Did I make a mistake?

[white sox bill]

Hey everyone,

I'm 44, SHE called me a few weeks ago (she's 28 BTW)to ask me to go to a mutual freinds wedding. We both had invites which we discusssed a few weeks prior. Everything went well @ wedding, we danced a lot, laughed, joked, drank etc. I dropped her off late that PM, I told her I'd call her and that we can go out again. She was receptive to it.

I tried her 5 days later, I left message that I called, nothing more. Then next PM I see her out, she says I got message, etc and I was with 2 other women by the way whne I saw her out . I told her I'd call her Sunday PM..I did, and I told her to call me when she got this message, left my # and so on. Haven't heard a thing from her. Did I make a mistake BY TELLING HER TO CALL ME BACK?

I know us guys are suppose to do chasing...Opinoins?

 

[NewMan]

Don't over analyze it.

It doesn't matter if you told her to call back - if she's interested she will.

Don't call again.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Chicks do this sh!t. Give it a while, they usually come back around.

Give it some time, act cool. Don't call her until she contacts you first.

Go bang other bytches.

She'll prolly contact you and you'll take her out and bang her.

I've had it happen many times since I became single. Women love to hang with me, I call them, they don't return my call. I see them out or they call me about a month or three later, then I get them to my place and we fcuk.

Don't focus all your energy on this girl. I know what you're going through. It'll pass after a few days and you'll be looking for other girls. When you least expect it, this girl will come out of the woodwork and you'll get to do her.

When you do hook up with her again, spend as little money as possible and try to fcuk her quick.

ER!C

 

[white sox bill]

You were both right--she called 9 days later(isn't this JUST like a woman?) left message when I was out of town. But now, I just had hernia surgery and will be out of action sexually for at least a month !

Not too mention, my bodybuilding lifestyle will suffer too. I'll call her soon and at least keep the contact open, and will go out w/her when I feel better. Thanks for advice.
Bill

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

white sox bill, was it my imagination, or did you say that" I know us guys are suppose to do chasing" let me tell you somthing, although the average guy, ie the AFC thinks this, and i have had girls ask me to call them, when i told them "why dont you call me instead" they have told me, guys are suposed to do the chasing. For this reason it is understandable that you thought this, as you asume if girls say this, that they like it, but this is far from true, if you chase them you seem desprete and needy, this is a very big turn off for girls, never chase then, lead and let them follow, if they do not follow do not drag them, just give then incentive to follow.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
if you chase them you seem desprete and needy, this is a very big turn off for girls, never chase then, lead and let them follow, if they do not follow do not drag them, just give then incentive to follow.

Indeed, a desparate man is a turn-off but so is a seemingly uninterested man. A man who won't pick up the phone and call comes off as uninterested. A little mystery is a good thing but it can be overdone.

 

[white sox bill]

Originally posted by Eileen
Indeed, a desparate man is a turn-off but so is a seemingly uninterested man. A man who won't pick up the phone and call comes off as uninterested. A little mystery is a good thing but it can be overdone.

Yes Eileen, a fine line @ that!

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

of course you have to show intrest, i did not say do not show intrest, i said do not chase, these 2 things are opposite ends of the spectrum and you have to find a point somewhere in between, show them you care and give them attention often but not always and do not fall for there tests and become a walk over.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
of course you have to show intrest, i did not say do not show intrest, i said do not chase, these 2 things are opposite ends of the spectrum and you have to find a point somewhere in between, show them you care and give them attention often but not always and do not fall for there tests and become a walk over.

You gotta be prepared to go after what you want. Of course you don't continuously and desparately chase a woman that has made it clear that she has no interest, but neither should you sit back and not pursue a woman that you want when you have a chance.

In my view, pursuing a woman is not showing signs of weakness or desperation, or AFCness if you will, it's more a sign of being a confident well adjusted man. Knowing what you want and pursuing it is certainly NOT a turn off for women.

If you try to lead and let very woman you ever meet follow you, then you'll be jerking off a lot.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

you can make the first move, you can show intrest and some attention but to me persuing is the same as chasing when police chase a car they are said to be in persuit, you have to make them come to you, because you are the prize, not them.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
you can make the first move, you can show intrest and some attention but to me persuing is the same as chasing when police chase a car they are said to be in persuit, you have to make them come to you, because you are the prize, not them.

I don't agree with you're definition of persuit. When a cop car is in persuit of a suspect I'd say there's a fair bit of desperation on the part of the cops to get their guy. Wouldn't you?

My definition of persuit when it comes to women is to be the man, when the vibes are good you move in, you communicate to the female through words and body launguage that her a s s is about to be yours. You have to look for her number at the right time, you have to ask her out on a date at the right time and you need to show her a good time and make your moves when the time is right. Be strong, confident and in control, that's what we need to strive for.

If she's not feeling it then she's not feeling it; move on there's no shame in that. If she's not feeling it you'll know very soon. If you keep targeting her after she indicates no interest, then that's a turn off for a woman.

Always go after what you want; if you play games hoping to prove that your the prize and wait for her to make moves and come to you you'll wait for a long time in most cases.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

well i agree with you there on what you should do, its just that my idea of persuing is diffrent from your, so thats why we had a little disagreement

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Eileen
Indeed, a desparate man is a turn-off but so is a seemingly uninterested man. A man who won't pick up the phone and call comes off as uninterested. A little mystery is a good thing but it can be overdone.

DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! that's the "pre game" that alot of times prevents people from even meeting for a first date, even though both ARE interested.

many a dates have never gone down, that probably should have, solely because of this.

but for guys, it's a flat out 'numbers' game. i'll call once and if no return (which is totally rude, if she's interested) i'll follow up w/ email a week later. if nothing, on to the next. i will literally rip up the number and chuck it and delete the email addy. there's a 90% probability that 1) she's not interested; 2) she is interested, but's playing silly games; or 3) she's interested but is rude or inconsiderate.

a guy simply can't waste his time trying to figure it out, UNLESS: he doesn't have anything better to do.

women, they have twisted logic sometimes (duh). there are many who will not return calls, even if they ARE interested. my sister does this--the guy MUST call twice. her friends to this as well. "Rules" chicks do this even more. they're shooting themselves in the foot because the only guys that will continue to call them are, in fact, the desperate AFCs that they so despise. then they wonder why they date chumps.

for the guy, who cares? since we're the ones approaching, there's another interested lady right around the corner who WILL call me back.

if the woman is REALLY interested, then of course, they usually call back, no matter what game they think they're playing. but REALLY interested is maybe 1/5 of the numbers i pull.

what's funny is that when a women is REALLY interested, they go total AFC. especially the mid thirties sex starved maniacs.

 

[mysterymanelp]

find another girl

your putting to much time into this girl. Find yourself about two more girls to occupy your time with. woman like a man that is scarce. If your to available your value goes down think about that.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Relax kid - 'chase' in this girly context means to be the initiator/aggressor/persuer!! When a dog chases a cat it is for different reasons and with a different motive and style!!!

WhiteSox - don't call her again (twice is good enough) unless she returns your call! She knows that you have interest in her - you did your job!