Did self growth make you tougher?

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
I'm just curious if trying to strengthen up your mind made you more tough with regards to other guys?

I've had a bunch of situations where women see how I am and they got crazy turned on by it. Or maybe I just think they did?

Once on the bus 5 guys were throwing metal **** at me for no reason so I walked back to them and slammed the one guys head into the window and then sat beside him and intimidated them all. A lot of girls later found out about this cause my brother always tells that story.

This one super hot girl after she found out about that she used to always catch upto me when I was walking and go right infront of me and walk really slow with her skirt hiked up. But back then I didnt have the guts to talk to her. It was only about a year after I started working on my mind. So like 19 years ago.

I've never really heard about this so I was just wondering if it translates to attraction?

But theres been a bunch of stuff like this for me.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,555
Reaction score
5,083
Location
Bridgeport, CT
One only gets tougher by pain and discomfort. Whether that be mental, emotional, or physical, as those wounds heal, the person will get tougher and tougher. That's how all animals learn to survive. After all, we're all part of the animal kingdom.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Does self-growth make you tougher?
Absolutely. This isn't to imply that those that are thick-minded aren't tough, but they are only tough on one dimension.

Is this a turn-on to women?
This depends on the woman. While true that women want to be with someone that makes them feel protected... they also seem to want you to be Gandhi when it's between you and another man.

I've never had a woman break off things when I've stepped up to the plate with a combative dude... but more than once, they've behaved cold and distant for a few hours following. This isn't because women have had any reason to fear me or anything. Again, I think it depends on the woman (I tend to date philosophical and/or women that have Buddhist type leanings).
 

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
Does self-growth make you tougher?
Absolutely. This isn't to imply that those that are thick-minded aren't tough, but they are only tough on one dimension.

Is this a turn-on to women?
This depends on the woman. While true that women want to be with someone that makes them feel protected... they also seem to want you to be Gandhi when it's between you and another man.

I've never had a woman break off things when I've stepped up to the plate with a combative dude... but more than once, they've behaved cold and distant for a few hours following. This isn't because women have had any reason to fear me or anything. Again, I think it depends on the woman (I tend to date philosophical and/or women that have Buddhist type leanings).
Yeah I want a girl that's super into self growth as much as I am
 

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
One only gets tougher by pain and discomfort. Whether that be mental, emotional, or physical, as those wounds heal, the person will get tougher and tougher. That's how all animals learn to survive. After all, we're all part of the animal kingdom.
Yeah that's kinda something I did. I purposely got rejected for a while as much as I could. So that I would feel nothing and have better responses to **** tests
 

TheProspect

Moderator
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Messages
897
Reaction score
1,816
There’s an expression that goes “tough times makes tough people”, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Tough times can just as easily break a person. Two people will respond to the same circumstances difgerrly

From my perspective, it’s a person’s disposition that determines how they respond to adversity and tough situations, which is based on their genetics and conditioning, both of which are largely external factors.

Obviously we can’t change such factors, for the most part. A way to build mental toughness that has worked for me is to voluntarily put myself through stressful situations. Think David Goggins.

Does self-growth make you tougher?
Absolutely. This isn't to imply that those that are thick-minded aren't tough, but they are only tough on one dimension.

Is this a turn-on to women?
This depends on the woman. While true that women want to be with someone that makes them feel protected... they also seem to want you to be Gandhi when it's between you and another man.

I've never had a woman break off things when I've stepped up to the plate with a combative dude... but more than once, they've behaved cold and distant for a few hours following. This isn't because women have had any reason to fear me or anything. Again, I think it depends on the woman (I tend to date philosophical and/or women that have Buddhist type leanings).
My experience is similar, in that it seems to depend on the woman how they respond to such behaviour.

I was violent as a teenager and was in many altercations. It build me a reputation. Some girls seemed attracted to the reputation, whereas some I met wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

If I recall, the girls that were attracted to that behaviour in most cases weren’t the ones you’d ideally want to be in a LTR with. The ones who were, generally stayed clear of me.

I think women prefer a more socially calibrated bad boy. One who has the capacity and willingness to physically handle a situation, but also has the self-restraint to not be an unpredictable meathead acting out of ego & insecurity.
 

RickTheToad

Moderator
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6,555
Reaction score
5,083
Location
Bridgeport, CT
Yeah that's kinda something I did. I purposely got rejected for a while as much as I could. So that I would feel nothing and have better responses to **** tests
It's called being numb to a situation. After something has such a dramatic effect on a person, negative or positive, they are not phased by it happening again. Be it walking away from a relationship or starting another successful business. You already been through the experience or trauma, so it's effect becomes less and less as you experience it more an more.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
1,153
Reaction score
1,889
Age
34
I'm just curious if trying to strengthen up your mind made you more tough with regards to other guys?

I've had a bunch of situations where women see how I am and they got crazy turned on by it. Or maybe I just think they did?

Once on the bus 5 guys were throwing metal **** at me for no reason so I walked back to them and slammed the one guys head into the window and then sat beside him and intimidated them all. A lot of girls later found out about this cause my brother always tells that story.

This one super hot girl after she found out about that she used to always catch upto me when I was walking and go right infront of me and walk really slow with her skirt hiked up. But back then I didnt have the guts to talk to her. It was only about a year after I started working on my mind. So like 19 years ago.

I've never really heard about this so I was just wondering if it translates to attraction?

But theres been a bunch of stuff like this for me.
There's an infinite number of things you can strengthen mentally. The brain's philosophy is 'use it or lose it', and you'll improve in whatever you use continuously.

If you practice weak thoughts you'll get better at feeling/showing weakness, and if you practice empowering thoughts you'll get better at feeling/showing strength.

Typically men gauge you by how self aware you come off. If you seem extremely in tune with the environment, you're cut, you speak concisely, and you have a reserved but alert demeanor, then most men that can pick up on your aura will be too intimidated to seriously mess with you.

If you're extremely self aware then you'll disarm them with your words. Not with threats, but by finding common ground and camaraderie. A silver tongue can cast powerful spells.

And if it comes to violence you're swift and don't hesitate.

Lots of sluts enjoy a man that isn't afraid to stand up for himself, especially to them. They get off to feeling that IDGAF attitude oozing out of him. He's a man they feel they have to chase, because he's not simping to them like so many others. He's higher value by default.

It's a very raw manifestation of hypergamy. The less inhibited the girl, the more she pursues the bad boy. The less inhibited the man, the less attached he is to everything, and thus the more creativity he allows himself to express.

The true nature of the uninhibited man is pursuing his passions relentlessly and never growing attached to any of them. He's already at peace with the consequences of any decision. A walking enigma and a true badas$.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Yeah that's kinda something I did. I purposely got rejected for a while as much as I could. So that I would feel nothing and have better responses to **** tests
If you have a lady getting "rejected" by others does nothing to you. If you are all alone, keep forcing yourself into situations which aren't going to work out and getting rejected will shred your self esteem and train you for failure.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
If you have a lady getting "rejected" by others does nothing to you. If you are all alone, keep forcing yourself into situations which aren't going to work out and getting rejected will shred your self esteem and train you for failure.
Nah I disagree. I've found being alone is the best time to grow for me. Being in a relationship adds a fake level of self esteem. When alone I've had huge growth
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
I'm just curious if trying to strengthen up your mind made you more tough with regards to other guys?

I've had a bunch of situations where women see how I am and they got crazy turned on by it. Or maybe I just think they did?

Once on the bus 5 guys were throwing metal **** at me for no reason so I walked back to them and slammed the one guys head into the window and then sat beside him and intimidated them all. A lot of girls later found out about this cause my brother always tells that story.

This one super hot girl after she found out about that she used to always catch upto me when I was walking and go right infront of me and walk really slow with her skirt hiked up. But back then I didnt have the guts to talk to her. It was only about a year after I started working on my mind. So like 19 years ago.

I've never really heard about this so I was just wondering if it translates to attraction?

But theres been a bunch of stuff like this for me.
Violence is retarded. unless life or death, protect yourself, etc it's a waste.

We're in for hard times.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,885
Reaction score
12,121
Location
DFW, TX
Nah I disagree. I've found being alone is the best time to grow for me. Being in a relationship adds a fake level of self esteem. When alone I've had huge growth
Many of us DO have huge growth alone, because "relating" takes time and focus. You'll find that balancing the two is a trip, because if your goal driven and a bastard to be around, or a addictive social juice that can't focus on anything for long at all.

I wouldn't say relationship esteem is fake esteem at all. It's parts of your psyche that get fed in that scenario.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
Nah I disagree. I've found being alone is the best time to grow for me. Being in a relationship adds a fake level of self esteem. When alone I've had huge growth
I agree. I know guys lift, get aesthetic, and build a tribe. The sec a semi not busted girl comes these chumps flee. It's radio silence. That is until she cucks and dumps his stupid ass. I know a guy nearly 30 finally got a gf. He thinks he can pull. It's hilarious. she's a 6 at best and she's been around.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,716
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
There’s an expression that goes “tough times makes tough people”, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Tough times can just as easily break a person. Two people will respond to the same circumstances difgerrly

From my perspective, it’s a person’s disposition that determines how they respond to adversity and tough situations, which is based on their genetics and conditioning, both of which are largely external factors.

Obviously we can’t change such factors, for the most part. A way to build mental toughness that has worked for me is to voluntarily put myself through stressful situations. Think David Goggins.
Agree.

Going off on tangent here...

What I've often thought about (and this is just my own armchair/bro psych theory) is that repeated exposure alone to what you fear doesn't necessarily destroy that fear. You need to change your mindset about it at the same time.

Let's say you face your fear (by performing the action/facing the situation) but you continue to think negatively as you do so. For example, "This sucks. Why does this happen to me? Why do I have to deal with this? I can't handle this." Wouldn't that just REINFORCE your anxiety about those situations? I'm not sure that the repeated exposures will help you at all. I think it would just dig a deeper hole for yourself. (It doesn't matter if you got through it successfully at the end several times. Your brain is still associating those situations with anxiety.)

On the other hand, let's say you face your fear with a positive/constructive (or at least neutral) mindset like, "I got this. It's doable, etc." Then I could see how you could train your brain to get used to it and probably lower the anxiety. Then the repeated exposure can be helpful.

TLDR: Don't "brute force" your way though a fearful situation while continuing to think about how terrible it is lol. You are stepping on the gas and brake at the same time.
 
Last edited:

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,378
Reaction score
1,767
It's called being numb to a situation. After something has such a dramatic effect on a person, negative or positive, they are not phased by it happening again. Be it walking away from a relationship or starting another successful business. You already been through the experience or trauma, so it's effect becomes less and less as you experience it more an more.
Desensitisation. Beautiful post.
 

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,378
Reaction score
1,767
I'm just curious if trying to strengthen up your mind made you more tough with regards to other guys?

I've had a bunch of situations where women see how I am and they got crazy turned on by it. Or maybe I just think they did?

Once on the bus 5 guys were throwing metal **** at me for no reason so I walked back to them and slammed the one guys head into the window and then sat beside him and intimidated them all. A lot of girls later found out about this cause my brother always tells that story.

This one super hot girl after she found out about that she used to always catch upto me when I was walking and go right infront of me and walk really slow with her skirt hiked up. But back then I didnt have the guts to talk to her. It was only about a year after I started working on my mind. So like 19 years ago.

I've never really heard about this so I was just wondering if it translates to attraction?

But theres been a bunch of stuff like this for me.
Mentally, pushing through problems and finding solution increases confidence and fortitude.

Physically, lifting heavy weights for your life, makes your stronger more muscular.

Gotta walk through fire buddy.

I'm thinking of using meditation as another tool and looking for resources to get started.

Great post keep such posts coming.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,261
Reaction score
4,763
Age
44
I'm just curious if trying to strengthen up your mind made you more tough with regards to other guys?

I've had a bunch of situations where women see how I am and they got crazy turned on by it. Or maybe I just think they did?

Once on the bus 5 guys were throwing metal **** at me for no reason so I walked back to them and slammed the one guys head into the window and then sat beside him and intimidated them all. A lot of girls later found out about this cause my brother always tells that story.

This one super hot girl after she found out about that she used to always catch upto me when I was walking and go right infront of me and walk really slow with her skirt hiked up. But back then I didnt have the guts to talk to her. It was only about a year after I started working on my mind. So like 19 years ago.

I've never really heard about this so I was just wondering if it translates to attraction?

But theres been a bunch of stuff like this for me.
When guys throw metal at me I just bang their heads together and then rip off my t shirt and laugh like a maniac. If anything, it scares women away though.
 

Kitty652

New Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
5
Reaction score
5
Age
38
Of course, self-development makes you stronger. You become more confident in yourself, emotionally stronger than others. Sometimes so much so that you can control others.
 
Top