Do English girls need to be Dj'd differently?

[Slyder]

I'm an English DJ who is finding that girls seem to dislike one-on-one dates in the beginning, instead suggesting get togethers involving a group of friends already going out.

I can only think this is a cultural / security thing? Is the American way of dating seen as too aggressive?

Can any English guy tell me how dating is supposed to be in our reserved country! ?

[This message has been edited by Slyder (edited 08-29-2002).]

 

[TKDude]

I don't know.

But when I was in London, I noticed that Class distinction is a big deal to many people.

Having money or being "Posh" is derided by many.

I suppose the rules apply universally, but as with any women, they won't fall in your lap, you have to approach. Once you do, they will probably make a qucik determination even before you open your mouth. Then your goal is to not do anything to blow it, which means thinking too much.

Perhaps you should not get pissed on bitter before you approach a bird. Right. Seems that is a common lament from English women, that guys only approach when they are pissed and then they are very clumsy and somewhat resentful.

 

[In Sync]

I think part of the reason why I haven't posted here much is that I think quite a lot of solely applies to the typical American girl's mindset, and ignores cultural differences.

However, there are still lessons to be learned here about confidence and the like.

Re: the boot camp. This would definitely not work in Britain. Saying hi to someone my age and male where I live would either get a funny look back, the receiver thinking I am gay, or thinking that I want a fight.

It's a bit of a pity, because I'm sure the boot camp would be very useful in the US.

 

[In Sync]

TK Dude

The English (let's be correct, the BRITISH) do drink a lot. Girls and guys. very few people here meet people without being under the influence of alcohol.

I regularly lose my memory from drinking, for example.

 

[In Sync]

On my viewing, there are two very distinct groups of British girls.

Generalisations coming up...

One group loves the whole black/urban/American scene, watches Big Brother, dyed her hair blonde, listens to R&b and is generally very very immature. I'd just avoid this group.

The other group tends not to be blonde, likes either pop or some kind of rock (I don't mean excessively heavy metal or anything like that), has had a good upbringing, friendly to anyone, but has decent standards and would easily go for a nice guy who also poses a challenge. This type is a lot deeper.

Americans here must realise we don't have all the cultural sub-divisions as strongly as they do. We don't have strong goth groups, jocks, preppies, trendies, etc.. we tend to differentiate by class instead, and that is a very difficult issue for even I as a Brit to get my head around.

 

[Slyder]

In Sync: Myself and DjInTheMaking (my english friend) tried boot camp wk1 today; you're right - it doesn't quite work!

Getting eye contact was fine but saying hi to people feels odd and i'm sure it looks odd too. A shame, because like you say it would work great in the US. How do you think an English boot camp would work?

What is your understanding of the dating rules in the Uk?

 

[Olympian]

Originally posted by In Sync:
On my viewing, there are two very distinct groups of British girls.

Generalisations coming up...

One group loves the whole black/urban/American scene, watches Big Brother, dyed her hair blonde, listens to R&b and is generally very very immature. I'd just avoid this group.

The other group tends not to be blonde, likes either pop or some kind of rock (I don't mean excessively heavy metal or anything like that), has had a good upbringing, friendly to anyone, but has decent standards and would easily go for a nice guy who also poses a challenge. This type is a lot deeper.

Americans here must realise we don't have all the cultural sub-divisions as strongly as they do. We don't have strong goth groups, jocks, preppies, trendies, etc.. we tend to differentiate by class instead, and that is a very difficult issue for even I as a Brit to get my head around.

Okay, the first group is pretty damn f.uckin hard to avoid, cuz they're everywhere man. and it's a damn shame too - some of those chicks just about start to look attractive... then BANG! she decides it's peroxide time and she looks like s.hit. 90% of them look better with their natural hair.

and there aren't serious cultural devides because the kids/people here just don't take initiative, they don't have strong beliefs, very passive and conservative.


[This message has been edited by Olympian (edited 08-28-2002).]

 

[In Sync]

90% of British girls have no beliefs at all apart from wondering when they can next get drunk/go out clubbing/take drugs/have unprotected sex with a complete t**t.

 

[the_gunslinger]

now then fellow uk DJ

basically, from what i;ve spent time observing, it depends what tipe of english girl your after. there, as correctly identified by people more knowlageable than me, that there are different groups of people in different social situations. i have spent time in many of these and will attempt to offer my advice on each group.

Townies: for the love of god man, are you serious? these girls are the slappers and dont need to be DJed apart from the occasional grunt in their direction.

posh girls: from what i;ve seen and witnessed, you have two types of posh girl, the daddies girl who is usually a 6-7 but think of themselves as an 8-9.9. these girls need money more than oxygen, they wont go for the approach of " £6 and thats the date done". spoilt rotten, leave them for the toffs and the helpless saps that hey bludgeon into paying for them every step of the way. the other kind are the down to earth kind. these are like gold dust, but react more favourably to small gestures than their daddie's girl counterparts.

girlie girls: generally high maintainance. usually have some sort of insecurity that makes them unberable in large amounts see the "im FAAAAAAAAAT" post for an example of this. wear pink so their obviously gagging for it though.

indie girls: some tricks dont work on them as my friend discovered to his horror the other weekend. hard to make sence of.

skater chicks: i hate skaters in general (maye its because their taking up all the parking spaces in the carpark with their bloody baggy clothes and stupid bits of wood with wheels on). not that im irrationally predudice in any way....

 

[In Sync]

English myself, I'd say the English to hard to understand.

Now we know that women are hard to understand across the world..

It leaves me scratching my head, that's for sure!

 

[Ronny_Neumonic]

where are u talking about djing girls?

If its just a girl you kinda know through friends or sumthin then the regualer dj principles work. If its a chick you meet in a club then go for it then and there - what have u got to lose. Try inviting a girl you meet out for a few drinks and get her to brings friends for your friends.

then you can establish a rapour(sp?) and evolve into 1 on 1's


its not that hard -

I'm from ireland btw

 

[In Sync]

Whereabouts in Ireland...I'm travelling to Dublin on the 9th of September for a few days holiday.

 

[MysteryWoman]

I rarely ever drink or go clubbing.
But it's true typical English girls aren't the most classiest type of women around.

But then again the typical English man will have you reaching for the gun, I don't know how they can live with themselves they way they are.

 

[Slyder]

UK DJ's: Is a first date best done through common friends, or 1-on-1?

 

[DJSmooth]

I'm from the UK too.

It seems that PUs revolve around pubs and clubs and drinking. Has any UK DJ achieved a PU in a different way?

It seems to me that the American DJs approach away from pubs and clubs to 1) Reduce competition 2) Catch women with shields down.

Would I be right to argue that in the UK its the other way around? I know of girls who seem to have shields on maximum anywhere in public. If you approach you are automatically deemed an insane psycho. The same girls will then go into a nightclub and make out with half a dozen strangers. Or maybe thats just the town I live in. I'm just curious to know if there's an alternative to the alcohol route.

Gunslinger: How do you find the gold dust?

MysteryWoman: What's your experience of English men?

BTW this must make the UK sound really bad to the Americans. At least the castles are good, honest.

 

[In Sync]

And the weather and the beaches. Best in the world.

 

[Olympian]

Originally posted by Slyder:
UK DJ's: Is a first date best done through common friends, or 1-on-1?

No, i don't think it should be that different just cuz it's in UK

if she seems to have high interest - go for 1on1, but if u think she needs a little more loosening up, then try a 'group situation' (u know what i mean)

 

[Olympian]

Originally posted by DJSmooth:
Would I be right to argue that in the UK its the other way around? I know of girls who seem to have shields on maximum anywhere in public. If you approach you are automatically deemed an insane psycho. The same girls will then go into a nightclub and make out with half a dozen strangers. Or maybe thats just the town I live in. I'm just curious to know if there's an alternative to the alcohol route.

It is easier with a wingman or two, when u're approaching a group of girls - they just seem to be more in the mood when there's a group of guys and a group of girls (them).

 

[Slyder]

Do you think UK dating has a txt message culture?

Assuming they even got the number, I reckon a lot of AFC's text girls - to ask for a date and to try flirting. I'm not against txting, but speaking to girls is much more real.

Having said that, has anyone used texts to their advantage?

 

[Fistral]

Here's what ive found with UK girls:

They give EC quite well but not long enough to guage IL sometimes comes with a smile,
Are very stand offish with the cold approach and try to get away or just carry on walking by saying very little to your approach,
Almost 100% certain you wont close with a phone # upon 1st meeting (assuming your cold approach went well),
Wont go on a 1st date 1 on 1 where there is alcohol involved, suggest a group thing instead.

So whats the alternative?

Try to make your target girls the ones where they see you a few times 1st ie. by joining clubs/gyms etc and visit there regularly,
they'll be easier to approach coz they've already seen you around.
Start off with brief small talk for the first few meetings.
Show slight interest, go for the fone # and take it from there,
1st date should ideally be a weekday afternoon without the alcohol (if neither of you are at work).

This seems to have worked for me as well as all the other DJ stuff

Good Luck

P.S. So i think Yes they need to DJ'd differently - Gently and Carefully to begin with

Olympian you're on the ball with this stuff, my friend, any of this ring true for you?

[This message has been edited by Fistral (edited 08-29-2002).]