Don’t want a divorce but don’t want ONEitis either. I need the cure.

ThinkerG

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I’m new to this..first post. I posted this on another thread last night but I wanted the advice of themature members group aswell
Long story short.
I’m 27 in shape good-looking have been married for six years and have two children. I got married when I was 20 young and had my first child at 21 all with the same woman. When me and my wife first met it was instant attraction and chemistry we couldn’t leave each others side. We had children got married and throughout our marriage I was not the best husband. She’s was an amazing wife...loyal, hot, had my back at our lowest finacial point, great mother. I’m a great dad but I was controlling, unfaithful, had a wandering eye and didn’t know what it meant to have a real relationship. I do believe I would be the loyal husband I know I could be. I’m aware that my childhood played a part in my character but that is not an excuse nor can I blame that. it was all me. I took my life for granted. About a year ago I had confessed to my wife that I had slept with someone after I had told my wife I wanted to divorce because I couldn’t get the thought trying strange out of my mind. It was not an emotional think, just a random **** that I regret sincerely. It’s been about a year I’ve been trying to make amends with my wife and get her to work on our family and get our life back in order. I will admit I was very desperate times and when she told me she doesn’t love me anymore about a year ago I took it very hard and completely broke down. I have successfully read the rational male have became “red pilled” or trying at least. I had a very serious talk about a week ago and she has said that she just does not see me the same way anymore and she can’t believe all of the things that I’ve done to her especially being unfaithful...she wants to proceed with a divoce( but never brings it up) . We communicate, text, calls and in person about the kids and see each other all the time but it’s weird, and awkward and she’s very cold. She swears on her life that she is not seeing someone or even close to being interested in dating anyone. I know it’s a tough pill to swallow but I honestly believe her for the most part. I can’t help but want my family back, I’m a very close father to my children and will be in their lives as much as possible. I have so much jealousy and fear of her being with other men and yes I know that is a weakness that I need to overcome. I know this falls into one of the iron rules but I need advice. How should I move on? Should I keep fighting for my family and wife even after the constant rejection? ** I have no fear that I can’t find another woman, that is just the last thing from my mind right now and I don’t believe I need another woman to complete me, I have my own **** to focus on. I feel sick constantly, nervous, uneasy and it won’t go away. Thanks in advance
 

Bible_Belt

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Every day that she doesn't file the divorce papers and turn you in for child support is a victory for you, because you are probably going to get raped in court. Kiss half your income goodbye for the next 15 years or so.

Continuing to pursue her is pretty much pointless in a relationship sense, but maybe it is worth half your pay check to make her think that you still are. Moving on is the right thing to do, but don't let her know about it.
 

ThinkerG

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Every day that she doesn't file the divorce papers and turn you in for child support is a victory for you, because you are probably going to get raped in court. Kiss half your income goodbye for the next 15 years or so.

Continuing to pursue her is pretty much pointless in a relationship sense, but maybe it is worth half your pay check to make her think that you still are. Moving on is the right thing to do, but don't let her know about it.
Haha this is funny. This is living the beta life. I had her sign the papers for no spousal or child support. I’ll take care of my children no matter what a court says and I’ll take care of her too to make sure my kids are well taken care of.
 

Bible_Belt

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If you are in the US, the waiver of child support that she signed is revocable. Child support may not be waived in any state, unless it is part of a payment arrangement that gives more money to the kids, not less. If you paid a lawyer for that form, then you got scammed. If you wrote it yourself, then you simply have no idea what you are doing.
 

ThinkerG

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If you are in the US, the waiver of child support that she signed is revocable. Child support may not be waived in any state, unless it is part of a payment arrangement that gives more money to the kids, not less. If you paid a lawyer for that form, then you got scammed. If you wrote it yourself, then you simply have no idea what you are doing.
I live in a state (in the us) where they are very lenient with everything, gun control, divorce, abortion. I got the papers straight from the courthouse, paid 150 dollar filing fee, put non contested for child support or spousal and the divorce itself and boom, seven days later they declare you divorced. I am aware that any point in time she gets a wild hair up her ass she can go after child support and re open everything and potentially **** me over down the road till the kids are 18. I would hope we could avoid this at all costs and I will provide for them along the way like I said no matter what but you never know. I can only plan for the now..
 

lamath

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Haha this is funny. This is living the beta life. I had her sign the papers for no spousal or child support. I’ll take care of my children no matter what a court says and I’ll take care of her too to make sure my kids are well taken care of.
Supporting the kids is great, but supporting her not so much unless its needed for the kids.
Idk law in the US but i know if she get some money from you thats not for the kids, it might be hard after a while legally to stop sending her money.



Be careful to not mortgage your future, by giving her more than she needs if she cant support herself.
 

ThinkerG

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Supporting the kids is great, but supporting her not so much unless its needed for the kids.
Idk law in the US but i know if she get some money from you thats not for the kids, it might be hard after a while legally to stop sending her money.



Be careful to not mortgage your future, by giving her more than she needs if she cant support herself.
In a way I feel like I owe it to her. She’s always stuck by my side through every business and life decision. I wore the pants in the family and I made the decision that she would stay home with the children And I go out to work. Now that I’ve left her with nothing once I can afford to really set her up nice and also it’s for the kids sake as well then I believe I should do so. This will be pretty soon once I see a return on all my investments
 
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