Do we give up too easily?

[Craig Reeves]

I've been noticing something on this forum quite a bit. For some reason or another, whenever somebody comes on this forum looking for advice about a particular girl, we're so quick to tell them "give up, she's not interested" or "she's not into you", etc. It's impossible to really know where a woman stands until she's forced to make a decision on whether or not the relationship is going to advance. If somebody is asking whether or not a woman is into them, shouldn't we be concentrating on getting that person to make a move? What good does it do to tell them not to at least try? After all, we could be wrong, right? Just a thought.

 

[prairiedog24]

I think the answer is that when a person is "forced" to decide if they like someone, the genuine answer will ALWAYS be no, regardless of what she actually says or does. Perhaps she's too dependent or manipulative to handle being alone... she may say "yes", but does she really want it?

Doubt it.

 

[Maxtro]

I kind of agree with that. The "advice" next her is given far too often.

They are partially correct though because they see that the girl is giving signs of low interest. The problem with nexting every girl that is low interest is that for some guys it means they will next EVERYBODY. No girls have high interest in me. It's much more important to learn how to create interest then to simply give up. Giving up is easy, anybody can do it. You also lose because giving up is the only 100% guaranteed way to not get the girl.

IMO, the main reason next her is given so often, is because the guy giving the "advice" really has no idea on what to do. So he gives any advice he can think of to feed his ego.

I would really like to see a new rule on this forum akin to "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Instead if you can't give helpful advice which move on doesn't count, then don't post anything at all. I'd love to see it in effect for a week.

 

[prairiedog24]

That's actually a great point too. I personally have oneitis right now, and I'm not about to change that at the moment. On the flip side, trying to deal with the oneitis effectively and use it as a force to better myself is what drove me to this forum.

My oneitis has already resulted in $150 worth of stylish better fitting clothes, lifting weights at the gym every other day, and reading up on occasionally great advice on this forum. This summer while separated from my interest, I plan on lifting weighs all summer, learning to dance, and generally trying to be more awesome than I already am.

Oneitis can be good I hope.

 

[Warrior74]

I'm pretty heartless and I really don't worry about women that much...so next is easy for me. After 2 years of dating crazy chics and weird girls after my divorce, I learned the power of next. I learned how they act when you leave them and how to deal with that. It's one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal.

That being said, I agree with the post about people who are too quick to shout out next, just because they don't know what else to say..but how can you judge? You dont know that man's experiences and where he's coming from. Let the buyer beware when taking advice from anyone including (especially) gurus and people with high post counts.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I agree with the OP. Instead of "nexting", it should be "putting her on the backburner" or "take a chill pill on her" to keep things into perspective.

You got some threads on here that would next a girl if she didn't return a call you left ONCE. That I think is too far and where "trying" could come in. Supposed the second attempt works? Anyone can give up.

 

[lghost]

their just opinions that some people want. Say someone writes, "she left me and I want her back. She told me to rot in hell and I can't get over her. HELP!!! PLEASE!!!" The OP will scroll through all the advice of nexting her until he sees one that leaves the slightest clue of getting her back. He will then pursue this person and ask for more and give more detail... " She gave her number to some guy in front of me... How do I get her back???" More advice to next her and before you know it hes gone. OR he will agree and say everyone is right and come back in 1 month saying she is ignoring my calls... Besides when it comes to females, nexting is the best option because she will come back.... or not... What other option would resolve it? Go ahead and keep calling, your only increasing her confidence. uh oh

 

[SharinganUser]

The problem is that we can only give advice based on the information given to us.

Most girls I've banged/dated, actually turned me down when i tried to escalate. All I did was tone it down, built more comfort and then tried again. If a woman isn't comfortable with you enough, she will turn you down even if she is interested in you.

when someone asks for advice on here, we can only give him advice based on the signals she gave him or something she did. We don't know the whole story. Some times a no is actually a yes in disguise.

However, since there are alot of guy on here who hang off one woman until she thinks about getting a restraining order, they have to learn that most women are a dime a dozen by nexting them more and more.