Do Looks = Confidence?

[HollowHorizon]

i have taken futher steps like i asked a girl what i look good in.. I am trieng to extend what she said looks good along with my judgment for what i should where each day ( I have a limmited selection) .
So i kept her advice in mine. Got up real early to start makin
Desisions when i finaly cam to a decison.......This is what i wore.

-Long Black sleeve shirt
-Over it i had a silky summertype black button tee shirt with semi looking flames on it.
- a Pair of darker blue jeans and a black belt

- a pair of black nike's (You know they kind where u tie them from the inside and in the front u can zipper it up)

- had fixed my hair nice as i saw fit well combed with hairspray to make shure it stayed just the way i wanted it .

- Groomed myself to the point where you thought i was a neat freak if you saw me

Got to school about 45 minuts early so i could socialize with any girl who would talk to me..Mostly targeting the good or decent looking ones..

The positives to my change for that day that normally or usualy never happens where..

- They Respoded better than usual 2 I had more confidence to speak with them when i normally would stand there waiting to jump to socializing. 3 I was noticed alot more like when i walked into the cafe where a study hall was going on more girls would look at me for a second or 2. 4 i even seemed more liked than normally around male peers.4 It made me feel great so my spirit was up and anything said to put me down in or non intentionaly wouldent bother me 5 i was more ****ey and dident look like a sappy puss. 6 Becuse i was feeling so great i was actuly doing work in class and doing well....There is more but im not going into emtreemly long detail..

That is very rare for me to have that much spirit..(you dont have to tell me i am trieng pretty hard at making this second nature but its alot to handle)..I wanted to ask the Fellow Dj's what colors go good and what styles work ( and what matches etc)?

I will inform you Don Juans on what kind of cloths i where and what positive and negitive affects i had.

Suggestions?

 

[seulaxplaya]

haha no. check out the hottest chicks they are the most insecure people

 

[waldo]

This just goes to prove how a positive outlook really can help.

I'd say wear whatever you think looks best, cos that'll be what your most happy wearing. By all means though ask people what they think, if someone says a particular top looks really good, then make a mental note and wear it more often.

Personally I think the neat/trendy look is the way to go, as long as it doesn't look like your trying too hard.

 

[Jango_Xavier]

Confidence + Fashionable clothing=Looks

 

[HollowHorizon]

Mabe insecure but hard to get becuse they know what they can have Some of them are also stuck up becuse ur not a jock or really popular, it makes me feel better tho and if you look at the outcome of my unaverage day you would see how positive that affect is

 

[So pimp its scary]

Looks don't create confidence... you have confidence when you KNOW that you can handle a situation.

For example : Instead of just going headlong to walk over to a girl, but keep walking because you choked at the last second. You could just picture yourself in your mind walking up to the girl...
saying 'hi.'. and continuing into this conversation... the same conversation that you've had with countless other people, and she'll smile, and I'll continue from there.

You've just made an image in your mind proving that you can handle the situation. Sure, you might still be nervous... but that just means you haven't pictured it in your mind clear enough. The mind can't tell the difference between something that really happened, and something that is vivadly pictured in the mind.

Also, try walking around like a superhero, with a cape flowing from your back. Seriously, try it right now... put a crazy smirk on your face, walk around your dwelling right now as though you have a cape on your back. If you don't feel more confident, put more intensity... Noones watching, just try it! (This comes from Tony Robbins)

Sure, clothes will give you more confidence, if you feel that your clothes aren't as good as they could be, but that is not what creates the confidence, it's the knowing that you are presenting a better foot forward that allows you to allow yourself to walk in a more confident posture.

 

[Player_Supreme]

No! I just had lunch with a girl and I bought this subject up. She stated that confidence is the main thing that will attract her to a man. Including intelligence, earning power and all the rest.

She also stated that she has dated some ugly men who had a high level of confidence that attracted her attention.

But if you have the looks then you have more in your favor. She claims that looks will get you in the door but if you don't have what it takes you will not be there for long.

Case in point:

two weekends ago I went out with a group of fellas. One guy who is now doing amature modeling but has no well actually it's in the negative area personality. I think I mention him in another post.

This hb9 asked him to dance and it lasted maybe 2 minutes. He opened his mouth. she made a beeline to dance with someone else.

 

[So pimp its scary]

soory double post

 

[HollowHorizon]

No problem

 

[jakethasnake]

What the fvck are you guys talking about?


With women, it's true that looks do not always include confidence. They are cursed by our society with extrememly strict beauty standards.


But with MEN, looks DO equal confidence. Not in the deeper scheme of things such as self-contentment or self-realization or whatever, but being better looking DOES give a man the mental edge. Job interviews, dates, networking... it's true that a good image will get you further than if you were hideous or had a poor image.


That's just life. I'm not a perfect looking guy, but I can accept that. Some of you are in denial (all across this board), and need to wake up.

 

[nycdoctor]

LOOK DO MATTER TO WOMEN

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclov...hip_expert.html

 

[becker]

Looks definitely help a guy's confidence, but he needs to make them work for him. He needs to see himself as good looking. I think that it's important that knowing you look good creates higher self esteem, which transfers into confidence in the way you act.

I always feel more confident when I have women telling me that I look good, or I have women flirting with me. It shows that you are desired. I will definitely feel more confident in myself when I approach a girl if I know I'm good looking.

 

[Anonymous56]

Im gonna make this simple it may clarify your post

Confidence = secure

lack of confidence = insecure

You were obviously insecure about your clothing so you made the extra effort and made sure you dressed nicely....YOU now know in your mind that you look good and presentable and thus NO WORRIES or insecurities...put two and two together.

Of course there are people like me who's confidence still is low at times even though they know they look good and are successful, but we won't get into that.

 

[Anonymous56]

Obviously I wasn't talking about permanent, engraved, natural confidence(that is something very special and tough to achieve) I was stating that looks can help you obtain a temporary boost(for the remainder of that day or over a week or whatever) But ultimately, just looks won't make that temporary confidence extend for long periods of time on its own, its what actions you do while being under the spell of that temporary confidence that will help you grow and achieve the natural, genuine confidence. This is something that I'm working on...I get those spells of great confidence but if I don't do much with it, it drifts away in a heart beat. I hope this is clear, i'm real tired.

 

[MVPlaya]

STYLE

More important than looks is style. When I got into college. I did a huge overhaul of the style of clothes I wear and I got A LOT more attention from women. I tend to shy away from high-school clothes (sweatshirts, jeans, + sneakers or jeans, T-shirt, and slippers). Instead, I dress more mature. one thing that I noticed gets me HUGE attention is SHOES. It is of paramount importance that you wear NICE dress shoes with your semi-casual look. Its good to have creme pants to wear with a dress shirt (blue is cliche, try a nice shade of purple or black) or go for a more Hollywood-like look, nice comfy jeans with a white shirt similar to a dress shirt but more detailed (meaning it has a small pattern taht is noticeable when attention is paid to it, a normal white dress shirt is too plain). Wear these with leather shoes or dress shoes. Somehow women seem to notice shoes immediately. The only thing I looked at for shoes when I went shopping in high-school was to see what threading it had along the edges and wheather the nose was coated so as to prevent any tears from excessive basketball. But women take IMMEDIATE note. So, although looks are good to have (if you're not handsome, at least try to be in decent physical shape and have a healthy tan), style is more important. Style signifies that you are a person of importance and that you care about how you look. Style can set you apart from people in a graceful way and allow you to stand out. Furthermore, style can show that you are in a financially stable position. Even if you're not rich (I'm a teenage college student - but make $30/hour, god I love my job), you can still go to discount stores or check the clearance rack at your local Nordstrom's. Apparently there is this thing such as New Fashion and Old Fasion meaning "plaids are in" "plaids are out" "plaids are in" Me: Who Gives a $H!T. When people are screaming dumb stuff like that, its your cue to read "Plaids are Out" as "Plaids can be found on the clearance rack."

 

[jbbrain]

jake has it exactly right..

the same question cannot be asked for both sexes.

Alluding to confidence and women strictly, I look good, and that in itself has opened the door to me to talk to girls, score with girls, allow me the chance to perfect my verbal game etc etc. Whats even better is that its a vicious cycle..confidence gets me the girls, and getting the girls give me confidence.

But thats not to say that looks in iteself have given me "authentic confidence"..I still have hangups and insecurities that I need to work on for sure, not for the ladies, but for MYSELF.

 

[mahon83050]

I agree with JaketheSnake in that looks does has a heavy impact on your confidence level. For example, I am not a naturally good looking guy so I have to groom myself and dress well to feel confident. I look bad with facial hair (looks like dirt on my face) So, when I am cleanshaven I feel more physically attractive and therefore more confident.

 

[HollowHorizon]

That is my whole point, but dont look good for others do it for yourself

 

[xblitz44x]

Hollow,

Everything is a perception. EVERYTHING. A model could think they, themselves, look ugly, and undesireable, thus having zero confidence. At the same time, the model could think they are good looking due to the extensive validation going on in model industry, yet could realize that they are nothing BUT looks, and feel that once a person's learns about the REAL them, they will bail....thus they have ZERO confidence still.

Confidence isn't what this site makes it out to be. This site is mistaking confidence for a quick burst of bullshyt affirmations that fuels them just enough to get themselves into a situation with a girl. That's not confidence. What's confidence is to realize that we are ALL fvcked up in some way or another, and are led into each experience to learn about ourselves in order to work things out. What we look like is irrelevant, because each girl will have their own perceptions.

 

[Chemistry]

Depends on the person... some people's confidence can be made or broken by the clothes they wear... some days people can be under-dressed and thus lack confidence, but when they have their better clothes on then they're confidence...

The best people are those who are confident regardless of what they're wearin...

Personally I always wear great clothes, but simply because I have a single family owned shop where I go and it has all the best small Italian labels... so I go in, ask what's new and they show me and I pick up what I like, simple as, then I just throw them on

I used to be particular about havin my hair styled perfect, but now I just throw on my clothes and leave my hair the same as it looks when I get up, and manage to get thru a silly number of girls and positive signs throughout the day just walkin through the centre of town, or leavin a University lecture