Does a TRUE DJ fear falling in love?

[laydee1]

Hi

I'm really into a guy who claims to be a "true DJ". He has a GF but it isn't serious and he DJs with other women behind her back.

We used to be kinda friendly, kinda flirty, have a good laugh with mates and he told me about his GF as well as his DJing lifestyle...but even before I found this site, I guess I was more of a DJ than he is - lots of interests, self esteem, confidence, popular.

So more recently, we got really close - had a really intimate discussion about life and stuff - without actually talking about anything to do with each other though sometimes he drops hints.

Since then, he has gone REALLY cold and snappy with me - and I THINK it is because he knows how good we could be together and possibly fears he would have to give up the DJing lifestyle with other women (which isn't true - I'm not bothered as long as he doesn't lie to me)

This happened to my last FB - he was in a relationship and then I met his main GF and from that point he was really nasty. He was like that for months however nice I was to him and I couldn't work out why - and then I realised he wanted me to be nasty back as that would justify staying with the other girl. From this point, I was even nicer to him because I believe he still wanted me and didn't want him to make me the excuse that our relationship failed!

However, there was no obvious trigger that made him suddenly nice to me again and got us back together - he told me that I was right about his feelings but he would never tell me what made him change his mind and get back together with me....but being that he hurt me so much during his angry period, I ended up leaving him after a while anyway (and he's still with the other girl but seems really unhappy - his fault right?)

I don't understand why these guys would change when I've just got to know them intimately.
I BELIEVE it is because they are afraid of loving me and having me reject them - so they reject me!
If any of you guys out there have ever done this to a girl, can you say why? - or if there is ANYTHING the girl can do to bring you out of it before you completely destroy her?

Thanks!

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. why don't you get a plane ticket to Sacramento Cali and I will put that dedication of yours too work.
2. you would want a known cheater?
3. you are proof that the whole philosophy does work.
4. the other girls on this site are going to hate you babygirl.

 

[laydee1]

1. Whilst I'm SURE you're worth it and could give me the time of my life - it's a bit far...and I'm currently a little distracted asyou can imagine.

2. Known cheater? I only consider it cheating if he lies to me. If he does what he does and tells me afterwards, I have no problem. Every guy "looks" - it's biological fact. Why get hung up about it?

3. So him being angry because I'm better at his game than he is - is part of his plan?? It's not part of my plan - anything for a quiet life. Any ideas? Does he need to know that he is the prize or something?

4. Why? Because of your "point 1"?
Plus I'm probably a LOT older than them...aren't they all about 14?

 

[Cocoon]

no their 50 year old gay men.... lol jk. im sorry but he is not a dj, he mentioned the game, tried to build himself up with your thought of a true dj, to him it may mean something completley different. like maybe d1ck juice or something, lmao, if you think you have more play then him, then since your a girl your intuition is probably right...

 

[dionysius_d]

entering.

Its bad when we can't see our own "patterns".

Why are you attracted to men who have GF's and see you as another interest??

Yes, of course some of these types of guys will get snappy when you get intimate and pose a threat to the house of cards they have set up!

You had an intimate encounter or two, and it worked, however they then realized that you are a threat to their world. Later when you withdrew, the threat was gone.. and they became "nice" once more.

No, a true DJ will not be afraid of love.. or any feeling. However, an average man will fear when his house built on sand is threatened.

Find someone who will not be afraid when you enter his world.. better still, if you are invited.