Doesn't want to ruin the friendship

[devoncassidy]

So I've basically been in the friendzone with this girl for a year. She had a boyfriend when we first met (broke up late 09) and now she's hung up on another guy. We were chatting online and I basically told her how I feel about her. We work together later this week. Just wondering how should I act around her? Pretend nothing ever happened or address what was said? I'm leaving out a lot but wanted to spare you guys the novel.

 

[Iceberg]

Pretend it never happened. You want her to be your girl, she says no. What else could you possibly say? Besides, girls make lousy friends anyway.

 

[originaldj]

So I've basically been in the friendzone with this girl for a year. She had a boyfriend when we first met (broke up late 09) and now she's hung up on another guy. We were chatting online and I basically told her how I feel about her. We work together later this week. Just wondering how should I act around her? Pretend nothing ever happened or address what was said? I'm leaving out a lot but wanted to spare you guys the novel.

Just remember you don't her an explanation or your friendship. I am pretty much in the same situation, where I was told she didn't want to ruin the friendship, and at first I was cool with that.

But then I realized that me staying friends with her did absolutely nothing for me and was just a favour for her at the expense of my sufferring. I have enough friends and don't need to be tormented by some chick.

So I am not saying do what I did, just think about what is best for you and leave her out of the equation when you decide.

 

[devoncassidy]

Honestly, I still want her. I think it would be best to play it cool and only talk about it if she brings it up. Just need second opinions or maybe advice on how to increase her attraction towards me. Logically, I'm her best choice (not how women work I know) because she's already been screwed over by him and other guys (long story). I REALLY think the other guy is gay. He was just WAY too flamboyant when I saw him at school (me and him are in college, she just graduated HS).

 

[YoungHOV]

she just graduated HS).

Don't even waste your time.

 

[sigma335]

spin more plates you are putting her on a pedestal because you are not talking/dating other women.

you work together? date other girls to help you get over your oneitis!

 

[CaptainJ]

Oh man...

Ok, this is how you should act around her: do whatever the fvck you want and stop caring what she thinks, because you're never going to taste her poonani. Just don't humiliate yourself again.

The main thing you need to do is stop watching Friends and stop gushing out your emotions and telling girls "how you feel", especially on an online messenger. That sh1t doesn't work and just sabotages you forever, trust me, I've been there. You've got a long way to go my friend, so start reading the DJ bible.

NEVER TELL GIRLS HOW YOU FEEL! You kill any mystery and the chase. SHOW GIRLS YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THEM, DONT TELL THEM, so use Kino, sexuality, be a good listener etc.

Forget about this girl, you've been friendzoned long ago, no you are not the best option for her either, because you've acted like a pvssy, and girls don't like pvssys.

Most importantly read the DJ bible, because you don't understand basic concepts. Sorry for being harsh, but you need to get the blunt lesson from this, and i don't like to sugar the pill.

 

[NO MA'AM]

Devon,
It seems to me the ONLY opportunity you had to get out of the friendzone was lost somewhere between the time you first met her and the time she started getting involved with the new guy she is interested in now. Without knowing the particulars, I cannot determine exactly WHEN this happened. However, something you said indicates most definitely WHY this happened:

We were chatting online and I basically told her how I feel about her.

You have been in the friendzone because you made the EXACT SAME MISTAKE nearly 95% of guys who are new to this site make.

You first pursued a good friendship instead of an intimate relationship. With women, you must make your true intentions known pretty much at the time you meet them.

Once a man is viewed by a woman as a good friend, it is very rare that she could ever see him as a boyfriend or a lover.

Honestly, I still want her. I think it would be best to play it cool and only talk about it if she brings it up. Just need second opinions or maybe advice on how to increase her attraction towards me. Logically, I'm her best choice (not how women work I know) because she's already been screwed over by him and other guys (long story). I REALLY think the other guy is gay. He was just WAY too flamboyant when I saw him at school (me and him are in college, she just graduated HS).

You are suffering from ONEITIS. Everything you say here PLUS the fact you produced your logical conclusions as evidence for why you are her best choice PROVE YOU HAVE ONEITIS.

What should you do now? First, and this will be very difficult for you right now, FORGET ABOUT HER BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHANCE WITH HER. Second, accept your friendship status. Third, don't bring up the subject of the online conversation. If she brings it up, say something like, "I always do stuff like that when I get drunk" or make up some other bs excuse. It won't hurt your chances with her, after all, you can't hurt what doesn't exist

 

[backbreaker]

man you have oneitis something bad.

i would live in the dj bible section if i were you for the next 3 months.

 

[Captain]

Jesus buddy, read the DJ Bible. Then again. And again. Then go out and APPLY.

 

[teddy240]

Dont do it! Stop trying with this chick! Honestly, if you guys do ever date, she will just end that and say she doesnt want to lose you as a friend. And do you really want to be the guy that gets to listen to her whine and complain about the other guys that are fvcking her and that she just wants to meet a "nice guy"? This is what a girl means when she wants a nice guy, she really means a nice LOOKING guy, whether he treats her good or like sh!t.

 

[runner83]

You've been nexted. Move on to other girls.

And by the way, in case you didn't know already, when a girl says "she doesn't want to ruin the friendship", she is not really friends with you.

Actually, she plans to use you as the guy she can spew all her emotional problems onto, while f*cking some hot guy.

Personally, in my opinion, while girls can be entertaining, in the end, they are good for one thing - f*cking.

Take the advice offered here, read the DJ bible, and straighten yourself out.