Do you mess with women your not that in to?

[aron77]

I'm 35 years old and honeslty I'm not that experienced with women which really kills me when pursuing women I'm in to but it isn't really for a lack of opportunities, more of lesser opportunities with women who are both attractive inside and out. I've had my share of ugly women throwing themselves at me but the other side is the I've had some pretty attractive women throwing themselves at me, they just had something wrong with them so I passed. My mantra has always been that I don't want aids or child support or drama so I don't mess with messed up chicks. But I kind of regret it.

Here are two examples of chicks I was very attracted to but passed on at a previous job. One girl seemed nice and was really cute but she had 3 kids. I started talking to her on breaks here and there and she was ready to put it on me. First she was just extra friendly and then when I didn't make a move she went for broke at a work event asking me if I knew what else whipped cream was good for. She had me at a loss for words so she followed up asking me if I know what she is talking about. I was really tempted but passed cuz I don't want a bunch of drama and I'd say she was someone not making alot of good decisions. The other one was sexy as hell and gave me that look like lookng me up and down, about had me pitching a tent, but she was a skank, I knew so much about her sex life just by having a cubicle near hers. I like not having aids so I didn't mess with her.

It seems like a double edge sword to me in that if I messed with these chicks I either get caught up with the wrong girl or if I just mess with them then the next thing I know my car is keyed and I'm dealing with a bunch of bs cuz the perfect recipe to get them to fall is to not be that interested but on the other hand I'd probably have more confidence with women if I had some fun with them. This is something I've always been conflicted about cuz at this point when I do find a decent girl except for some good things I've learned here I'm really at best a work in progress.

 

[Le killeur]

Its 1/3 excuse-making that stops you from pursuing, 1/3 guilt for leading chicks on, and 1/3 what you're saying here(buyers remorse). Up to you to determine which is the dominant impulse in each situation.

Hey pair, you just summed up the way i screw up with girls perfectly, i was struggling to phrase it, Any advice on how to overcome this? nut up and shut up?

 

[bukowski_merit]

I'm 35 years old and honeslty I'm not that experienced with women

Do you want to fix this or do you want to make every damn excuse you can think of to not become more experienced with women?

One girl seemed nice and was really cute but she had 3 kids. I started talking to her on breaks here and there and she was ready to put it on me. First she was just extra friendly and then when I didn't make a move she went for broke at a work event asking me if I knew what else whipped cream was good for. She had me at a loss for words so she followed up asking me if I know what she is talking about. I was really tempted but passed cuz I don't want a bunch of drama and I'd say she was someone not making alot of good decisions.

I have a buddy like you. He's a DJ (the king that plays music) and he only has sex about once a year. This is not because he lacks opportunity, it's because he's always finding reasons NOT to like women. He'll say something like, "She was hot and she was all over me, but she was wearing a short skirt and she was in the club rubbing on me... ..." Then there's always the church like conclusion... "so i knew she was a s!ut."....

And the rest of his untold story is, "So i went home and jerked off to a bigger s!ut on a cam."

I can't fix him, and I doubt that any of us can fix you.

It's mostly about how you were raised and your major Madonna/wh@re complex.

Some guys can make that work for them, but you wouldn't be making this thread if you were one of those guys.

The other one was sexy as hell and gave me that look like lookng me up and down, about had me pitching a tent, but she was a skank, I knew so much about her sex life just by having a cubicle near hers. I like not having aids so I didn't mess with her.

I don't even know where to start with this. Just so you'll never want to have sex again: Most attractive women lead very fruitful/wild sex lives at some point in their life; some just hide it better than others.

It seems like a double edge sword to me in that if I messed with these chicks I either get caught up with the wrong girl or if I just mess with them then the next thing I know my car is keyed and I'm dealing with a bunch of bs

Has this happened in your life? I've slept with a lot of women, and have encountered minimal amount of drama. The fact that you're scared of a woman keying your car is baffling to me, especially since you're so inexperienced. You can't live life avoiding alleys, or you'll never be able to walk down the street! And if you can't walk down the street - you can't get anywhere.

cuz the perfect recipe to get them to fall is to not be that interested

This is your truth! You don't want to get involved with women because of all this... It's all fear based. Solution is to not be scared and just doing it.

but on the other hand I'd probably have more confidence with women if I had some fun with them.

YES! There is no doubt in my mind that gaining experience with women is the key to confidence.

When I was 19ish, I worked at a place and had this HUGE crush on this girl there. She knew it, and I think she "kind of" liked me, but she was used to dealing with bad boys, so I stood no chance.

About 2 years ago, we had a reunion of sorts for all of us who used to work together and she showed up! Within one hour of talking to her - I had her eating out of the palm of my hand, and I fvcked her!

This didn't occur because of anything I learned anywhere. This occured because I had absolute confidence when dealing with women!

This is something I've always been conflicted about cuz at this point when I do find a decent girl except for some good things I've learned here I'm really at best a work in progress.

Just have fun with women until you find the one who you have the most fun with.


Or....


Make a million excuses as to why you went home alone.

 

[NewAndImproved]

You prefer fantasy over reality. I'm guilty of this, too -- but I'm working on it. Like others have said, it's just a whole lot of excuse-making. Fact of the matter is, dating and hooking up is no big deal. No woman is perfect, but you'll never know if there's a good match until you get out there.

 

[Plutoman]

I didn't before, but now I do.

There has to be physical attraction - but sometimes there's very little else. Prior to ~4 months ago I would have not pursued them. Now I do for experience's sake, and for the options, the plates.

Makes it easier to handle the girls I like when I know there's other women that are attractive to be around. The more I try and meet and get to know women, the more I'll be able to screen and find out the qualities I enjoy the most - and the more like I am to find a girl that isn't a complete slut (I meet women everywhere - and the more I know in general, the more confident I am, the easier it will be to get the one girl I genuinely like).

 

[pdx1138]

You know what OP, you dodged bullets on those two women and you and i both know THE ONLY REASON you are regretting it now is either lack of options or you're in a dry spell.

You did the correct action and I would have done the same.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Sometimes a HB6 can make it so easy and give so many sexy cues,that it's hard to refuse a yearning cawksucker... if she's got a nice smile, of course.

 

[Voice]

When I was younger and more inexperienced I lowered my standards sometimes just for the experience. I almost regret it but I did get a lot of valuable experience. Plus I'll never forget the legendary BJ I got from a fat sorority chick a few years back. It was one of those things you just don't forget.