Did I take it too far?

[Xenon]

Text exchange with GF (8+ months). I planned dinner + drinks for tomorrow (Saturday) night and she wants to know where we are going. I only told her what to wear so far, but am wondering if I have taken this too far (i.e, not telling her where we are going).

Her: where are we going to dinner? And where are we going after dinner? And what time is dinner? Please answer all questions in full detail.

Me: a place that serves food, a place that serves drinks

Her: does this place have music? you know I don't like to dance. and by drinks...alcohol? juice? water? slushies? there's so many different types of drinks!

Me: oh i think you like to dance. don't worry, i won't judge. and i'm pretty sure they have shirley temples at this place WITH umbrellas

Her: ooo perfect! but for srs, what kind of place is it? i need to know. and i'm not the one who should be worried you dork!!!

Me: lol we'll just see about that.

Her: WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING

Me: do what?

Her: tell me where we're going/what we're doing for and after dinner. notice the lack of question mark at the end of that text. It is a command. Please

Me: do what?

Her: Bye

Me: alright brat, i'll tell you

Her: Tell me!!!!

Too much? I hate texting, don't know why I do it.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

Her: tell me where we're going/what we're doing for and after dinner. notice the lack of question mark at the end of that text. It is a command. Please

do you see the problem here?

 

[TheException]

do you see the problem here?

I actually dont think its a big deal. I like OP response. Amused mastery. I cant help but laugh when girls say stuff like that. Its legit funny.

As far as dragging out mystery, im not a big fan really. I dont think mystery is something that should be done overtly, as it comes off looking like a try-hard and your doing it all for her. Ill say things like "We're hanging out tuesday...be sure to look photogenic". Girl will usually respond back with something like "any clues to where we going?" And ill just respond "not a single one" and be done with it. Change the subject, evade, etc and then when you guys on en route you can tell her, but dont make it gay like "sooooo im finally gonna tell you where we're going" just be like "have you ever ate at xyz?" and get back to normal conversation.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

do you see the problem here?

I actually dont think its a big deal. I like OP response. Amused mastery. I cant help but laugh when girls say stuff like that. Its legit funny.

As far as dragging out mystery, im not a big fan really. I dont think mystery is something that should be done overtly, as it comes off looking like a try-hard and your doing it all for her. Ill say things like "We're hanging out tuesday...be sure to look photogenic". Girl will usually respond back with something like "any clues to where we going?" And ill just respond "not a single one" and be done with it. Change the subject, evade, etc and then when you guys on en route you can tell her, but dont make it gay like "sooooo im finally gonna tell you where we're going" just be like "have you ever ate at xyz?" and get back to normal conversation.

I would agree with this if this were a plate that the OP was spinning, but he stated that this is a gf of 8+ months. Typically by now she should be comfortable with him taking the lead when going out on dates. This type of interrogation before going out somewhere is a big red flag. IMO, OP is setting himself up for some serious ball-busting and power plays in the future by caving in to her ridiculous demands.

 

[Don_Dom]

Yeah, most women love surprises. It drives them nuts but they love the surprise so will play along without going to the mattresses over it.

You didn't go too far, but she did. As I was reading that I was waiting for something along the lines of "i need to know so I know what to wear" or something....even if you told her what to wear most women don't trust men to have any clue about that. For good reason, don't be offended. But she didn't....Does she have crazy control issues? Is there another agenda?

 

[dvjackson]

OP is setting himself up for some serious ball-busting and power plays in the future by caving in to her ridiculous demands.

lol wut, is this sarcasm? Wanting him to tell her where they're going is a ridiculous demand?

Being playfully coy is fun and all, I do stuff like that too, but unless OP actually intends to surprise her with some really nice restaurant or something, I don't see the point of continuing to refuse to tell her. There's a fine line between exerting dominance in a relationship and acting like a stubborn kid.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

lol wut, is this sarcasm? Wanting him to tell her where they're going is a ridiculous demand?

Being playfully coy is fun and all, I do stuff like that too, but unless OP actually intends to surprise her with some really nice restaurant or something, I don't see the point of continuing to refuse to tell her. There's a fine line between exerting dominance in a relationship and acting like a stubborn kid.

there's nothing wrong with her asking where they are going. But it's the way she is asking that is the problem. Actually she is not asking, she is COMMANDING him. That is the wrong frame to have. Then when he doesn't tell her, she throws a temper tantrum like a child. Granted these are text messages so it's hard to judge her mood exactly (which is why OP needs to keep the texting to a minimum), but it sets a bad precedent when next time she gives him orders and he refuses to comply, all she has to do is withdraw for him to cave in immediately.