Disaster on the Train - Did I do the Right Thing ?

[englishcrap]

I was on the train this morning and saw this really classy girl in a business suit wearing a long wool jumper (like a robe).

I approached and said "Hey your really cute can I have your contact number and maybe we can meet up for a drink"

She stared at me and didnt say a word..I then said "U must be roasting in that thing"

She then replied "Oh How embarrasing" and she looked away angrily. Everyone in the carriage looked at me and began smirking and saying "This guys a loser man"

I dont understand what I did wrong ? Did I say the wrong thing ? How come she didnt find my joke amusing ?

I felt really **** inside afterwards. Please give me your thoughts. What would u have said ?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She doesn't know you from the engineer of the train, why should she give you her number? Hell, she doesn't even know your name. There's a thing called rapport that does wonders for helping women open up. Without it, you might as well try getting a phone number from a brick wall.

 

[Paintballguy]

You gotta make it seem like your just talking to her without an agenda. Maybe ask her some questions about her wool coat. IE, "hey, thats a nice wool coat you got on. My neice's bday is coming up and that looks like something she would like. What store can I find one like that?" Then, ask her name after a few minutes of chatting. Then you can go for the digits....

 

[SuperFlex]

Originally posted by englishcrap
How come she didnt find my joke amusing ?

What joke?


You seriously expect her to give you her number just because you asked?

You have to have a conversation with a women.

I would have opened the woman in some casual conversation in order to get some rapport. Then created attraction using kino, ****y and funny remarks, and push pull techniques etc (anything i can think of to build attraction). Then i'd number close when i felt comfortable, or when one of us got off the train.

I'm sorry to say it but your approach wreaked of desperation. You need to act as though you could give a **** whether you get the girl or not, you must have looked like you were practically begging.

 

[englishcrap]

Re: Re: Disaster on the Train - Did I do the Right Thing ?

Guys,

Your right I guess but I just didnt know what to say.

This afternoon I made another cold approach on this girl on the train platform and said "Hi havent we met before you look so familiar" She said "Mmmm". I said "Hey you just lost your tongue"

"She looked at me angrily" and then said "I simply do not talk to strangers now please leave me before I call the police"

I was really hurt by this. Am I ugly or somthing ?

How can i learn to develop rapport and humour ?

Originally posted by SuperFlex
What joke?


You seriously expect her to give you her number just because you asked?

You have to have a conversation with a women.

I would have opened the woman in some casual conversation in order to get some rapport. Then created attraction using kino, ****y and funny remarks, and push pull techniques etc (anything i can think of to build attraction). Then i'd number close when i felt comfortable, or when one of us got off the train.

I'm sorry to say it but your approach wreaked of desperation. You need to act as though you could give a **** whether you get the girl or not, you must have looked like you were practically begging.

 

[shrewd]

Re: Re: Re: Disaster on the Train - Did I do the Right Thing ?

Originally posted by englishcrap




I was really hurt by this. Am I ugly or somthing ?

post some pics so we can judge. Other then that it just sounds like you need to stop being so forward, comment on something around you that's noticable to both of you. It can be anything. Then judge from her reaction how to proceed.

 

[dearsappho]

...and stop being hurt by rejection. Have you read the Bible at all?

 

[englishcrap]

Shrewd,

I dont think I am that bad looking. Its a not a good idea I post pics on this forum or if people from work recognise me they are going to callme a looser or somthing.

How do I setup an agenda to talk to a woman ?

Should I say "Hey Nice shoes/jacket " Where can i buy them from ? is this a good subject of conversation to use ?

 

[Desdinova]

Okay, I definately applaud your confidence at approaching these chicks and getting to the point quickly. As others have mentioned, you need to develope some rapport before you go for the close. You need a beginning, a middle, and an end, just like a storybook. Right now all you have is:

Once upon a time, there was a princess, and she lived happily ever after. THE END.

You need to make a bit of conversation first. You're on the right track. Be observant about either what she's wearing, or even your surroundings. Turn that into a conversation. "That's a really nice shirt / necklace / shoes / pants, where did you get that" isn't a bad opener. Or just try starting a conversation about your surroundings "The train is really empty / full / smelly today, isn't it?" Let her respond and build on it if you can. If you can't build on it any more, make an observation about something else and comment on it. "It's pretty cold / warm / rainy / cloudy outside today." Build on that and when she starts to open up, start with c/f. Then go for the close, "I enjoyed chatting with you, why don't you give me your number so we could continue this discussion?"

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Methinks the Englishman is on a wind up.

 

[duke007]

Disaster on the train?

I thought this thread would be about a catastrophic train derailment where our hero englishcrap gamed and number closed a chick while she lay wedged between bits of twisted metal.

ripped off!

 

[defiancy]

that was so rough...you have to approach her in a differnt style

Imagine if you were the girl and some loser approached you asking for a number then suddenly sayign something about what you wear

The "joke" wasnt even close to C+F

hopefully u wont make the same mistake twice

(the convo didnt he flow smoothly...its like asking for a number and saying a lame joke)

 

[englishman]

Originally posted by englishcrap
Shrewd,

Should I say "Hey Nice shoes/jacket " Where can i buy them from ? is this a good subject of conversation to use ?

why do ya want to know where to buy womens shoes?

 

[DJ naruto]

Englishcrap,
you have done what many dj's would shy away from. For this i have nothing but the utmost admiration for your courage. You endured enemy fire, and dodged scharpnels to approach girls who hadn't made any eye contact with you. Great job.
Now that you've got the approaching part semi-down, try and use situational openers-- interesting things in their person-- to open them up. And then build rapport -- i'm workin on this part meself so lata we can compare notes-- and then get the number.


good luck man! stick with that courage... rejection who?? rejection what?? who cares, right

 

[smooth666]

Originally posted by englishcrap
I was on the train this morning and saw this really classy girl in a business suit wearing a long wool jumper (like a robe).

I approached and said "Hey your really cute can I have your contact number and maybe we can meet up for a drink"

She stared at me and didnt say a word..I then said "U must be roasting in that thing"

WTF????
How old are you? How old was she?

1) Never (ever!) tell a woman she is cute!
I did this when I was younger. It was like my no1 mistake I would do wrong all the time. It is an instant turn-off. I just did not get what was wrong until a natural-pua friend of mine told me. Women (at least some of them) want to be cute in a way. But by all means never say nor treat them as if they were cute. It is one of the paradoxes of women,but to me it fuccing makes sense. "Cute" is sth women call men ,not vice versa.

2) You call her "classy".Then you should behave more classy. After being "rejected" do not insult/neg hit girls ("U must be roasting in that thing" ). THIS is like behaving like a fuccing loser. The people are right. You should have walked away.

3) Build rapport first. Try to visualize the situation she is in first. (Going to work?, stressed-out? etc.)

 

[{I}os-Buddha]

Re: Re: Re: Disaster on the Train - Did I do the Right Thing ?

Originally posted by englishcrap
Guys,

Your right I guess but I just didnt know what to say.

This afternoon I made another cold approach on this girl on the train platform and said "Hi havent we met before you look so familiar" She said "Mmmm". I said "Hey you just lost your tongue"

"She looked at me angrily" and then said "I simply do not talk to strangers now please leave me before I call the police"

I was really hurt by this. Am I ugly or somthing ?

How can i learn to develop rapport and humour ?

How could you possibly be hurt by this? Why would you assume she is lying, maybe she has some kind of problem and really doesn't talk to strangers...you know, like she said. I'm not saying always believe what a woman says but why would you tell yourself she is lying just to make yourself feel bad?

 

[johnny_chase]

"Have we met before? You look familiar?" Dude, that is the same old crap that chicks have been hearing for years. They know it's just a lead in, they know it's a cheesy attempt to talk to them.

As soon as they hear this, in their mind their going "Oh crap, another guy i dont know from a hole in the wall is all horny about me, lets tell him to sod off".

You have to build rapport, if you havent got that yet from the hundred other replies about it. Methinks you seem a little like a predator when you talk to these chicks, just a little desperate.

Now, as my advice, i think you need to have more conversations with women. Not to get numbers, just to get relaxed talking to them. They are like dogs, they can pick up on your vibes. They like to talk about the same things that everyone else does(themself, but nothing creepy). For that business woman, you could have asked her what she did for looking so good, or made a wise a$$ comment about just talking to her so you could get a job with Trump, because she looks so sharp she must work for him. Dont try too hard and dott be too forward, because then it is obvious, like the "have we met" thing. The girl is thinking, okay, this guy wants to talk to me, but is that the best sh1t he can come up with?

Just sit down next to one on the train, observe for a while, then just bring something up. Let her do most of the talking, and if she dont want to talk, just leave it. If you do get to talking however, introduce yourself after a minute or so, if she dosent beat you to the punch. You need at least eight to ten minutes of good convo in a situation like that if you want to get a number. Like, "oh, this is my stop, but you are so interesting, can i get your email/number/contact?"

 

[Delta]

i am an afc and i see what you're doing wrong.

in BOTH cases, when "challenged" with a response, you PICKED on her.

it's very much like the previews for the new will smith date doctor movie "HITCH" - where the guy gets diet coke splashed all over him because he asked a girl if she's drinking diet coke (it implies that she needs to be on a diet).

when you say she must be roasting, you're picking on something that i'm beginning to see as being an ANATHEMA to women:

BEING OUT OF PLACE AND/OR INAPPROPRIATE. especially in terms of DRESS!

they hate this in men and they are terrified of this for themselves.

in the second example, you created the pick up situation and then attacked her on her awkwardness in responding.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DO A PICK UP BY MAKING A JOKE OF ANY KIND AT H * E * R E * X P * E * N * S * E !!!!

making an approach is an IMPOSITION INTO HER WORLD but an acceptable one. this is the way of men and women after all.

but when the first words out of your mouth are insulting in the slightest, you're out!
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also, if there were so many people around and in such a proximity that they could actually make fun of you afterward, you may consider not being in a situation where you have a fvcking AUDIENCE!!!

that alone may be enough for girls to just shut you down so that you don't embarass her!

what the other guys are saying about building rapport and talking on innocuous subjects and NOT being overt in the pickup is essential in a situation when others are in earshot.

but if she's willing to give you the time of day on an harmless subject, you could maybe whisper to get her number later and that would be a good opportunity to kino and such as well.

and if she shuts you down to conversation, then you also gave the mocking crowd no ammunition to slay your ego too.

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finally,

ask the hard questions:

what kind of guy do you come off as? are you just a regular joe or are you in some way foppish? how is your dress? is it at least within throwing distance of the caliber of clothing that the women are wearing?

no cause is hopeless so don't be afraid to be honest - if not with us - then yourself.

but as on a map, you gotta know where you are before you can get to where you wanna be.

delta