Don't be her therapist?

[nighter]

Hi!

Every where i read don't be her therapist. Thats the ticket to friendszone, and i understand that. But my problem is i don't know how to avoid a situation like that.

I know this girl who's IL for me at the beginning was sky high.
She txt' me some sms where she told me that she would do anything for me, and i could feel the vibes that i was on a pedestal in her mind. Now i have banged her three times. But i feels that each time she puts me in a situation as her therapist it, i get closer to friendszone, and thats really frustrating because i dont know how to avoid it.

This girl really have alot of problems. Her ex dosen't leave her alone, and he tell her that he gona kill himself if she not come back, and then he sneaks around everywhere and spy on her. If that not enough she have also some problems with her parents.

So she starts to tell me her life story, all her problems what shall i do with that and that and so on. That just makes me feel like a mrniceguy that lissen to all her problems, and the i feel the attraction moves to more like friends.

So my question is, how would you handle a situation, when she tries to make you her therapist?

 

[satyriasis]

tell her to go see an acutal therapist or talk to her g/f's about her problems.

 

[Kerensky]

Originally posted by satyriasis
tell her to go see an acutal therapist or talk to her g/f's about her problems.

Ok, good idea. Can anyone offer a more tactful way?

 

[nighter]

Originally posted by satyriasis
tell her to go see an acutal therapist or talk to her g/f's about her problems.

I belive that, it will hurt her feelings, if i tell her that.

I think the best way to handle it, is on somehow avoid it whitout her even notice it. But not sure if thats even possible. I tried to just change subject but it did not work.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

You know and have practiced C+F with girls right?

When they tell you a problem like that offer her help in a C+F tone. been doing it for years. Laugh it off like it's not that big of a problem, offer to play along with her, and challenge her ideals.

If you notice problems bring em up. You don't let them blow over, unless they actually will.

Sometimes girls throw sh!t tests your way. I laugh when I hear the so called DJ's on this baord complain about them.
Sometimes girls throw problems your way. I can connect with them, been there done that.

You've got to promote strengths when they tell you their problems. Do you know anything about this girl? Why does her ex want her back so bad?

The guy seems like a total tool, especially if he stalks her. You've got to pull a white advocate mindset out of your ass next time you see him. Tell your girl your going to go talk to him...

Than actually go and talk to him. Tell him whats up. She's scared. Your scared. If you see him again, than your going to make HIM scared... Deal with her problem, that is the ultimate solution.

 

[reyalp]

I'll take The Rapists for $400

 

[steroidsrule]

lolll thats the first thing i thought of when i saw this post.. celebrity jeapardy rules... in short... being her emotional tampon is a no no

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Re: My 2 cents.

Originally posted by KillaPetehog
DO NOT OFFER ADVICE!!!!!

Most men make the mistake of immediately offering solutions.

Only offer solutions, if she asks for them.

But if you want something more, you have got to stop offering advice.

WOMEN ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER

80 to 90 percent of the time, they already know the answer to their problems!!!

They’re not telling you a problem for YOU to fix it…they’re telling you the problem so that YOU can LISTEN. Ask ANY girl about this!

P.s.

By the way, this girl is damaged goods.

TFTTFFTFTF, that is SOOO full of KBJ material it's not even funny man. Well it is funny, because you weren't trying to tell me a joke.

Half of what you said is true, the things I deleted are perfect. The points that remain are either half truths are full out wrong. The nexting problem is something you have actually done, you don't accept it after coming out with your damaged goods notion though.

I've actually been there, I've seen the body bags, I've taken off the nooses, I've applied pillows and shirts to people who've slit themselves. I've cried over a dead person with blood on my hands. So you can call me a BS liar, but sometimes YOU HAVE TO INTERVENE.

Yeah sometimes some girls do it just for attention. Others do it because they really are depressed, but still go overboard just for show. Some girls feel like they are everything and suppress the feelings and than cut themselves slowly. Others just cry,and tell nobody. Get enough experience with the whacked girls, become friends, and you'll experience what I have. Most are just looking for somebody who will listen to them that is true.

It's a touchy subject. I'm not DJ enough to tell you what to do. Just next the girl. It's the easiest and safest way to deal with it. Your a man, she can't go off charging people and having them freak and ruining her life, she has no way to stop them except scream... If I did give you advice, two wrong steps and a turn down the wrong alley and somebody's laying dead from an OD...

Just talk to the guy, tell the girl you don't want to hear any of the crap it's depressing. If she wants to chill with you anymore she had better snap out of it...

Peace

 

[NeedToImprove]

being an emotional tampoon is for woman and gays

if you want a girl you want put up with her lame stories and whining.if she starts whining about how a guy she likes treats her had but she still likes him, she deserves a slap in the face (well not literally), but come on wake up you ***ch i'm here, i like you dont you see that? yeah it seems we are invisible to their eyes or are we?

if a girl treats you like one of her gay / female friends why trying to win her over when there's plenty of fish.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Re: I suppose I should reword it...

Needto Improve, please listen to KillaPeteHog. Don't make blind assumptions.

Originally posted by KillaPetehog
Do you really think that what you say and what you tell them influences how they act?

Nice, a player responding kindly to a serious thread. I agree with everything except for this.

If seduction is using your words, BL, and all that mumbo jumbo. Why do you post something like this? Does this apply ONLY to women who make bold claims about their problems?

Come on, isolate a girl and she starts doing this to you? What would you think of it? damaged goods, or a wierd style or LMR?

 

[solo1]

you guys make a good point in avoiding giving advice, to avoid the LJBF zone.

However how about this situation: if a girl in class has high IL in you and seeks your validation by asking you if she did this hw/project right/wrong. And lets say she did it wrong, would giving her advice on how to fix it up be freindszone or what?

 

[Dante3214]

Uhm.. dude.. in this case.




Seriously confront this guy.


That will solve the problem, if you can't confront him because you're afraid of getting your ass kicked (which is respectable), then you need to think of a way to talk to him.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by solo1
you guys make a good point in avoiding giving advice, to avoid the LJBF zone.

However how about this situation: if a girl in class has high IL in you and seeks your validation by asking you if she did this hw/project right/wrong. And lets say she did it wrong, would giving her advice on how to fix it up be freindszone or what?

That'll depend on how she responds to you telling her that it's wrong. If she just wants an opinion, then you shouldn't help her fix it. If she wants you to make her project A grade material cause she knows she's hopeless, then she'll be asking you for your help. Either way, you could end up to be just friends. This sort of situation has nothing to do with the dreaded friendszone.

The whole thing with friendszone is that it can happen in whatever situation. The important thing to look out for is the 'signs' a girl gives you. The way she talks in front of you, what she talks about in front of you, how she refers to you and such. But even then, you just keep an eye open for these things. You don't go and stress yourself trying to pick up on all the nitty-gritty details of slowly falling into the friendszone.

 

[Dude2Stud]

It don't find it wrong being Mr. Nice Guy in this case, sometimes you gotta help people for them to have a healthier life. If I was in your case, I wouldn't care being in the friend zone and I would worry about helping my friend get in a better position and mindset.

Just tell this guy that if she doesn't leave her alone you are going to kick his ass.

 

[Gonzalo]

Agree with KillaPetehog. When a "sane" woman (if such thing exists) starts going off into her problems, just say "is this something you want to solve, or is this just something you want to talk about?". If she says "solve" then just say "well, then ignore him" or some quick, short, clear cut answer. But if she IS a woman, she'll say she wants to talk about it, in which case just say "I'm better at solving. You should try talking to your girlfriends about this." Do it in a low key, tactful sort of way, and she'll get the message straight, that you are NOT one of her girlfriends. (I've read that tip somewhere, credit to whoever came with it first).

And if she DOES indeed have a sh1tload of problems, remember what Ross Jeffries says: don't get involved with women who have more problems than yourself. Makes sense to me.

G

 

[MightyMate]

If You use therapy well You maky score. But used just little worng puts You in FZ for ever!

 

[nighter]

Thanks! alot of, great advices.

I dont think iam in friendszone yet. She asks me when we gona see each other next time, after i had banged her 3-4 days ago, and i told her when i have time iam really busy at the moment.
I just felt some red flags, that we where going to friendszone when she started talking about her problems. But i don't think iam there yet.

But it feels that her IL are lower now, or is she testing my intresst? Because before she called me everyday and txt me.
Stuff like "I do everything for you, you are so wounderfull"
And when i met her she told me what do you whant me to do, i do anything for you, and this compilemt i like the most, even that she told me it when she was drunk, she told me "what do you do here with me, you can get anygirl you whant".

I have got a few girls before but never experienced someone express her IL with words like this girl. So i started to think is she really real or is this her game?.

Now she dosen't call so much anymore, and when i put my mind in her situation, is it because she belive i just use her? Because i call her when i when i whanted to ****, and else i have no time seeing her. Today is it valentinesday should i txt her an sms or not. What would be best in a PUA perspective.

And about this guy. I have never seen him. But one of my friends who has, says he is an wimp. Iam not even sure he knows that i exists. Anyway even if he is not a wimp i would't have any problem talk to him, because i have lifting weights hole my life. Ofcourse its always an bigger fish, but i had never been in a situation before that i should be scared. So i don't feel its a problem to talk to him. Its just that. She dosen't let me.

They have been together for like 4 years, and as it seams he got some mentaly issues after they breakup. So he is really suicidal. So thats why she have not tell him about me, or i can't talk to him because she belive he will kill himself then. Thats not just a story she tell me i know for sure they are not togehter anymore and i have heard he call her when i have been around.

 

[Q-Pid]

Ethnomethodologist is like the ultimate KBDJ. Heck even his screen name is based on philosophy.

I'm with Pete. Advice = bad. BUt if some dude is affecting your relationship with a girl then have "words" with him.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Man, I've become an emo. My DJ skills are on a completely different spectrum than yours. My teachings ARE KBDJ, they are based on ideas that are generated while I game. I've been rejected more this year than anybody, but only because I planned on it. I miss out on a party night only once a week. Every night I get wasted. I've had girls grabbing at me from my skills. Everything I have said is true, there hasn't been a single lie in my threads. I just put on a ruse to get you guys to respond differently.

Don't worry though, I've been making notes about the entho game. If your game is tight I promise my next lesson plan won't be so self embarrassing.