Did this new to the game coach give good or bad advice?

[needimprovement250]

I just turned 31 and the other day I came across this video that’s relevant to my situation, but I disagree with this guy’s advice and so did most others who wrote replies to it, so I wanted to see what everyone here thinks. This video comes from a guy named TC Prime who is trying to make it as a dating coach and hasn’t been at it very long apparently since he has less than 1K subs. He’s reacting to a TikTok video from a guy who went on a first date with a girl from Hinge and she brought up the subject of relationship history, he decided to be honest and told her that he’s never had a girlfriend. She responded by laughing a bit and saying that even her 11 year old cousin has already had 2 girlfriends. He texted her and the end of the night to ask her out again, but she ghosted him. He later looked at her Hinge profile again and saw that she added a new prompt that said her most irrational fear is being someone’s first girlfriend.

TC Prime’s advice is to lie and make up a fake relationship history, and most people disagreed because of moral issues from dishonesty and others because actions speak louder than words and your inexperience will show to any women with experience, so she’ll be able to figure out you lied pretty easily, I agree with the latter stance and disagree with TC Prime.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I disagree with both. Why would you speak about this?

Of course, women rarely ask me about my relationship history, but if they would, I'd ask them what they're after. Because the quantity often has no bearing on the quality, so what does someone want to learn?

Is it better to have a low number or a high number? Is someone who bedded 80 women better in bed than someone who bedded 15 women? Where is the line where it becomes irrelevant? Where is the point where it becomes embarrassing (you had 1600 women? what are you, a porn star)?

If you don't act like a virgin, how is a woman going to know you are a virgin?

 

[BPH]

Here's my philosophy: be honest, but don't overshare.

Lying is always going to be a bad idea...you forget your own lies and it usually comes back to bite you later.

Deflecting the question, like what @AmsterdamAssassin suggests is something that is also a bad idea. Being defensive often raises more concerns than it alleviates; "Why is it such a big deal? Is it a really high number? Is it a really low number? Is he hiding something? Am I his first or 1000th?"

People will definitely disagree with me on this one, but honesty is best. All of my exes know my body count - and it is high - and guess what...it wasn't a dealbreaker for any of them...they EXPECTED it to be high. This will often come across in how you carry yourself, how well you kiss, how good you are in bed, etc.

This does NOT mean overshare. What I mean is I haven't seen the TikTok, but it sounds like they were talking about relationship history and this guy OFFERED the information that he had never had a girlfriend. Imagine if I were with a girl and she tells me she hasn't had sex in a while...I don't have to tell them I had sex just last week, or that I had been with dozens of others...

I can agree with her statement and move on ("oh it's been a while? then I guess we'll have to change that"), or I can answer vaguely ("my relationship history? well the pandemic ruined a lot of fun places so I haven't really been out in a while"). If she continues to press the issue and tries to be invasive you can just turn it back on her and tell her it's private and she'll have to get to know you first.

That's just my 2 cents, speaking from experience.

 

[SW15]

Here's my philosophy: be honest, but don't overshare.

That's a great philosophy. You can definitely omit information and that can help.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Deflecting the question, like what @AmsterdamAssassin suggests is something that is also a bad idea. Being defensive often raises more concerns than it alleviates; "Why is it such a big deal? Is it a really high number? Is it a really low number? Is he hiding something? Am I his first or 1000th?"

I don't mean 'deflecting the question', but 'questioning the question'. I don't mind answering intelligent questions, but with some questions I wonder whether it's the right question to ask depending on what you really want to know.

By questioning the question I mostly turn the conversation's 'questionnaire dynamic' into a dialogue on the validity of statistical information: is it more important to know how many women I banged or whether these women were high/low quality?

It's the tone that makes the music. If you cannot do this without sounding defensive, perhaps this isn't the best course to take.

 

[corrector]

No woman knows about my relationship history at work, and I don't think it's any woman's business to know that. It's a subject that is just irrelevant. I just focus on my job and making sales and doing what I need to do on a day to day and let the days, months and years pass by. I have had all sort of interactions with women, except that one. Yet that's the one thing that you have a problem with and it's a reoccuring theme.

At the end of the day I don't think anybody really cares about your relationship history, but what you can do for them. We both have likely body issues where we have not looksmaxxed or gymmaxxed. If we both look great, then people will assume we have a history.

 

[Agamemnon43]

Your tone and demeanor should be the answer.

Her: "How many relationships have you had"?

You (with a smirk) "Relationships? Is that when... when a man and a woman get naked together? Sounds very interesting... "

There's your answer.

Everyone has the right to privacy and asking that question is a bit of a diggin into your own intimate life. It's rude. Never reveal your count to a woman, or your virginity.
Obviously women in LTR will do everything to dig it up, but you gotta stay strong and determined. If she respects you (like she should), eventually she should shut up about it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

If your goal is to attract high-quality people into your life, it behooves you to be conscientious of what you say, the manner in which you say it, who you keep company with, and how you look when out in public

We're living through one of those weird periods in history where acting on whatever emotion or urge one is experiencing at the moment is mistaken for "authenticity"

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

We're living through one of those weird periods in history where acting on whatever emotion or urge one is experiencing at the moment is mistaken for "authenticity"

Or 'spontaneity'.

Cute if you're a girl, but I don't respect or trust a man lacking emotional self control.

Call me oldskool, but a mercurial temperament is for women. Men ought to be emotionally stable.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Cute if you're a girl...

And even that has it's limits