Do Women Take On New Relationships as a Reaction?

[Desdinova]

This has been going through my mind lately, and it mostly ties in with how women lose that one guy at the top of their high score list....

When these women get into a relationship with a new man, are they doing it solely as a reaction to the success their ex is having in his new relationship? Are they worried about being lonely while their ex is enjoying companionship? Do they settle with a guy they mildly like just for the sake of appearing to have as good of a life or even a better one than their ex?

What are your thoughts?

 

[Milano]

I think they just choose the path that is best for their ego at the time, and the more pretty, the bigger the ego ofc. When these pretty girls start out fuking around in their prime with a few bad boys, its almost the only time they have real raw feelings so they can get hurt and obsessed over men much more than later, hence your theory. They always meet older guys when they are young, and its always the guys that are bad boys at school. Its a vulnurable position. We can all remember how much more powerful a person is who is just a few years older than us at school.

A pretty girl I recently "dated" (might post that story later) needed 5 years to get over a guy SHE dumped and a week later wanted back but couldnt get him. Its absurd to hear a stone hearted woman talk about some random teenage guy from ages ago she has barely just recovered from that SHE dumped. Anyway, she met another guy as a rebound and stuck with him for 7 years until she met me this summer, and cheated on him ofc because he was desperate, boring and needy like most men, she told me, except he was working towards a great career and a good salary.

Im sure they do settle with guys they mildly like at times, but so will a man. It really doesnt matter, what a man needs to think about is to gain enough experience so that he can read interest level and understand them. If she is really hung up on someone else, she will give us less. Its up to us to decide if the relationship is good enough or not, or we find another one.

As I learned from my sister, there is ALWAYS another guy on the side trying to get in if she is pretty. They might stop only when the woman is pregnant, its crazy. We just have to live with this fact, and not invest so much that we let these thoughts grow into jealousy.

Life is just like an Amazon documentary, its BRUTAL, almost too ugly to fathom. And the weak, specially the mentally weak, will lose. We just cant care that much about women, its about ourselves. Numbers game, numbers game, numbers game. Its a grind, and nothing personal.

 

[user43770]

Most women hate being single; most men can't stand going without sex. There is an evolutionary drive here, for sure, but a lot of it is ego driven, too.

 

[sazc]

I dont think there is a simple 'yes' or 'no' answer to your question but I do believe that, when you understand that a woman has a history of rebounding quickly into the next relationship, you are dealing with a female that has some cluster of self esteem/self image issues. The exact cluster probably varies from female to female, which is why the answer to your question is both yes and no.

More importantly, is that you use the knowledge you have of the female, to understand that this behavior isn't cognitively sound, and you screen. Understand if you give your time to a female who isn't fickle about the men she chooses for a LTR, there are going to be consequences on some level. Ask yourself, are you willing to risk it. Then REMIND yourself that, if you choose to risk it, you have to have one foot out the door at all times.

@Milano dispensed some great wisdom in his post. I snipped it here:
It really doesnt matter, what a man needs to think about is to gain enough experience so that he can read interest level and understand them. If she is really hung up on someone else, she will give us less. Its up to us to decide if the relationship is good enough or not, or we find another one

 

[zekko]

I think women just see getting back out there as the healthy thing to do, and her girlfriends are probably encouraging her to do it too. As has been noted, they likely have plenty of opportunities.

 

[btownbuck2012]

This has been going through my mind lately, and it mostly ties in with how women lose that one guy at the top of their high score list....

When these women get into a relationship with a new man, are they doing it solely as a reaction to the success their ex is having in his new relationship? Are they worried about being lonely while their ex is enjoying companionship? Do they settle with a guy they mildly like just for the sake of appearing to have as good of a life or even a better one than their ex?

What are your thoughts?

In my opinion that is absolutely what they do. So many women just want to have a man so they can portray that outward image to the rest of the world. "I'm in a relationship, I'm normal". etc. Especially as they get older. It's important to not take all that as face value though, there's alot of f*cked up stuff going on in these 'show' type of relationships (cheating, resentment, apathy, etc.)

 

[btownbuck2012]

As I learned from my sister, there is ALWAYS another guy on the side trying to get in if she is pretty. They might stop only when the woman is pregnant, its crazy. We just have to live with this fact, and not invest so much that we let these thoughts grow into jealousy.

Life is just like an Amazon documentary, its BRUTAL, almost too ugly to fathom. And the weak, specially the mentally weak, will lose. We just cant care that much about women, its about ourselves. Numbers game, numbers game, numbers game. Its a grind, and nothing personal.

+1

VERY solid advice right here.

 

[speed dawg]

Most women hate being single; most men can't stand going without sex. There is an evolutionary drive here, for sure, but a lot of it is ego driven, too.

Older I get, the more I see this. It's almost like we are slaves to the sh*t. Without any conquering of these instincts, we are reduced to animals.

 

[BeExcellent]

Lots of good wisdom in this thread. Like sazc I think it varies on an individual level. I don't have anybody sitting at the top of my high score list. I really don't. The men I've known had their attributes and their flaws.

I'm not pining away for any one of them although I have a fondness for each of them for specific reasons.

So I'm open to meeting people. Now of course there is a criteria I apply to men I meet. If they fail on too many of my criteria I rule them out and keep my options open.

My father taught me long ago about "opportunity costs". Basically if you lock yourself into one option, what other potential options have you closed off in the process? I don't expect perfection, but there is a constellation of things I look for that suits me or else why be in a relationship?

Having said that I'm pleased to spend time with a man who meets most of my criteria.

I don't know if other women think about it like I do. I don't know if that's good, bad or indifferent either but it's worked well for me most of the time. I couple that with enjoyment of the moment in the company I choose to keep and I find I'm happy doing that.

When I've met men who I really was drawn to I've really enjoyed them, loved them, appreciated them as the case may be.

But pine for one guy on top of some list? Nope.

 

[AJ84]

I like that concept of ' opportunity costs'. I know someone who will only date (no joke):

Tall 6ft +
White
Canadian born
No beard
Income 100k+
Lives in the city
Has a car
Owns his own house (not condo, not townhouse, detached house because she likes back yard lounging)

I live in Toronto, so the first two criteria alone narrows her options hahaha. She's not white or Canadian born herself which makes it even funnier.

She also wants the man to be no older than 30 but they have to own their own detached house (average price of such is 900k).

So she's looking at hedge fund manager, stock broker, or professional athlete. I told her to start saving up for NHL tickets and hang around the back entrance of the ACC after the games.

 

[user43770]

I like that concept of ' opportunity costs'. I know someone who will only date (no joke):

Tall 6ft +
White
Canadian born
No beard
Income 100k+
Lives in the city
Has a car
Owns his own house (not condo, not townhouse, detached house because she likes back yard lounging)

I live in Toronto, so the first two criteria alone narrows her options hahaha. She's not white or Canadian born herself which makes it even funnier.

She also wants the man to be no older than 30 but they have to own their own detached house (average price of such is 900k).

So she's looking at hedge fund manager, stock broker, or professional athlete. I told her to start saving up for NHL tickets and hang around the back entrance of the ACC after the games.

This makes me think of the 9s and 10s you see on OLD. Most of them are probably already in relationships, but they like to keep their options open.

 

[ubercat]

The funniest thing is that girl's list will keep increasing as her smv goes down. I've seen it so many times before. Bill Burr does a hilarious rant on that one.

 

[user43770]

Older I get, the more I see this. It's almost like we are slaves to the sh*t. Without any conquering of these instincts, we are reduced to animals.

It's exactly like we are slaves to it. Your sentiments echo many of the great philosophers.

 

[AJ84]

The funniest thing is that girl's list will keep increasing as her smv goes down. I've seen it so many times before. Bill Burr does a hilarious rant on that one.

Haha yeah I bet the only thing that will increase on her list is her age limit from 30 yrs old to rich widowed demented frail elderly with no heirs. I should tell her to change her career to personal care attendant.

 

[Billtx49]

The funniest thing is that girl's list will keep increasing as her smv goes down. I've seen it so many times before. Bill Burr does a hilarious rant on that one.

When resources dwindle, more options are considered. Increasing desperation starts ruling the day at that point, whether it’s advancing age or declining SMV affecting her decisions.

 

[ubercat]

Yeah that would be the logical adjustment. But woman run on emotional logic and they are constantly being told they are worth it. Plenty of woman can't get the guy on their giant shopping list and just become cat ladies. And of course chronic man haters. I mean her imaginary impossible Prince is off f****** other girls of course men are evil.

Not that she EVER WANTED THAT!!

Never underestimate anyone's ability to deny reality to protect their large and fragile ego. How many times do we see guys here trying to justify their girlfriends s***** behaviour when its as plain as dog's balls that's the chick is just not into them that much.