Dilemma

[Desdinova]

So I've got this dilemma that's come up. First of all, a little bit of background.

Back in April, one of my gf's favorite band's tickets went on sale. I like them too, so I went ahead and bought the tickets (nice seats too), but I never told her I bought them. I figured that if she was a good gf and we stayed together for a year, I'd let her know I have them for our 1 year anniversary. If not, then I'd take a good friend of mine.

So, I've been able to keep this a secret. Our one year is mid-September. The concert is in November.

She told me tonight that her brother-in-law might be able to score tickets at a good price from some website (albeit 5hitty seats) for him and her to go. I'm really starting to think that he's got a boner for her. He's always doing 5hit for her. I was almost ready to spill the beans and tell her "Okay, well you can go with him and I'll take my buddy Jake instead" but I kept quiet.

I'm almost thinking to pull him aside when I see him again and let him know that I already got tickets. However, I don't really know how well I can trust him and her sister to keep a secret like that. I've got the gut feeling that they'd let her know I got the tickets.

I'm aiming for maximum effect when it comes to a surprise. Should I let the douche buy the tickets and then let her know I've got better ones? Or should I risk telling him I already have them and ruin the surprise?

 

[jhl]

Just tell him that you have different plans during that time and she won't be able to go (aka your mother's birthday and she's gotta go with you or something) then pull the surprise on her.

 

[Desdinova]

That has the high potential to backfire. He's certainly going to tell her that I said to not buy her the tickets.

Why do I have to have guys randomly buying my gf 5hit that I've already bought for her? I could understand if her birthday's coming up, but it's not. Plus, he might want her to pay him back for the ticket.

 

[Married Buried]

Just tell her the truth you got the tickets already. Why keep it a big secret? Sounds like a dumb idea.

 

[disgustipated]

Pull the guy aside, tell him look, my anny is here I'm surprising my gf...don't buy the tickets please, and DON'T tell her...don't say please on the last one...give a serious tone, stern or serious look. If dude tells her, you're within your rights to go ape**** on him or whoever wants to take up for him. Not cool.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Yep, I'd bring him into the circle of trust and if he betrays that, well never speak to the fvckwit again.

 

[betheman]

why is she even entertaining him? its obvious he wants to f ccuk her?
let her go with him, get another woman to go with you, see how the f cucker likes that

 

[Desdinova]

why is she even entertaining him? its obvious he wants to f ccuk her?
let her go with him, get another woman to go with you, see how the f cucker likes that

WTF? She has no interest in him.

She was raised with strong family values so she's going to see it as nothing more than her brother-in-law being nice to her.

I'll have to contact him on FB since I'm probably not going to see him until at least the weekend if not later. Thanks for the input.

 

[ebracer05]

You have to be careful here. From your OP, like betheman implied, I thought you suspected implied interest from your GF.

I wouldn't trust the guy with any information you didn't want to get back to your GF. It's also obvious that you are disturbed about this on some level and saying things like:

"Okay, well you can go with him and I'll take my buddy Jake instead"

Depending on how you said it and how she interpreted it, that has the potential to come across a number of negative ways, maybe defensive and preemptively retaliatory. If she is really naive to what's going on you have to think about how she is going to frame and interpret the things you say. IMO there are times when a man needs to lay down the law, get upset, and be self righteously defensive (in a non needy way of course) of what is his - his woman. However, you do not have a "smoking gun" and so I do not think reaction is the position you wan to come from. It doesn't really sound like anything has happened besides her brother in law trying to buy your GF's vagina, which would p*ss me off too.

You have a couple options:

Option 1:
You could let the f*ggot buy the tickets anyways and later on, insist that your girl come with you. I don't think this is a good idea because your GF will know you let him do that and essentially set him up to waste his money and plan for something that you knew was never going to happen. That makes you look like a d*ck. It also puts her in a position where she will have to choose, and she'll choose you, but you say you're doing this for your girl because you like her. It's a reward of sorts. Why would you want to f*ck it up with a bunch of negative feelings like that?

Option 2:
You could tell the guy you already bought the tickets, but that will almost surely ruin the surprise factor. If he's really a d*ck he could still go out and buy the tickets and put you in the same position as you would be in in the first scenario.

Option 3:
You could tell your GF not to go with him. Yea, it's her favorite band and women like that kind of stuff so she'll probably be disappointed and maybe confused if you don't offer a reason. You can either make up a reason, you can say you can't tell her yet (which has the potential to clue her in on what's going on), or you can just say you don't want her to go. In this case, you will probably doubly surprise her because she will think she isn't going to the concert (unless you happen to give her a hint) and then all of a sudden she'll find out she is going.

Option 4:
And lastly, you could always just be honest with her, but then you will not have the surprise factor and thoughtful gesture will probably have less impact than it otherwise would have if it has been a legitimate surprise.

I like option 3 the best personally. I would just tell her not to go and probably wouldn't offer a reason. That would stir up some short term drama that would eventually go away and might even bring things to a head with that guy. If he pushes the issue, no you have a good reason to have a conversation with him about getting the f*ck out the business between you and your GF. It will probably create some minimal tension between you and your GF you can use to your advantage. It will reaffirm your role as the leader and give her an opportunity to submit. And finally, you said you wanted to maximize the surprise value - well, it doesn't get anymore surprising than you telling her she isn't going to go and then BOOM, having the tickets.

That's my 2 cents.

 

[Desdinova]

I messaged her sister and let her know the scoop with the tickets. If she's a good sister, she won't say a word. Also, she wears the pants in the house, so he's likely not going to say anything.

And with regards to her brother-in-law liking her, I'm not concerned. The guy's a major AFC. He recently bought a pink little girl's swimming pool solely because it was on sale at Walmart. They don't have any kids. He actually put water in it and used it himself :crackup: