My last ex, I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about at this point, was the best....absolutely the best for the first year. After a year (@6 months living together), she snooped through my journal. I was a few words away from bouncing her. I can't believe I didn't. I should have trusted my emotions then. Things did get better, and were great(not perfect like the first year) but great for another year and a half. The last year was a rollercoaster.
Hithard, I don't think one should ever try to change a woman. If she's fat, don't date her. If she smokes, well that's up to you. If you find out something is wrong, you are going to be the one who has to deal with it. I dated a girl for a short time right after I broke up with the ex. She was cute, and on our second date, I looked down to see her toe ring. When I did, I swear the smell knocked me out. It was repulsive. I wasn't as in to her after that, and it screwed up the whole dynamic.
Do your thing, and if they want to be around you, they will. Trust your emotions. Trust them please. They are there for a reason, and if you don't like what your feeling, something is definitely wrong.