Do you have this habit?

[david90]

Today I was pumped to do some approaches because I chickened out so bad yesterday. Guess what? Today I chickened out again and now i'm pumped again whle on sosuave and saying to myself that tomorrow is another day. I've been in this loop for months now. I just don't learn.

 

[DeathDealer]

No I disagree. You are learning - something else is in the way that you gotta get rid of... what is that something?

 

[Climax]

TAKE ACTION! THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE!!

Originally posted by david90
Today I was pumped to do some approaches because I chickened out so bad yesterday. Guess what? Today I chickened out again and now i'm pumped again whle on sosuave and saying to myself that tomorrow is another day. I've been in this loop for months now. I just don't learn.

The thing that you are lacking is confidence and in order to get to the point that approaching girls is as easy as going up to your best buddy and starting up a convo, is practice.

So what you need to do is just go up to the girl with the mind-set that u are GOING to mess up and get rejected, and the 1st few times u are very likely too because u will be nervous and you wont know exactly what to do/say etc... But u HAVE to start somewhere!

Now if you are really as shy/nervous or wateva as u SAY u are, then maybe a little alchohol confidence boost is in need here... So if you feel that you are not ging to be able to approach when u are 100% sober, then have a drink or 2 before you go on your "mision"... and then when u are ok with doing it several times when u are "out of it/a little drunk", then u can try doing it when u are 100% sober.

You need to pull yourself togeather and go out there and do what u need to do, and APPROACH the b!tches!

You arent going to live forever, and soon u WILL be old and ugly, and soon you wont even have the CHOICE to approach young attractive girls anymore, you dont have any time to waste, u have already wasted a few months of your life, dont add to it!

Think about it this way... If you get rejected or wateva, you prob wont ever see that girl again, and plus... 1 day when u are dead, you think u will care if u got rejected 1 time in your life while u were alive, or 100 times? NO! Its YOUR life, now get out there and make the most of it! U get rejected, WHO CARES, move along, there are millions of girls out there up for grabs, and the ones that arent interested, well, ITS THEIR LOSS!!

Now would you please get dressed, go get yourself a drink or 2, phone some buddies up, and GET OUT THERE and prove to yourself AND to the world that you CAN do it, its YOUr life, and if you out your mind to doing something, u CAN do it!

You will HAVE to start sometime, unless you're planning on NEVER approaching? So stop delaying the enevitable and GET OUT THERE!


Laterz....

 

[Disconnect]

Know what helps? It's the same thing that gets you to jump off the plane with a chute, or ski down that double diamond slope, all the way knowing there is no going back, and no stopping. Being able to put yourself in hands of fate. It's called nuts.

I'm a reckless person, and find that it helps in approaches. I just don't let myself think about outcomes - I do it later, AFTER I jump. Cause then, once it's done, I know there's no reversing what happened.

 

[Climax]

Nice way of putting it...

Originally posted by Disconnect
Know what helps? It's the same thing that gets you to jump off the plane with a chute, or ski down that double diamond slope, all the way knowing there is no going back, and no stopping. Being able to put yourself in hands of fate. It's called nuts.

I'm a reckless person, and find that it helps in approaches. I just don't let myself think about outcomes - I do it later, AFTER I jump. Cause then, once it's done, I know there's no reversing what happened.

That is a rather good way of putting it.. and yes, its also a rather good way of going about approaching... nice post Disconnect.

1st DO, THEN analyze.


Laterz...

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by david90
Today I was pumped to do some approaches because I chickened out so bad yesterday. Guess what? Today I chickened out again and now i'm pumped again whle on sosuave and saying to myself that tomorrow is another day. I've been in this loop for months now. I just don't learn.

I get this. I have my good days and my bad days with it. But I am conscious of it. Confidence is everything. It can come down to not having worked out enough, little sleep, or just an all around bad day. You can't be 'ON' and playing the game 24/7, you'd never get any work done.

 

[Royal Elite]

Once you grasp widom and understand being an excellent person is the main focus you wont waste your time trying to improve your game and therefore you will no longer have off days. An excellent person says things in a way to make others around them feel at ease, comfortable and basically good about themselves. Once this becomes your focus, and you start doing this with everybody, it will be no different to do this with a girl you like. Remember your words create your universe. You always have at least two choices. You can choose to say everything on your mind even though it will offend people, or you can choose to keep your negative thoughts to yourself and speak things to make those around you like you (you create others perception of you). This is the secret behind any charming/charismatic person. They choose to say the right things. You have no clue what they are really thinking, but when you are receiving a message you dont care what the sender is thinking only what they do/say. Only the sender puts more emphasis on his thoughts instead of what they do/say (self conscious). Its really ez once you choose to be an excellent person all the time versus some of the time.

 

[Climax]

Re: Re: Do you have this habit?

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
I get this. I have my good days and my bad days with it. But I am conscious of it. Confidence is everything. It can come down to not having worked out enough, little sleep, or just an all around bad day. You can't be 'ON' and playing the game 24/7, you'd never get any work done.

In the distant past i use to have those "bad days" , but in the recent past i have not had any of those "bad days"... I'm always game The last time i had a "bad day" was the time when i was under the influence of some afc friends, but that was a long time ago.... So what i am trying to say, is that the more u practice, the less of those "bad days" u will have, untill enevtually it will become 1st nature for you to be a dj and always "be game". But 1 thing that is true about what u said, and thats that lack of sleep etc does tensd to "unsharpen" your skill/behaviour etc.


Laterz...

 

[Cremasta]

The whole point of this site is to learn how to be better with women and make it part of your personality, make it instinctive.

Stop thinking of it in terms of 'doing an approach', it sounds like you are going through a procedure manual... like you are going to work.

When you see a HB, don't think of doing an 'approach' on her. Just think "Hmm... she's nice I'd like to talk to her".

 

[xblitz44x]

The problem isn't that you don't have enough practice. The problem is that you view 'talking to women' in the same light as skiing a black diamond, or jumping from a friggin' airplane. At some point in time you made up your mind that talking to women poses some threat, or risk to you and ever since then (especially since you're following this site), you've been solidifying that instead of realizing how ridiculous that really is.

You talk to women like you talk to a friend, or an old lady at the grocery store. It's just conversation. And if you think there is something more involved, then you might want to begin your fix there. If not, then from now on you're going to constantly be haunted by your fear of possible rejection. Contrary to popular belief on this site, 'practice' doesn't remove the fear of rejection.

Practice does not equal confidence. This can be proven by just looking at some of these guys' posts. If they are rejected, they lose confidence, if they are 'successful' they "get" confident. But a rejection after that throws that "confidence" out the window. That's not true confidence. That's an ego boost from temporary success. The only way to truly free yourself from your own fears is to go back and figure out when you decided that talking to women must be placed under the same catagory as extreme sports. It's JUST conversation

Blitz

 

[david90]

this site sometime can be contradicting.

 

[Andromax]

this site sometime can be contradicting.

The site, no. The posters, yes, and often.


Understand The System, and be able to weed through the BS.

 

[alphawolfx]

when you hesistate, take a deep breath, and just say "f.uck it" and go in

or have a friend nearby who can eitehr literally push you physically into the set if you don't go, or make a bet or something.