Disrespectful

[Emart06]

My ex, used to talk about her male friend, a guy who she says she only likes as a friend, yet she talked about him all the time! Story after story after story! This guy dated her sister once in the past and was like a family friend that went on vacations with them and stuff. But she is like obsessed with this guy. She constantly told me about how much she misses him, cuz he was like a big brother. He used to sleep over and jump on her in bed. She must have told me this about 50 times in the year we dated. She said he got a gf and ever since then never called or saw her for a year. And she missed him so much!!!! Finally i got so fed up and i went off on her, im like i dont wanna hear about this guy who i never met all the freakin time! And she says "well im sorry my friends r important to me" "you can't change me". About a week before we broke up she even had the nerve to talk to me about her ex boyfriend (a different dude) and how she was gonna hang out wiht her friends the next nite and he was gonna be there, and she was sooooo nervous cuz she was mean to him 4 years ago. She told me about 5 times that she was "sooooo nervous". And once again i got pissed, and blew up at her. Was i wrong to do this? I used to listen to her talk about her friends male and female for hrs on end, cuz i felt it was the way a good bf should act. There were nights we talked about nothing but her friends. Mostly people she never even introduced me too. and i said nothing, i just acted interested. The last couple months we dated i got tired of it, and bored of it, so i started acting uninterested and changign the subjects. And this is about the time she started to seem to lose interest in me. And then the final week we dated, i blew up and she ended it. She said she had to "find herself", and she wanted us both to date others so knows im the right one. Yet i called her a bunch of times since the breakup and she tells me every time i call that shes going out with these 2 dudes, the family friend and the ex bf, and a few other dudes. Her and about 5 or 6 guys goin out every ngiht to bars and stuff. I kinda got off track here, but my main question is, was i wrong to be pissed at the fact that she metnions how much she misses her "friend" nonstop? SHe thinks i am insecure and jealous, and that im selfish cuz i dont wanna hear about her friends.

 

[TheSplat]

Is the guy older than her? If he is, I'd say she's using him as an example of the "ideal" boyfriend. Yeah, she probably has a little girl crush on him...but it's probably not that big of a deal.

The ex thing isn't a big deal either. We all have ex's and we all get nervous when we're forced to hang out with them in social situations.

So it looks like, while you were right to complain about her behavior, you went about it the completely wrong way and probably scared her off with your actions. Hence the "time off" stage. And I think we all agree that time off = I want to date others but still have you to lean on=single, but not really.

So I'd say dump her and forget about her. Yeah, she'll call for a little while and bother you, but keep busy with your boys and try and find some new girls to hang out with till she gets the hint.

 

[Emart06]

yea hes older, shes 21 hes about 25. Im 25 myself. Maybe i shouldn't date such young chicks. Altho it really aint a big deal only 4 years. I guess i did deal with it wrong, snapping at a girl aint gonna get u anywhere, but when i say she told me this stuff all the time, i mean allllll the time. I would never tell my girlfriend how much i missed another girl. As for the ex thing, yea i can understand her nervousness. But why mention it all night? It was like i wa sone of her gf's. you dont tell ur bf stuff like that all the time. As for that family friend guy, i think ur right about the little girl crush. Cuz he came back into her life 2 weeks before she dumped me. He broke up with his girl last month, and all of sudden hes back in my exes life now. So there is def a connection there, too much of coincidence. my girl was crazy about me, i mean really crazy about me and then it just ended. She doesnt even want me as a firend now, i odnt know if its too painful for her to be friends with me or if it just interferes with her time with this dude.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Do you know why she does this??

It is because you allow it!!!! She is talking to you as if you are a girl - you are too tolerable!

 

[Emart06]

yea but

But when i finally did start ingoring her when she talked about this stuff, or getitng mad at her, she didnt want me anymore. Or was it already too late?