y0ungt0ngue
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2012
- Messages
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Background information, I work with her, she's older than me, has young kids which I've met, 9 out of 10 in my eyes, is also a widow, and has broken up with a recent boyfriend of 1 year about 3 months ago... Baggage is off through the roof, but hey, I like a good challenge!
Make no mistake though, I really like this girl and can take all on-board.
So we've been flirting for a very long time, even when she was with her ex boyfriend, he was a bit of a lame duck and it was only a matter of time before they were finished, he dumped her though, so she went through the distress and lack of confidence after that.
I have always been genuine and offered her friendship first, she opened up about her past to me, and felt like we were getting closer.
About myself, I am confident and experienced sexually with women, call me an Alpha if you may in some situations, she oozes some of that sexual confidence also, which is probably why there was strong chemistry in the first place.
We have been out in social situations a couple of times, having a good time, getting drunk and all, not afraid of physical touch of course, she would kiss me on the lips goodbye at the end of the night... and naturally run off to her boyfriend after, didn't really bother me, he wasn't going to last... and she has already been reprimanded by him already because she was dancing too close to me, attraction seems like it was in my court... (could be wrong...)
Now I realise of course, I could have been softening the transition for her during the whole breakup process, but a girl like that will get snapped up quickly.
Anyways, took a while, and when they broke up, I would escalate. Made my intentions known to her, we had discussed sex many times, and she definitely needed some post break up.
Her impressions were that maybe it was just going to be a no strings attached fling, but I wanted something more, which she was a little confused to her that, she said, she wasn't looking for a relationship, but was seeing other people, and didn't want to be tied down to anyone person right now.
I'll skip other details, but finally one night she let me come over to her place, it was awkward at first, but I'm very assertive and not shy, we made out... (best kisses, she really enjoyed it, I can tell...) ... I must admit, sex wasn't the greatest because I really wasn't sure of her commitment levels, so I had too much going on in my mind, but I did explore her body very well like a DJ would... lot's of talking, felt like I really just wanted to connect emotionally, but she just wasn't on that level of intimacy... she kept saying she wasn't interested in me etc... (nice way to kill the mood really...)
Anyways, that was that, text her the next morning, jokingly about last night, she was receptive, and replied with "Good Morning!"...
Saw her at work on the Monday, she was a bit dressed up and noticeable a bit chirpier than usual. I played it cool, as you really don't know what to expect.
Tuesday evening came, and I get a texted from her "I know you're probably asleep, but I wanted to say I had a good time on Friday, I'm sorry I was tired".
I replied the normal caring and understanding way.
A few more days passed, she started hinting about sex again via IM, I texted her after saying I couldn't wait to kiss her again, she replied "Really? I thought you regretted it" ... I was like "no way, what made you think that?" In which she replied how it all happened... (I suppose the awkward parts...)
Anyways, I had already set up a date, and when I asked if she was looking forward to it, she said "I am
"
I thought I was doing OK so far, although I do not know how she got the impression of why I didn't enjoy my time with her.
So what happens after? She flakes out on me for the date, says she has no romantic interest in me, and that feeling has never changed.
I was a furious and confused, didn't talk to her for a few days or so, just to get my bearings straightened again... but I decided to eventually call her up on that... I think she was feeling a bit down and depressed then for her usual reasons... she unleashed on me...
Few things said... she was never interested and never will be, as far as she's concerned nothing happened between us, and she doesn't linger on these things, I hassled her and she was doing me a favour by letting me over that night... leave her alone or it will be a HR issue at work... she is seeing other people and she has been point blank to me about it.
WTF!!! I'm shocked, she thinks she is doing me a favour? but she thanks me for a good time???
Don't disrespect me like that! and threaten me at work...!!!
I still acted and responded calmly, she's overreacting, wished her all the best with the other guys and hope they make her happy... I texted the next morning, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel this way, I won't bother you again."
She responds "I wasn't upset or angry, so there's no need to be sorry, have a nice weekend."
I didn't reply... pfft, NO CONTACT for a couple of weeks now, I don't even look at her at work, she's getting what she asked for, and I'm not into playing games.
Thoughts? What am I dealing with here?
Make no mistake though, I really like this girl and can take all on-board.
So we've been flirting for a very long time, even when she was with her ex boyfriend, he was a bit of a lame duck and it was only a matter of time before they were finished, he dumped her though, so she went through the distress and lack of confidence after that.
I have always been genuine and offered her friendship first, she opened up about her past to me, and felt like we were getting closer.
About myself, I am confident and experienced sexually with women, call me an Alpha if you may in some situations, she oozes some of that sexual confidence also, which is probably why there was strong chemistry in the first place.
We have been out in social situations a couple of times, having a good time, getting drunk and all, not afraid of physical touch of course, she would kiss me on the lips goodbye at the end of the night... and naturally run off to her boyfriend after, didn't really bother me, he wasn't going to last... and she has already been reprimanded by him already because she was dancing too close to me, attraction seems like it was in my court... (could be wrong...)
Now I realise of course, I could have been softening the transition for her during the whole breakup process, but a girl like that will get snapped up quickly.
Anyways, took a while, and when they broke up, I would escalate. Made my intentions known to her, we had discussed sex many times, and she definitely needed some post break up.
Her impressions were that maybe it was just going to be a no strings attached fling, but I wanted something more, which she was a little confused to her that, she said, she wasn't looking for a relationship, but was seeing other people, and didn't want to be tied down to anyone person right now.
I'll skip other details, but finally one night she let me come over to her place, it was awkward at first, but I'm very assertive and not shy, we made out... (best kisses, she really enjoyed it, I can tell...) ... I must admit, sex wasn't the greatest because I really wasn't sure of her commitment levels, so I had too much going on in my mind, but I did explore her body very well like a DJ would... lot's of talking, felt like I really just wanted to connect emotionally, but she just wasn't on that level of intimacy... she kept saying she wasn't interested in me etc... (nice way to kill the mood really...)
Anyways, that was that, text her the next morning, jokingly about last night, she was receptive, and replied with "Good Morning!"...
Saw her at work on the Monday, she was a bit dressed up and noticeable a bit chirpier than usual. I played it cool, as you really don't know what to expect.
Tuesday evening came, and I get a texted from her "I know you're probably asleep, but I wanted to say I had a good time on Friday, I'm sorry I was tired".
I replied the normal caring and understanding way.
A few more days passed, she started hinting about sex again via IM, I texted her after saying I couldn't wait to kiss her again, she replied "Really? I thought you regretted it" ... I was like "no way, what made you think that?" In which she replied how it all happened... (I suppose the awkward parts...)
Anyways, I had already set up a date, and when I asked if she was looking forward to it, she said "I am
"I thought I was doing OK so far, although I do not know how she got the impression of why I didn't enjoy my time with her.
So what happens after? She flakes out on me for the date, says she has no romantic interest in me, and that feeling has never changed.
I was a furious and confused, didn't talk to her for a few days or so, just to get my bearings straightened again... but I decided to eventually call her up on that... I think she was feeling a bit down and depressed then for her usual reasons... she unleashed on me...
Few things said... she was never interested and never will be, as far as she's concerned nothing happened between us, and she doesn't linger on these things, I hassled her and she was doing me a favour by letting me over that night... leave her alone or it will be a HR issue at work... she is seeing other people and she has been point blank to me about it.
WTF!!! I'm shocked, she thinks she is doing me a favour? but she thanks me for a good time???
Don't disrespect me like that! and threaten me at work...!!!
I still acted and responded calmly, she's overreacting, wished her all the best with the other guys and hope they make her happy... I texted the next morning, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry if I did anything to make you feel this way, I won't bother you again."
She responds "I wasn't upset or angry, so there's no need to be sorry, have a nice weekend."
I didn't reply... pfft, NO CONTACT for a couple of weeks now, I don't even look at her at work, she's getting what she asked for, and I'm not into playing games.
Thoughts? What am I dealing with here?
