Gentleman, I am in my late 40's and just coming off a 18 month relationship which she ended. My head tells me she was the wrong woman, but another part of me thinks I may have missed an opportunity of a lifetime. You younger guys jump in if you like.
I met a woman through mutual friends. She actually asked me out first. There were some clear red flags from the start but I jumped right in, thinking with the wrong head. She was recently divorced with 2 young kids. ( I'm divorced and don't have any kids.) She was just coming out of a divorce and had been cheating on husband with a married man who kept promising her he would marry her. That never happened so she dumps her lover and I stepped into the picture.
This woman was smart, charming, educated, splendid in bed (best ever for me) talented, funny, and rich....she will inherit lots of money. There was the family estate, the beach house, glamorous trips, you name it.
Right off the bat she told me she wanted a husband and wanted to date a guy who was looking to get married. In other words, she was on the express train to Marriageville. I told her I prefer to be on the slow boat to Matrimony to play it safe. We've both been married brfore and we can't just jump right in.
Within a month, bad things began to show up. While lying naked togeter in bed after making love, the asked me to get a vasectomy. Since I did not want any children of my own at my age, I agree. But when I backed out later, she had fit and half. As I got to know her, she exhibited some awful habits: She snapped at me often, criticized my sense of humor because it reminded her of her father who left the family when she was a child, chewed me out in front of her kids while on a trip, expected to be taken out to dinners often (including expensive ones), talked down to the hired help and made them quit, wanted jewelry only from particular stores, etc. She also had "man" issues, claiming all significant men in her life had let her down. Too, she has had depression for about 15 years and takes Prozac regularly.
Still she pressed me on the marriage issue and wanted get engaged in two years. We hadn't even been dating a year, so I told her I was realistically on a 5 to 10 year courtship plan.
I kept dating her because of her good side, and she was genuinely fond of me. I helped her a lot around the house, took good care of her kids, and was just very kind to her which she appreciated. However, as time went on, her entitlement nature and attitude began to wear on me. When I was unable to attend one her big family reunions out of town because of work commitments and other things, she was very upset and offended. The net of it is, she eventually asked for space and did not want to see me as much. When all this came to a head, she asked me to love her enough to let her go because she could not wait 10 years to proclaim to the world our love. (She somehow ignored my 5 year offer).
So that's it. I walked away. Did I blow it? Should I have been more flexible?
Thanks,
Puzzled and second guessing
I met a woman through mutual friends. She actually asked me out first. There were some clear red flags from the start but I jumped right in, thinking with the wrong head. She was recently divorced with 2 young kids. ( I'm divorced and don't have any kids.) She was just coming out of a divorce and had been cheating on husband with a married man who kept promising her he would marry her. That never happened so she dumps her lover and I stepped into the picture.
This woman was smart, charming, educated, splendid in bed (best ever for me) talented, funny, and rich....she will inherit lots of money. There was the family estate, the beach house, glamorous trips, you name it.
Right off the bat she told me she wanted a husband and wanted to date a guy who was looking to get married. In other words, she was on the express train to Marriageville. I told her I prefer to be on the slow boat to Matrimony to play it safe. We've both been married brfore and we can't just jump right in.
Within a month, bad things began to show up. While lying naked togeter in bed after making love, the asked me to get a vasectomy. Since I did not want any children of my own at my age, I agree. But when I backed out later, she had fit and half. As I got to know her, she exhibited some awful habits: She snapped at me often, criticized my sense of humor because it reminded her of her father who left the family when she was a child, chewed me out in front of her kids while on a trip, expected to be taken out to dinners often (including expensive ones), talked down to the hired help and made them quit, wanted jewelry only from particular stores, etc. She also had "man" issues, claiming all significant men in her life had let her down. Too, she has had depression for about 15 years and takes Prozac regularly.
Still she pressed me on the marriage issue and wanted get engaged in two years. We hadn't even been dating a year, so I told her I was realistically on a 5 to 10 year courtship plan.
I kept dating her because of her good side, and she was genuinely fond of me. I helped her a lot around the house, took good care of her kids, and was just very kind to her which she appreciated. However, as time went on, her entitlement nature and attitude began to wear on me. When I was unable to attend one her big family reunions out of town because of work commitments and other things, she was very upset and offended. The net of it is, she eventually asked for space and did not want to see me as much. When all this came to a head, she asked me to love her enough to let her go because she could not wait 10 years to proclaim to the world our love. (She somehow ignored my 5 year offer).
So that's it. I walked away. Did I blow it? Should I have been more flexible?
Thanks,
Puzzled and second guessing
