Do interested gals really not call back?

[Bonhomme]

This isn't really a biggie, because I have so many other fish circling my bait, but there's one pretty hot gal I met some weeks ago, hit it off reasonably well, and got her #.

I called her in a couple days, and she said she was "on the other line," or some such, and "would call me right back," but never did. I never block my calls, she didn't ask for my #, and I'm pretty sure she was on a mobile phone which would have displayed my #.

So, I just moved on. But when I've run into her since, and pretty much ignored her beyond a rather neutral "hello," she's been hesistantly trying to get my attention. She can sense she committed a gaffe by not calling me back, and I do come across as a very independent, no bullsh1t type. I can see she's scared of the possibility of a very hard rejection.

Is it possible this silly chick really was hoping I'd call her back?
Or does she just want to eat her cake and have it too?

Anyway, I'm intrigued by the situation. Any insights?

 

[Jus_LikeCandy]

I have done that before. Basically the same situation. It doesn't mean she isn't interested...Sometimes, if you are "busy" it may slip your mind..

 

[Alpine]

Strikes me you did the right thing and it's working.

You didn't chase her again, you got on after others. When you saw her again you didn't get all whiney and pissy.

Why not say, hey, give me a call sometime, we can go for a drink or something.

The test is, if she gets back pronto you know she feels she screwed up, if not, big deal, all you want to avaoid is her thinking you are totally not interested and miss out on some fanny.

 

[Luscious]

Bonhomme,

I smell a **** test. She was probably, like you said, hoping you would call her back AGAIN - a power play.

Whenever you post, you certainly seem to know your stuff, and don't overanalyze here - you are spot on. You busted her test by simply not calling back again and now she is slightly embarrassed and possibly a touch fearful because you nailed her on that test.

She's still giving out buying signals, but the fact that she gave such a stupid test as that so early on would make me a bit leery. Let her make the next move while you tend to the other women you have on deck. It's her move now, not yours.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Bonhomme
Is it possible this silly chick really was hoping I'd call her back?
Or does she just want to eat her cake and have it too?

Anyway, I'm intrigued by the situation. Any insights?

How about she has been playing "hard to get"? She thought you would be chasing her... so obviously she didn't bother to call back.
A classic women's game.

Some women are very sensitive... they would rather die than show they are interested or desperate (which is for them might look like the same thing somethimes).

Another possibilty - she was testing you...she wanted to know if you really liked her...

Another possibility she was not really thinking at all...
Example: I called a chick, met her answering machine and left a message. After a week, she sent me an email "I wasn't thinking and deleted your voice message. If you are still interested my phone is XXXXX". Thats really odd: to deleted a message and then "Oh I want you to call me...".
The actual situation is that she knew, that bu calling me back she would show her interest, i.e. her "hard to get" game woudl fall apart. So she came up with a very dumb excuse...

Another possibility - she met somebody at that time and didn't bother to call you back. She was busy dating somebody... but when she sees you, she is still interested... but would a nice girl show her interest? No way....

 

[themanwithnoname]

She could be interested or not, She could be ignoring you or not, She could be powerplaying you or not, Who cares.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

The most experienced of DJs would be unable to tell whether she is interested or is simply just stringing you along. What we do know is that she was never highly interested in you. If you were Brad Pitt or David Beckham calling, don't you think she would call you right back, or better yet, just hang up the "other line" so she could talk to you?

Next time you see her and you get a chance to talk privately with her, make sure you establish enough rapport with her and then ask her out. You'll know then whether she is just an attention seeker or not.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[Bonhomme]

What we do know is that she was never highly interested in you. If you were Brad Pitt or David Beckham calling, don't you think she would call you right back, or better yet, just hang up the "other line" so she could talk to you?

Exactly. That's why I say it's no big deal.

Thanks for the insight and suggestions. Right now, as I said, there are several real good prospects in the mix, so this gal's way down on the list, not even a real "prospect."

 

[Don Ronny]

If she is as hot as you say, I woulda called her one more time and said:

YOU: Hey HBFlake, this is Bonhomme, yeah...the guy you said you were gonna call back but never did.

HER: (insert BS apologies here)

YOU: (Cutting her off) Yeah well, lucky for you I happen to be feeling unusually generous tonight and will grant you the chance to redeem yourself. But you only get one more chance impress me, so whatever we end up doing, make sure you dress nice!

Bust on her a little bit, add a little fluff and tell her when she will meet you and what she will do for you.

Stop waiting for chicks to call you back. You are the MAN!

 

[golf299]

it has always been my experience that an interested girl will call you back. and if she's just not calling because she's playing games...that's a waste of time in my book.

 

[Skweints]

Here's a tip for you all... the sh't tests don't come until at LEAST the 1st date.

She wasn't trying to sh't test him, she probably was on the phone with her mother who lives across the country, and got tied up in her phone conversation that by the time she thought about calling back, her insecurities got the best of her, and she said to herself "Oooh, it's too late. I think he'll be mad cause I didn't call back sooner." Okay, maybe not -exactly - the case, but you can assume something similar may have happened.

This sounds a little bit more like a woman to you, right?

Women don't naturally TRY to obtain power in a relationship, especially if they don't know the man. They USUALLY try to obtain power when the woman gets to know the man better, and realizes that she can get away with certain things. Like asking for money, and not having intentions to pay back, or asking for favors, not expecting to give any in return.

Now, what you did was fine... you didn't call back. I wouldn't call back, either. Or at least, not without using Don Ronny's method. (That usually works as well.) However, even if you didn't call back right away, there was no reason not to give her a call back a few days later. It's not like it matters, right? Hell, at least you'd find out whether or not she was really interested. If she's interested, she'll let you get away with a slip up or too... because she'll simply overlook it, and not realize what's going on due to excitement of you being around her.