Do Good looking guys make as many friends as ugly guys?

[alphamale1]

Hay there,

I believe deep down inside I have a cool personality.
I have friends about 3 good friends and other friends.

But there is something that has been bothering me.

There is something that ive noticed.....

I have a guy friend and I am becoming a better friend with his friend but this other guy who is a friend of my friend and the other friend never talks or initiates a chat with me....

Now this does bother me.

Secondly I know im not out there to impress anyone but this guy never talks to me.......so I say 'what u been up too'?
only because im genuinely interested......but he never initiates a conversation......is it because good looking guys steal ugly people's friends or is it because he's jealous that I have some good friends.

Obviously I look like I have social proof if my friend hangs out with me but what is it about this guy? By the way they have known each other for ages but that is no reason to not know me.

Ben

 

[alphamale1]

i dont mean ugly guys

i mean average looking guys....or below average looking guys.

 

[Alpine]

You obviously have got too much time on your hands.

Who knows, who cares?

Focus on those who like you, don't dwell on someone who doesn't and try and rationalise it.

As to generally improving your social skills, well that's another matter.

Also sometimes I often distrust someone who is overly nice, like do they want something off me. Don't sweat it.

 

[alphamale1]

SuperGigaloDJ, Firstly if u have some good tips to give me then yes make a comment but stop waste my time having me scroll and having me read ur stupid words.

Secondly maybe u have mastered this area of ur life, maybe u think ur all it, maybe I dont deserve some help.........maybe you should shut up!

Thirdly, **** UP!

 

[frivolousz21]

i hate to say this.

but if u are refering to MALE friend..and you care what they look like.

that is just wrong. really..I have no reason to give a **** about what my male friends loook like.

actually I dont care what anyone of my "friends" look like

 

[Marcopolo]

This sounds like what women do. This would be called catty, jealous behavoir and is something my sister who is very good looking has to deal with.
That being said I personally value intellect, common interests, and friendliness over looks in guy friends and frankly have never given a second thought to how any of my friends would rate on a looks scale. In fact, most of my friends are more on the nerdy side because I do value intellect and being interesting people to talk to and hang out with. Of course, in high school both genders do have cliques that are largely based indirectly on looks and/or athletic ability.
One more thing I may add-if you are very good looking and are not very outgoing a lot of people will mistake that for arrogance, or be more ready to assume that you are stuck up. Perhaps you appeared aloof to these people when you first met them, and that was their first impression of you.
This is especially true if you are the intellectual type, some people will seem just plain boring to you and you will not have a lot of common interests to talk about- in which case they may think you are stuck up because of your looks, when in fact you are stuck up because you are smarter than thy are.
Seriously, try extra hard to be friendly and hopefully this will help.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

This thread is turbo--gay,son.

Obviously he doesn't like you or is jealous/intimadated.But really unless your a woman or 8 years old who cares what your freind thinks?

 

[david90]

yeah good looking male do get more chance at making friends. People associate good looking with fun,interesting and success.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by david90
yeah good looking male do get more chance at making friends. People associate good looking with fun,interesting and success.

I agree with what you say about ppl associating good looks with interesting, fun and success. but iwth good looking males making friends easily, i cant completely agree. there hasnt been studies to prove this.

maybe of the association of fun, interesting, and success, ppl will start to assume that you wont have the time to make friendss with them. so some people wont bother. I'd probably say yes and no, to making friends easily, but in the end it counts to personality and whether that person may want a friend or not. past few years hasnt been easy for me to make friends. but probably because i seem more the loner type so that explains.

 

[smoke city]

Wow. Alphamale1, you should seriously go and reread your own first post. If you replace the word 'guy' with 'girl' it reads just like any other request for dating advice.
Now, I'm not going to go and accuse you of being gay or anything like that--but your post deserves comment.
I just think your whole perspective is wrong. You have your friends because you think they're interesting people. Are you satisfied with them? Why do you *need the attention of this guy?
If you don't get it--so what?
The perspective I'm talking about is that you feel bad about this situation because the other person isn't giving you validation. This is a dangerous mindset -- I know because I've had it. You read all the tips in the world, go to the websites, read your DeAngelo and Doc Love, etc. with the intention that what you learn will provide you results in a better social life. But it's so easy to get caught up in the external feedback (i.e. the way others react to you) that you actually learn to DEPEND on that positive feedback. It's classical conditioning, man.
Now having spent a lot of time reading this website, I can say that most of the information here is pure gold, and it has really changed my perspective on things. But I've also learned that it's actually dangerous to use it as a means to getting laid. I agree with what DeAngelo says about his techniques--mainly that if your beliefs and self-image are right, then *any* technique will work. What this means is that the change in your internal state should take precedence over *anything* that's happening outside of you. When you get there (I'm working toward it, and there are people here who I can see have achieved it) things like 'kino' and 'social proof' will be reduced to mirages.

 

[alphamale1]

Smoke City thats a pretty good reply.
Screwit and David, I never knew that.
Marcopolo, didnt know that either

Thanks guy for the advice.

I will correct the internal states so as smoke city puts it.

 

[LifeFirst]

Friends are overrated anyway...just focus on your GOOD friends.

 

[A-Unit]

Comments

Too much "thinking" to live life. Stop analyzing, start acting.

Looks aren't a factor. Some guys have lots of friends, some don't.

Psychologists dub a friend as "someone you have known intimately for at least 3 years."

Topics like this remind me of the thought processes of women.

Can you see the semantical, non-issues here?

Your life is as it is. Accept that. Nothing gets better without action implemented. Wasted thoughts are just the "white noise of life."

I'd rather have seen a topic on businesses, taking a girl on action dates, or something to the advancement, not the deterrent.


GL with that,



A-Unit