sageproduct
Banned
I'm pretty fwcking pissed at my dad right now, but I need to know if he really is being ridiculous or if I am thinking like a self-righteous entitled, "typical" American teen.
A Couple Details
My parents immigrated to America from Asia a few years before I was born. They are still not very culturally adapted.
My younger sibling and I have been playing a sport very competitively all our lives. For the last 6 years, we have probably spent about $20,000-30,000 on classes, travel, etc.
Storytime...
I graduated high school this year and am going to a cheap state university next year. I got an athletic full-tuition scholarship, so all I have to worry about is books, mandatory fees, and the cost of living.
About a month ago, I got a contract for the best dorm at my school. I was very excited and asked my dad to sign it. He took one look at it and said $11,000 was way too expensive and told me to find an apartment (at my school freshman aren't required to live in dorms) because we could "easily" find one for half that price.
I was initially pissed off. He basically took an immediate stab at apartment prices that he had done ZERO research on and said it as if it were a sure thing. Plus, he didn't seem to give a rat's @ss that I really wanted the dorm.
And $11,000 too expensive? My dad makes 90-100k a year, drives a Lexus RX, and just bought a $1,500 grill that we used like...4 times. On top of this, my mom works full-time. However, my dad always makes every effort to show me that we are "very poor" because of all the debt we have. Besides all the expenses for my sibling and I to train and compete, I know of 3 financial burdens we have:
1. 5 years ago we lost about $10k on a sh1tty @ss attempt at a business venture
2. my mom plays the stock market and gets her sh1t rocked cuz she is clueless. I think she invested $20k initially?
3. This year we got sued for $2,000 from a medical bill 3-4 years ago because my dad thought insurance would take care of it.
Alright, maybe our funds are extremely tight. I wouldn't know it because I've never made a financial decision in my life. Neither does the financial aid office at my college, because our Expected Family Contribution was calculated at $30k. Needless to say, we didn't get any financial aid, except for two loans that total to about $5,500.
Some Things Change...
A few days pass. It just so happens that a couple people I know change their plans and offer me to get an apartment with them next year. I like this even better than the dorm. I'm excited as hell. Then I calculate the costs, and it turns out I'll have to pay about $700 more than I would have if I got the dorm. (And that's with VERY high utility estimates--like me taking 3 hot showers a day)
A Little more backstory...
Last summer, I kinda started my own little business. I kept it completely secret from my parents because I didn't want them to know that I had money to spend. At first I did it so I could save up and buy a longboard and some video games. When I started making money, I changed my mind and opted to save up. I started saving like a madman--I wouldn't even order food when I went out to eat with friends. Two months ago, I had about $2,300 saved up. All outside my parents' knowledge.
Two months ago. That's when my parents got in a huge fight about not being able to pay the bills, or taxes or some sh1t for that month. My dad kept pressuring her to withdraw some funds from her stock trading I think? Or something like that because he kept saying that he was down to his very last funds (this was right after he bought that $1,500 grill.......) and that if she didn't do what he wanted, he would be forced to withdraw money from his Roth IRA and suffer HUGE penalties.
After my mom left the room, I asked my dad how much money he needed. I think he said something from $5,000-$10,000. Then I asked him how he'd get that money, and he repeated that he'd suffer a HUGE penalty withdrawing from his IRA. I said ok, went upstairs, took almost all the cash I had stashed away, put it in an envelope, went back downstairs, and handed it to my dad. $2,000. I played the hero, how motherfwcking dramatic. Whoop de doo. My dad literally started crying, which I've only seen happen one other time in my life.
He tries at least 20 times to give it back to me that day, saying "what kind of father am i to take money from my son" and I adamantly refuse every time, saying that there's no fwcking point in us getting penalized if we have some cash. About a week later, he hands the money to me and explains that it "actually won't be that bad". I don't know exactly what that means. That he has another source of money? Whatever it is, it does mean that he was full of sh1t before and trying to make our situation seem worse than it actually was so that he could get my mom to do what he wanted.
I took my money back because I was just sick of his sh1t all the time. Key element here though--now he knows I have money, and that I run a business in the summer.
The Clash
So here I am, all excited to move into this kick@ss apartment (it IS literally fwcking awesome), and ask my dad to co-sign. We talk. He makes estimates that are unreasonably high for the cost. He says, "Just live in the dorm. This is too expensive." I'm furious because it's obvious to me that he doesn't give a flying fwck what I want to do, or that me and the other guys went through all the trouble of finding an apartment. He just says it like it's nothing.
We talk about cost. He knows how much money I have. I reveal that I expect to have saved up about $4,000 by the beginning of the school year. I find out that he expects me to use ALL of that to help pay for the apartment. If I accept both loans I was offered, I'll have about $9,500. The other $2,500, I guess he's gonna pay. Right?
Last year for my 17th birthday, this bastard gave me $17 and a fake eBay million dollar bill. I didn't say a word to him the whole day, and he still wonders why. My mom at least had some social intelligence and told him what a sh1tty gift that was, so he told me that "this year we will do your birthday good."
He asked me what i want for my birthday. I said, "a longboard." He says, "no. Anything else?" "A guitar case." My birthday comes around. Sh1tty A$$ day. He forces me to drive my sister somewhere, takes the family out to dinner to a place I don't even like, and fwcking hands me a $1,000 check, which is OBVIOUSLY going to go straight to paying for the apartment.
It's like ordering $50 worth of food at a restaurant and having the waiter accidentally type in "$5", then not telling them anything and leaving them a $50 tip. Hey everyone, look how fwcking generous I am for leaving a $50 tip! Well motherfwcker, that tip's going straight to paying for the food that you were supposed to pay for anyway.
Well tonight I asked him to co-sign my lease and be my guarantor since I have no credit score and won't have any income during the school year. He then said, "If you want the apartment, fine. I won't stop you. But I won't co-sign." Then at least 5 times, I made it EXTREMELY FWCKING CLEAR that they were requiring me to have him co-sign, so by refusing he was essentially taking away my option of living in the apartment. For some fwcking reason, this simple logic seems above his head and he keeps repeating his bullsh1t "if you want the apartment, I can't stop you but I won't co-sign."
This is ridiculous. He keeps egging me to "just take the dorm." I ask him why the fwck he thinks he can just make this decision for me WHEN HE'S BARELY EVEN FWCKING PAYING FOR ANY OF IT. Like I said, he makes 90-100k a year and is b1tching about a less than $1,000 difference in different living options that I am considering for MYSELF. When I add up all my money, all I'm short over the course of the YEAR is $1,500. I won't run out of funds until at least 6, 8 months into the school year. This guy is trying to tell me that 6, 8 months from now he won't be able to spare $1,500 to keep his son in college. Total bullsh1t.
Here's where I really need to know if I'm just being a brat. I was so pissed off that I tried to make him realize that me busting my ass last summer and this summer to run my own business benefited HIM, not me. I asked him what he would do if I had made ZERO money these past couple years. He gave me the bullsh1t answer of "I don't know." Would he suck it up and pay the $6,000 or so? I sure as hell know that a guy so fwcking full of pride like him wouldn't let his son not go to college simply because he couldn't pay for it.
I worked for money because of things I wanted. At first, I wanted to buy a longboard. After accumulating some money, I really wanted to start investing. Now just because I showed him my money, I have to dump it all into my cost of living next year. Because a guy who makes 90-100k a year, drives a Lexus RX, buys a $1,500 grill, and has a wife who works full-time can't manage a few thousand dollars half a year from now. Fwcking bullsh1t.
When I mentioned that all my work has benefited HIM and not me, he got really pissed and refused to understand my logic. He brought up completely unrelated sh1t like how he came to America with only $65 and his parents didn't support him at all at that time (because they COULDN'T), and how he went through college here working six days a week (well...he only had class one day a week. 8 credit hours, he said. completely irrelevant because I will have double that amount of credit hours next year, as well as having to train my ass off in my sport to protect my scholarship).
Please someone, call me out if I'm just being stubborn and ignorant of his viewpoint...deep down I know all this hatred I have for my dad will hurt me in the end
A Couple Details
My parents immigrated to America from Asia a few years before I was born. They are still not very culturally adapted.
My younger sibling and I have been playing a sport very competitively all our lives. For the last 6 years, we have probably spent about $20,000-30,000 on classes, travel, etc.
Storytime...
I graduated high school this year and am going to a cheap state university next year. I got an athletic full-tuition scholarship, so all I have to worry about is books, mandatory fees, and the cost of living.
About a month ago, I got a contract for the best dorm at my school. I was very excited and asked my dad to sign it. He took one look at it and said $11,000 was way too expensive and told me to find an apartment (at my school freshman aren't required to live in dorms) because we could "easily" find one for half that price.
I was initially pissed off. He basically took an immediate stab at apartment prices that he had done ZERO research on and said it as if it were a sure thing. Plus, he didn't seem to give a rat's @ss that I really wanted the dorm.
And $11,000 too expensive? My dad makes 90-100k a year, drives a Lexus RX, and just bought a $1,500 grill that we used like...4 times. On top of this, my mom works full-time. However, my dad always makes every effort to show me that we are "very poor" because of all the debt we have. Besides all the expenses for my sibling and I to train and compete, I know of 3 financial burdens we have:
1. 5 years ago we lost about $10k on a sh1tty @ss attempt at a business venture
2. my mom plays the stock market and gets her sh1t rocked cuz she is clueless. I think she invested $20k initially?
3. This year we got sued for $2,000 from a medical bill 3-4 years ago because my dad thought insurance would take care of it.
Alright, maybe our funds are extremely tight. I wouldn't know it because I've never made a financial decision in my life. Neither does the financial aid office at my college, because our Expected Family Contribution was calculated at $30k. Needless to say, we didn't get any financial aid, except for two loans that total to about $5,500.
Some Things Change...
A few days pass. It just so happens that a couple people I know change their plans and offer me to get an apartment with them next year. I like this even better than the dorm. I'm excited as hell. Then I calculate the costs, and it turns out I'll have to pay about $700 more than I would have if I got the dorm. (And that's with VERY high utility estimates--like me taking 3 hot showers a day)
A Little more backstory...
Last summer, I kinda started my own little business. I kept it completely secret from my parents because I didn't want them to know that I had money to spend. At first I did it so I could save up and buy a longboard and some video games. When I started making money, I changed my mind and opted to save up. I started saving like a madman--I wouldn't even order food when I went out to eat with friends. Two months ago, I had about $2,300 saved up. All outside my parents' knowledge.
Two months ago. That's when my parents got in a huge fight about not being able to pay the bills, or taxes or some sh1t for that month. My dad kept pressuring her to withdraw some funds from her stock trading I think? Or something like that because he kept saying that he was down to his very last funds (this was right after he bought that $1,500 grill.......) and that if she didn't do what he wanted, he would be forced to withdraw money from his Roth IRA and suffer HUGE penalties.
After my mom left the room, I asked my dad how much money he needed. I think he said something from $5,000-$10,000. Then I asked him how he'd get that money, and he repeated that he'd suffer a HUGE penalty withdrawing from his IRA. I said ok, went upstairs, took almost all the cash I had stashed away, put it in an envelope, went back downstairs, and handed it to my dad. $2,000. I played the hero, how motherfwcking dramatic. Whoop de doo. My dad literally started crying, which I've only seen happen one other time in my life.
He tries at least 20 times to give it back to me that day, saying "what kind of father am i to take money from my son" and I adamantly refuse every time, saying that there's no fwcking point in us getting penalized if we have some cash. About a week later, he hands the money to me and explains that it "actually won't be that bad". I don't know exactly what that means. That he has another source of money? Whatever it is, it does mean that he was full of sh1t before and trying to make our situation seem worse than it actually was so that he could get my mom to do what he wanted.
I took my money back because I was just sick of his sh1t all the time. Key element here though--now he knows I have money, and that I run a business in the summer.
The Clash
So here I am, all excited to move into this kick@ss apartment (it IS literally fwcking awesome), and ask my dad to co-sign. We talk. He makes estimates that are unreasonably high for the cost. He says, "Just live in the dorm. This is too expensive." I'm furious because it's obvious to me that he doesn't give a flying fwck what I want to do, or that me and the other guys went through all the trouble of finding an apartment. He just says it like it's nothing.
We talk about cost. He knows how much money I have. I reveal that I expect to have saved up about $4,000 by the beginning of the school year. I find out that he expects me to use ALL of that to help pay for the apartment. If I accept both loans I was offered, I'll have about $9,500. The other $2,500, I guess he's gonna pay. Right?
Last year for my 17th birthday, this bastard gave me $17 and a fake eBay million dollar bill. I didn't say a word to him the whole day, and he still wonders why. My mom at least had some social intelligence and told him what a sh1tty gift that was, so he told me that "this year we will do your birthday good."
He asked me what i want for my birthday. I said, "a longboard." He says, "no. Anything else?" "A guitar case." My birthday comes around. Sh1tty A$$ day. He forces me to drive my sister somewhere, takes the family out to dinner to a place I don't even like, and fwcking hands me a $1,000 check, which is OBVIOUSLY going to go straight to paying for the apartment.
It's like ordering $50 worth of food at a restaurant and having the waiter accidentally type in "$5", then not telling them anything and leaving them a $50 tip. Hey everyone, look how fwcking generous I am for leaving a $50 tip! Well motherfwcker, that tip's going straight to paying for the food that you were supposed to pay for anyway.
Well tonight I asked him to co-sign my lease and be my guarantor since I have no credit score and won't have any income during the school year. He then said, "If you want the apartment, fine. I won't stop you. But I won't co-sign." Then at least 5 times, I made it EXTREMELY FWCKING CLEAR that they were requiring me to have him co-sign, so by refusing he was essentially taking away my option of living in the apartment. For some fwcking reason, this simple logic seems above his head and he keeps repeating his bullsh1t "if you want the apartment, I can't stop you but I won't co-sign."
This is ridiculous. He keeps egging me to "just take the dorm." I ask him why the fwck he thinks he can just make this decision for me WHEN HE'S BARELY EVEN FWCKING PAYING FOR ANY OF IT. Like I said, he makes 90-100k a year and is b1tching about a less than $1,000 difference in different living options that I am considering for MYSELF. When I add up all my money, all I'm short over the course of the YEAR is $1,500. I won't run out of funds until at least 6, 8 months into the school year. This guy is trying to tell me that 6, 8 months from now he won't be able to spare $1,500 to keep his son in college. Total bullsh1t.
Here's where I really need to know if I'm just being a brat. I was so pissed off that I tried to make him realize that me busting my ass last summer and this summer to run my own business benefited HIM, not me. I asked him what he would do if I had made ZERO money these past couple years. He gave me the bullsh1t answer of "I don't know." Would he suck it up and pay the $6,000 or so? I sure as hell know that a guy so fwcking full of pride like him wouldn't let his son not go to college simply because he couldn't pay for it.
I worked for money because of things I wanted. At first, I wanted to buy a longboard. After accumulating some money, I really wanted to start investing. Now just because I showed him my money, I have to dump it all into my cost of living next year. Because a guy who makes 90-100k a year, drives a Lexus RX, buys a $1,500 grill, and has a wife who works full-time can't manage a few thousand dollars half a year from now. Fwcking bullsh1t.
When I mentioned that all my work has benefited HIM and not me, he got really pissed and refused to understand my logic. He brought up completely unrelated sh1t like how he came to America with only $65 and his parents didn't support him at all at that time (because they COULDN'T), and how he went through college here working six days a week (well...he only had class one day a week. 8 credit hours, he said. completely irrelevant because I will have double that amount of credit hours next year, as well as having to train my ass off in my sport to protect my scholarship).
Please someone, call me out if I'm just being stubborn and ignorant of his viewpoint...deep down I know all this hatred I have for my dad will hurt me in the end
