eyes, and instead close them down to a slit a little more. Stop shaking your head in agreement or disagreement to whatever is said. It makes you look, feel, and act weak. Make people conform to you and your power. Think of yourself as a piece of iron, upon which clay must conform when pressed.
YOU set the tone. YOU set the frame. The world bends to you, not the other way around. You are a CAUSE, not an effect.
Walk around with that attitude, but also with the attitude that you are the alpha-dog, the go-to guy who takes care of people and the environment around him. In fact, whatever environment you're in, take ownnership of that environment. It's your space, to do with whatever you will. People will perceive this as powerful presence.
You bring value into others' lives. You bring them humor and good emotions every time you see them. Even so, you make your borders well-known and anyone who crosses them is punished without fail.
Remember, men, the frame of every interaction must be seized and maintained by you. Don't feed off her energy. You are a rock; You are established as a powerful entity who moves about in his world as he sees fit. You own your world. She is the conformer, not you. She is a guest in your reality for as long as you see fit.
But now I know. Many AFCs have the tendency to become reactive in the presence of a woman and to conform to her frame. I think of this as "feeding off her energy". This is the feminine conforming to the feminine, and it comes off to her as creepy. If you're doing this, it even seems creepy to you though you may not know why. You are reacting to her, and that really looks and feels bad.
I've come to realize that having grown up with 3 sisters and a mother, with a largely absentee father (great guy but barely taught me anything at all), I became very "feminine" in my socializing. I don't mean feminine in demeanor (although that was slightly there but is now eradicated). I mean feminine in conforming to the other person, to feeding off their energy. I could always feel myself become reactive and somehow "different", but never knew why.
Nowadays, I approach my interactions by setting the frame and maintaining my base of power. It involves remaining a bit aloof or detached, remaining non outcome-dependent, and being confident in who I am and confident in the value I bring to the world.
My advice to you noobs who are just now trying to figure all this stuff out is to think in terms of being non-reactive in your interactions. Move slowly and deliberately (very important). You own time itself. Eliminate that wide-eyed, puppy-dog enthusiastic look in your eyes, and instead close them down to a slit a little more. Stop shaking your head in agreement or disagreement to whatever is said. It makes you look, feel, and act weak. Make people conform to you and your power. Think of yourself as a piece of iron, upon which clay must conform when pressed.
YOU set the tone. YOU set the frame. The world bends to you, not the other way around. You are a CAUSE, not an effect.
Walk around with that attitude, but also with the attitude that you are the alpha-dog, the go-to guy who takes care of people and the environment around him. In fact, whatever environment you're in, take ownnership of that environment. It's your space, to do with whatever you will. People will perceive this as powerful presence.
You bring value into others' lives. You bring them humor and good emotions every time you see them. Even so, you make your borders well-known and anyone who crosses them is punished without fail.
Remember, men, the frame of every interaction must be seized and maintained by you. Don't feed off her energy. You are a rock; You are established as a powerful entity who moves about in his world as he sees fit. You own your world. She is the conformer, not you. She is a guest in your reality for as long as you see fit.
