Does sleeping around decrease your value?

[SoldMySoul]

Something I am faced with right now! I am healed from having my heartbroken and being an AFC, but now I am faced with women wanting to get horizontal. Most of these women have significant others in their lives.

Lets hear it, does spinning plates, sleeping around or whatever you want to call it lower your value? I want the pros and cons of both sides.

I have never really been a player of sorts and had my share of women in my lifetime, but I am conflicted on what is right. I owe none of these women anything, but I have always been sort of an one women kind of guy.

What do you guys think? To sleep around or not? I am starting to think why not? I am not married or engaged with any of them, nor is any of it serious. Seems there are a multitude of broads out there that do not mind cheating on their mates.

 

[Luthor Rex]

It could decrease your value if women come to see you as a heartless rake / player.

It could decrease your value if you get an STD and word gets out.

It could decrease your value if other men find out you're doing it to their g/f's (you mentioned most of these women had S.O.'s).

Really it comes down to how you do it, but from your post I'd say the above three things are potential problem spots.

 

[Colossus]

What do you guys think? To sleep around or not? I am starting to think why not? I am not married or engaged with any of them, nor is any of it serious. Seems there are a multitude of broads out there that do not mind cheating on their mates.

Be careful with that reasoning.

You'll see a lot of polarity regarding sleeping with attached women. There's the mercenary mentality--hit it and quit, let them sort out the wreckage, and there's the Man of Honor mentality---dont meddle in another man's marriage bed.

I'm no saint, but I do know 'secret' things have a way of making themselves known in this world. If you are going to sleep with attached women be prepared for any ensuing consequences.

Plus--is that the kind of man you want to be? The guy who knowingly puts his d!ck in someone else's business? I think it does decrease your value. How can you revile some woman for cheating on you when you are an active participant in some other broken heart, broken family, or broken marriage?

Dont buy the "they brought it on themselves" line. That's a cop-out for cowards who want to fvck all the world's pussie and not be accountable for any aftermath.

 

[Duffdog]

Dont buy the "they brought it on themselves" line. That's a cop-out for cowards who want to fvck all the world's pussie and not be accountable for any aftermath.

Many in the world would disagree with that statement. Including me. What you are saying in not so many words is that females had no choice in the matter. The women were out one day and accidentally slipped and landed on some guys d1ck and now its the guys fault, right?

It is not the guys fault.

People create problems for themselves, problems do not actively seek out recipients. I can see that you have a humanitarian viewpoint on life which defaults your conclusions toward the preservation of values and lives. Fortunately for me, I don't. If people suck at life, they need to die-- there should be no safety net for those who create problems for themselves. Something about the fittest and their survival.

 

[speed dawg]

Just like anything else, practice responsibility. Drugs, alcohol, sex, diet, etc. The key is knowing the consequences and dealing with them. It's nobody else's business what you do on your own time. Now, obviously you can't break the law, so don't nitpick my post to the point to where you don't see why I'm trying to convey. You control your life, don't let the things in your life control you.

If fvckng 28 prostitutes in one month is your particular brand of vodka, then why does it lower your perceived value if no one knows about it? I'm not condoning it by any means, but do you catch my drift?

Unless you are talking about your own self-value, and in that case you are the only one who can determine that.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Very interesting view points indeed. I have been the other man quite by accident and I did not like how it all transpired. I was lied to and because I really liked this one, I believed her.

I can see the reasoning about not getting in another man's business. However, I also see if all is kept quiet, then who will know? Sounds like I should be selective about who I get busy with.

This one has a man she lives with and been with him like 3 years. She told me last night that she wanted me. I at least gave her an out and said, "I want you to think about things carefully before you jump. I want you to not feel guilty for doing this to your man." She responded, " I have wanted you for a long time and because he works out of town a lot I am alone."

Now I would not want to be out of town on business and my woman be getting busy with another man. At least I am trying to be admirable about it. I really do not think I am going to take her up on her offer.

 

[speed dawg]

Speaking of the getting with another man's girl topic, I see it this way. If you like a certain woman, pursue her. If she tells you she's attached (as in married/having a real significant other, or telling you she "wants" you, NOT as in the "I have a boyfriend" shield in a bar pickup), then I back up and let her know that it's all on her terms if she wants to fvck. If she comes to me and wants it, then I'll give it to her. But I won't actively pursue a taken woman. Cheaters are lower than dirt to me. They don't deserve the guy they're with, and they don't deserve my effort or attention, unless they are naked. In that case, I will willingly dump the contents of my testicles on their faces. They should probably be used to it anyway.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Speaking of the getting with another man's girl topic, I see it this way. If you like a certain woman, pursue her. If she tells you she's attached (as in married/having a real significant other, or telling you she "wants" you, NOT as in the "I have a boyfriend" shield in a bar pickup), then I back up and let her know that it's all on her terms if she wants to fvck. If she comes to me and wants it, then I'll give it to her. But I won't actively pursue a taken woman. Cheaters are lower than dirt to me. They don't deserve the guy they're with, and they don't deserve my effort or attention, unless they are naked. In that case, I will willingly dump the contents of my testicles on their faces. They should probably be used to it anyway.

One thing is for damn sure. I did no pursuing of her. I see your point and I guess the spill she was given by was more than acceptable. She reminds me of my ex wife and fairly attractive. Certainly no beauty queen. I see your point though.

 

[Colossus]

Many in the world would disagree with that statement. Including me. What you are saying in not so many words is that females had no choice in the matter. The women were out one day and accidentally slipped and landed on some guys d1ck and now its the guys fault, right?

Not true. You interpreted it as such. What I am saying is that while the female in question was the one seeking to cheat on her S.O., the other guy, if cognizant of her situation, has a part to own. That doesnt necessarily mean he is personally responsible for her outcome, but he enabled her in that instance--- something no one wants their woman doing to them.

Yeah I know, if she doesnt get it from you or whoever it will be someone else. But then it's completely her problem, not yours. Your slate remains clean.

 

[vitor]

At all possiable avoid this woman. I mean sure you could sleep with her and have a great time. BUT.....
There is a lot of drama and BS than can come with it. Do you want some other guy wanting to fight you, talk to you or do something even worse to you. IF she breaks up with him does she know that she is just a sex thing and nothing more, heaven forbid she dumps him for you when you just wanted to hit it.

Maybe sleep with her once or twice but there is a lot of drama attached to this woman, not worth it in my eyes..

 

[Warrior74]

I have a 21 year old who's boyfriend is off in grad school....she follows me around all day at work. If she wasn't an intern, I'd probably hit it, boyfriend or no. No fishing off the company pier for me though. I guess I'm more afraid of loosing my job than of dealing with her boyfriend who is off across the country. At least I'm honest with myself about it.

 

[Mr. Me]

When I was much younger, I thought nothing of screwing married women. After some near scrapes and personal growth, I'd still like to bang some married women, yet I think there are, in being a man, some values more important then getting an itch scratched. What is a man?

The woman may be the one that decides to cheat, but I'm still considered guilty as an accomplice in the crime even if I'm only the driver of the get away car and not the actual bank robber.

Having sex with multiple "free agent" partners on a NSA basis... hey, we're all grown ups. As long as you're not misrepresenting yourself to them as if they're the only ones and misleading them, attaining your goals by deception because you don't have the ability or balls to do it for real. Doesn't mean they need to know details, just that you're both free agents, and so, they have the choice to be in or out. Or ideally, in and out and in and out and in and out and...

And that way, you can walk the less traveled road with both heads held proudly high.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sold My Soul,
As the practicalities that govern living sensibly change,then so do any societies mores......Generally speaking sleeping with other guys ladies is a bit stupid....Certainly no less healthy in a physical sense than unattached females but a little degrading...Most of us have done it,but not many of us are proud about it....in a small town not very smart,in the big smoke only marginally more so....I think of my own Dancing scene,where the doings of the various philanderers,liven up the gossip....Strangely living life in the Shadows,looking up when someone enters the Restuarant,never knowing when there will be a tap on the shoulder or someone waiting for you in the Carpark,gives one a sneaky look,the worst part of course is when they Rock up at your door at seven in the Morning tears in their eyes and a suitcase in their hands....As to reputation,the greater scorn seems reserved for Ladies who step outside the accepted moral code,paradoxically only surpassed when it is the Older Man who seduces a young and naive girl,he will really cop it....Kipling assures us that when the Memsahibs retreated from Indias heat to the Hill Stations,a certain amount of laxity was shown the Older more experienced married women who all had their favourite young Subalterns,but No one touched the young girls...
Now as to being a Player?yeah.....Well...I think it can only enhance your standing with the more adventurous Ladies,everyone loves a Rogue Don't they?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

but I am conflicted on what is right.

Choose solid goals for your life that are important to you. For your own reasons. Whatever they are. According to your values, and nobody else's.

What moves you closer to them is right.
What moves you away is wrong.

 

[STR8UP]

Welcome to the world of women. When you get a peek into the seedy underbelly it's hard to look at them the same again.

Does sleeping around decrease your value?

Have you ever heard of "competition anxiety"? It's one of the most powerful tools in the DJ's toolbox. And what brings out this anxiety in a woman? The idea that she might not be the only woman who wants you or has access to you.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Welcome to the world of women. When you get a peek into the seedy underbelly it's hard to look at them the same again.

Does sleeping around decrease your value?

Have you ever heard of "competition anxiety"? It's one of the most powerful tools in the DJ's toolbox. And what brings out this anxiety in a woman? The idea that she might not be the only woman who wants you or has access to you.

I like that! How have you been? I always said I would not deal with woman that are too young and I also have a 21 year old that is trying to step up her game. I told her the other day, " I am old enough to be your dad." She then started trying to qualify herself to me by saying I like older men. I may give her a chance as she is quite cute and has a booming ass body!

 

[Jeffst1980]

Having tangible options is what ups your value. You don't need to be sleeping around, you just need to communicate the fact that you could.

The more pressing matter: If you sleep with a man's live-in girlfriend, you might as well assume that he will eventually find out. And, despite your little heart to heart with her, she WILL ultimately put the blame on you. I hope for your sake he doesn't have a temper...

Seriously, this is very dangerous territory. Letting some girl in a dissatisfied relationship put you in the line of fire b/c she's too chicken to dump him is just another version of playing cap'n save-a-ho.

 

[NewMan]

It have have both effects.

I think the more important point - is how you react to it. Do you flaunt the fact that you are banging these women? or do you keep tight lipped?

i think the later will get you further.

My buddy did the former - and his well dried.

 

[Mr. Me]

Welcome to the world of women. When you get a peek into the seedy underbelly it's hard to look at them the same again...

...Coming up next, on NBC Dateline.