Developing good habits for approaching.

[Luke Skywalker]

That's right. I'm not talking about the complicated and risky approaches, where you have to think of some canned stuff or strategy, I'm talking about day to day interactions.

Here are a few habits that I want to work on:

1) Saying "hi" to six women a day - especially if HB

2) Winking and waving. Wink, smile and wave.
Practise winking - then go for wink, smile, then wink, smile and wave.
(use this if you cant approach to say 'hi' due to logistical considerations (ie too socially ackward to approach to get her attention)

3) Stopping while it's fun. If you do manage to flirt or talk with someone, usually in the context of a social gathering, cut it while it's at the height (try a #-close while your at it - goes without saying)

4) Good-bye compliment -- if really shy, try this, and go for #-close while at it.

5) Ask "what is the story behind that"? Look for anything odd or funny, and try that routine.

OK - there you have it, playing the numbers game is what this is about, and if these habit's are done, then you are at the very least playing some sort of numbers game and gaining confidence at the same time.

Of course, I know there are more advance stuff out there than HTSWW, and people have expressed critical opinions of this book as being outdated, but somehow, I seem to connect with it because of it's calculating and analytical style.

In addition to that, I also try flirting whenever I have opportunity, like complimenting or making a crack about something. I'm practising on HB5's and HB6's for now, once I'm comfortable with this, I can try more advance stuff and go on higher HB numbers.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Says the 30 year old virgin........

Get laid and then you can start giving advice

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think I'll have to rename you Darth Sideous, you evil sith. Empowerment with women doesn't mean you have to get laid, you only need the opportunity to get laid if you want to.

Now, this is not advice - this is a condensed field report of what I intend to do, in terms of offline approaches within the next month or so, so rather than writing a whole set of field reports, I wrote this to form my own commitment on a day to day basis.

Unless you have a better way of approaching women and getting laid, you can feel free to post it here, I'm looking at increasing the odds by better habits.

 

[AngelusPUA]

Completely change your personality (which obviously isn't a beneficial one), Instead of implementing good habits weed out all your bad ones and start fresh. Instead of doing your cute little "wink and wave" routine how about you analyze what women find attractive in a guy and you become that person?

You asked if I have a better way of approaching women and getting laid, here it is?

What do women find most attractive?

-Handsome and Sexy (there is a difference)
-Confidence
-A guy that knows how to dress (expensive cloths are always a good investment)
-Witt
-A guy that is charming
-A guy with class
-A guy that is cultured
-Danger
-Mystery
-A guy that understands how she thinks

If you have even half of those attributes women will like you, if you have them all they will love you (the way they love James Bond). Don’t tell me I’m wrong I’m not the virgin and I have taught a lot of guys how to become MEN.

Just think what would James Bond do? Would he do all the sh*t that you said?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm sorry, but that's a bit too abstract. I've already read stuff from John Alanis that goes into 'authority' concepts, and sets up schemes that women approach me first instead of vice-versa. The only way that I can practically apply what you've written is to impliment that style. I'm well verses on authority concepts or being in positions that convey authority, or high display values and that jazz. The problem is it seems like a high investment in terms of time, effort and money to set them up.

(i.e. I'm not too excited about public speaking, or trying to look for ways to convey high value in authority situations - so, it's a choice between just implementing simple flirting routines like the ones I mentioned above, or fixing some 'authority' set-up, which * sounds * like what you wrote.)

In terms of * other * posts on here, I've read, that if a style is not congruent with personality it wont come across best, thus, if this style here is most congruent, or seems to be congruent, then it's likely to work, as it will seem most natural.

I know of the alpha-male concepts, and the other seduce and conquer concepts - they would suggest -

* work on posture - excercise regularly.
* work on tone-of-voice
* become a man's man (sort of an authority construct, but the CD's will claim if you are dressed sharply enough, you automatically become a man's man).
* approach girls like crazy.

Breaking it down - I'd have to relax on everything else, and just fix my posture so it looks more 'authoriative' or 'commanding', and then work on tone of voice so it's naturally eminates a 'high-energy' when communicating.

So, I have three various sources of thought I have bought into:
The HTSWW book, the Seduce and Conquer CD's, and John Alanis - all which at least have some practical strategy, but to be honest, I'm not taking them as seriously as I should.

I take it you would agree with the John Alanis' 'authority concept', and the Seduce and Conquer concepts too, rather than the HTSWW. The S&C are also derivatives of David DeAngelo C&F and neg-raps. But, I'm saying, whatever motivates me to DO SOMETHING, is what I aught to be focusing on.

 

[Desdinova]

Oh boy...

Although seduction may make a great science project, it's pretty useless if you don't get your ass out in the field and try it out.

Of course, I know there are more advance stuff out there than HTSWW, and people have expressed critical opinions of this book as being outdated, but somehow, I seem to connect with it because of it's calculating and analytical style.

You can connect with it because it's giving you the society-fed, sugar-coated version of seduction that agrees with you. The book has got you nowhere, either from lack of motivation on your part, or bull5hit on the book's part.

It's wonderful that you're a bookworm, but memorizing this stuff isn't going to guarantee success. It's the real-life experience that is going to teach you how to interact with women and be successful. You can't make bread from solely reading a recipe book, you have to go out to the store, buy the ingredients, buy a pan, learn how to use the stove, risk baking a loaf, and taste-test it to see if you were successful.

 

[SamePendo]

I don't know why you're here. Tons of guys have given you advice on basicaly going to the field, bootcamps etc, and you insist on your theories. If you're not taking advice, don't even ask.

 

[theapprentice]

hm..

Isnt he saying that he wants to avoid all these theories and just go out and try it. I mean thats what we should all do, isnt it?

 

[AngelusPUA]

I'm sorry, but that's a bit too abstract. I've already read stuff from John Alanis that goes into 'authority' concepts, and sets up schemes that women approach me first instead of vice-versa. The only way that I can practically apply what you've written is to impliment that style. I'm well verses on authority concepts or being in positions that convey authority, or high display values and that jazz. The problem is it seems like a high investment in terms of time, effort and money to set them up.

(i.e. I'm not too excited about public speaking, or trying to look for ways to convey high value in authority situations - so, it's a choice between just implementing simple flirting routines like the ones I mentioned above, or fixing some 'authority' set-up, which * sounds * like what you wrote.)

In terms of * other * posts on here, I've read, that if a style is not congruent with personality it wont come across best, thus, if this style here is most congruent, or seems to be congruent, then it's likely to work, as it will seem most natural.

I know of the alpha-male concepts, and the other seduce and conquer concepts - they would suggest -

* work on posture - excercise regularly.
* work on tone-of-voice
* become a man's man (sort of an authority construct, but the CD's will claim if you are dressed sharply enough, you automatically become a man's man).
* approach girls like crazy.

Breaking it down - I'd have to relax on everything else, and just fix my posture so it looks more 'authoriative' or 'commanding', and then work on tone of voice so it's naturally eminates a 'high-energy' when communicating.

So, I have three various sources of thought I have bought into:
The HTSWW book, the Seduce and Conquer CD's, and John Alanis - all which at least have some practical strategy, but to be honest, I'm not taking them as seriously as I should.

I take it you would agree with the John Alanis' 'authority concept', and the Seduce and Conquer concepts too, rather than the HTSWW. The S&C are also derivatives of David DeAngelo C&F and neg-raps. But, I'm saying, whatever motivates me to DO SOMETHING, is what I aught to be focusing on.

You are what I would call a hopeless case.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

. The book has got you nowhere, either from lack of motivation on your part, or bull5hit on the book's part.

Oh yes it has, the last two dates were based on the book, and they went alright. I'd say, I've just recently seen this book's authority on dating subjects, which is it's strong point and why I'm taking it seriously again.

I purchased the book in Sept 2003, and I know whenever I've implemented it's 'hi' stuff, I did seem to connect with some people who had a better rapport or chemistry than others, but never #-closed them, or went beyond 'hi'. I have a problem #-closing people it seems, even if there is a clear IOI or attraction. The last #-close I remember doing was in July 2003 - the last time I * asked * a girl for her number, since then, I dont know what happened. NO girl has ever flaked on me, but I've read on this site about the flakes, and that sort of further encouraged me that it's not worth the hassle to #-closed without a clear indication of interest.

It's wonderful that you're a bookworm, but memorizing this stuff isn't going to guarantee success. It's the real-life experience that is going to teach you how to interact with women and be successful. You can't make bread from solely reading a recipe book, you have to go out to the store, buy the ingredients, buy a pan, learn how to use the stove, risk baking a loaf, and taste-test it to see if you were successful.

Of course, that's why I've gone on PRIMING dates.

Prior to taking this book seriously, I went on first-dates that were four hours long, or waited for MY DATE to end the date - which was ALWAYS a bad practise - now I'm seeing some structure and game into them, and have insights on what romance is.

Now, I'm taking this book seriously and may try practising what it's saying. I think whatever it is suggesting, seems to be having resonance somewhere, so I cant dismiss this book yet.

 

[rocky_mtn]

Isnt he saying that he wants to avoid all these theories and just go out and try it. I mean thats what we should all do, isnt it?

I've heard that theory about not using any theories, does anyone have a link to it? :crazy:


Seriously, all the books in the world won't replace a set of balls.


When I see a women and start to chicken out on the approach, I'll reach into pocket and make sure my balls are still there, after confirming that I do infact have a set of balls, then I decide its time to use them, then go up and say hi and introduce myself to her. I run this through in my mind, I don't actually rub my balls right there, but if you take this strategy literally, don't get caught playing pocket pool.

 

[Desdinova]

* work on posture - excercise regularly.

I don't know WTF you're reading. I got into the scene being overweight and with 5hitty posture to boot. Even then, I was getting laid. I fixed my weight and posture over time.

* work on tone-of-voice

That's horse-5hit too. When you become naturally confident, your speech will reflect it.

* become a man's man (sort of an authority construct, but the CD's will claim if you are dressed sharply enough, you automatically become a man's man).

Being a man isn't about dress. It's about liking stuff that men like, such as big t!tties, monster trucks, power tools, and all that good stuff. You cannot be a man when you're into fairies, pink dresses, shoe shopping, and tampons.

You're making tons and tons of excuses for yourself to prevent going outside your comfort zone. You're relying on internet dating, a seduction book written by some theologist, hanging out with your mom, and the list goes on.

You've recieved some fantastic advice from other experienced members, and you choose to ignore it and live in your seduction science lab (ie your bedroom). Pull yourself away from your science project, and see how well your theories REALLY work in the real world.

 

[Desdinova]

I did seem to connect with some people who had a better rapport or chemistry than others, but never #-closed them, or went beyond 'hi'. I have a problem #-closing people it seems, even if there is a clear IOI or attraction. The last #-close I remember doing was in July 2003

Thank you for FINALLY pointing out your weakness. This is what you need to work on. Force yourself to number close AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE. That is the only way you're going to get over your number-close phobia.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

You are what I would call a hopeless case.

I post PRACTICAL things to do on a day to day basis, and you post theory and abstractions that cant be used. I even tried working on your abstractions to try to make PRACTICAL sence of it - by comparing it to what other dating gurus have claimed, and this is the best response you can come up with?

It seems the problem here is you - you are a negative voice, and possibly represent one. Yours is the voice that EVERYONE on here hears, when they attempt to approach someone -

- look at what you've posted - you've only given me reasons in your convoluted stuff not to approach a girl I'm interested in. Anyway there's no point arguing, the only way to defeat you is to follow this program here and start approaching and get laid, and once that happens, then I'll shut you up once and for all.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Thank you for FINALLY pointing out your weakness. This is what you need to work on. Force yourself to number close AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE. That is the only way you're going to get over your number-close phobia.

Fine, I'll number close a few girls this week. I'll work on that tommorow.

 

[AngelusPUA]

I don't know WTF you're reading. I got into the scene being overweight and with 5hitty posture to boot. Even then, I was getting laid. I fixed my weight and posture over time.


That's horse-5hit too. When you become naturally confident, your speech will reflect it.



Being a man isn't about dress. It's about liking stuff that men like, such as big t!tties, monster trucks, power tools, and all that good stuff. You cannot be a man when you're into fairies, pink dresses, shoe shopping, and tampons.

You're making tons and tons of excuses for yourself to prevent going outside your comfort zone. You're relying on internet dating, a seduction book written by some theologist, hanging out with your mom, and the list goes on.

You've recieved some fantastic advice from other experienced members, and you choose to ignore it and live in your seduction science lab (ie your bedroom). Pull yourself away from your science project, and see how well your theories REALLY work in the real world.

A man knows how to dress, If you’re a man that’s knows how to dress and you are classy and cultured, you get classy, sophisticated, cultured women.

If you’re a power tool swinging, T-Shirt wearing, monster truck guy, you get.. well you get those kind of women.

There is nothing wrong with either one it just boils down to person preference.

 

[Hawke]

What do women find most attractive?

-Handsome and Sexy (there is a difference)
-Confidence
-A guy that knows how to dress (expensive cloths are always a good investment)
-Witt
-A guy that is charming
-A guy with class
-A guy that is cultured
-Danger
-Mystery
-A guy that understands how she thinks

As you seem to know what your talking about, i hope you don't mind me asking if you can give any examples on how to show signs of those kind of traits?

 

[AngelusPUA]

I post PRACTICAL things to do on a day to day basis, and you post theory and abstractions that cant be used. I even tried working on your abstractions to try to make PRACTICAL sence of it - by comparing it to what other dating gurus have claimed, and this is the best response you can come up with?

It seems the problem here is you - you are a negative voice, and possibly represent one. Yours is the voice that EVERYONE on here hears, when they attempt to approach someone -

- look at what you've posted - you've only given me reasons in your convoluted stuff not to approach a girl I'm interested in. Anyway there's no point arguing, the only way to defeat you is to follow this program here and start approaching and get laid, and once that happens, then I'll shut you up once and for all.

Dating GURU's and I have met the best of them are in it for the money so they tell you simple stuff that for most people doesn't get results. I'm not in it for the money; I am telling you the best way to get women is to work on yourself first.

YOU NEED TO BECOME WHAT WOMEN DESIRE

There are a lot of guys that can wink say Hi and flirt but there are only a few guys that woman will chase to the end of the earth just for 1 more minute of his attention.

I say become that guy, dating guru's say to go out and say "Hi" to girls.

Then you say what I tell you to do seems to difficult? If you’re not willing to work on it you are a hopeless case.......

 

[Luke Skywalker]

A man knows how to dress, If you’re a man that’s knows how to dress and you are classy and cultured, you get classy, sophisticated, cultured women.

So you've convered a * few * based by just dressing sharply, and what about the other bases?

 

[AngelusPUA]

As you seem to know what your talking about, i hope you don't mind me asking if you can give any examples on how to show signs of those kind of traits?

No problem I'm here to help

Handsome and Sexy
Can't do much about being attractive, either you are or you're not.

Knowing how to dress
Shopping at chain stores is not your best bet, going for Versace is out of some people budgets but in every mall there is at least one store that has good cloths that are more expensive than those of chain stores. This is not always the best place to shop because in terms of getting into high class clubs these cloths won't cut it but if you’re on a budget and want to look good…….. What you think looks good on you often doesn’t it’s a good idea to take a female shopping with you as she can help you pick out cloths that suit you or ask the guy/girl that works in the store.

Wit
Wit is difficult to work on and it come with experience, if you talk to a witty person you will become slowly start to pick it up. It is also a good idea to watch some comedians Eddie Murphy for example. I read a book called "comedy writing secrets" that really helped me cultivate my wit. Wit is important a smart man uses wit to dominate you (AMOG) so it is beneficial for you to be witty. You can read books and listen to comedians but still I say the best way to become Witty is by experience, you need to get out there and socialize.

Confidence
This is a hard one and it takes a long time to become totally confident, my first step would be to take a self defense class. If you can find one do a UFC course because if you get into a street fight you’re not going to use fancy karate moves it’s going to be hard and fast. When you know how to defend yourself you will feel a lot more confident in social situations. You also should go to the gym and try to get in shape (If you aren’t already). Not only does exercise raise confidence because of the obvious physical benefits but working out gives you a sense of accomplishment which sitting in front of a computer doesn’t, this sense of accomplishment translates into confidence. Wearing good cloths, learning how to speak virtually everything you do to benefit yourself will increase your confidence. Obviously going out and talking to women will increase your confidence to.

Class
What can I say about class? It all got to do with your hobbies, what you wear, the people you associate yourself with, how you talk. Take a look at some of the classy guys throughout history real and fictional, James Bond, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra. Classy guys drink an $80 bottle of wine while normal guys drink a $10, classy guys wear classy cloths while normal wear t-shirts.

Charm
-Smile: If you don’t smile you’re not charming
-Let people talk: You listen and let people tell you about themselves, biggest mistake guys make on a date is to talk about themselves too much. Let the girl talk about everything and anything all you have to do is listen and obviously carry the conversation along.
-Compliment do not flatter: The difference between a compliment a flattery is that compliments have no hidden agenda, It’s just a genuine compliment and it doesn’t make the person feel uncomfortable. There are limits you don’t compliment a lot keep it in check and don’t make the first thing you say a compliment.
-Selflessness: The secret to charm is to be selfless. You should not ask for anything in return, not even feedback.
-Eye contact: Straight forward
-Confidence: I know these so called Guru’s say use ****iness but I say use confidence it’s different to ****iness. ****iness means you have something to prove, confidence means you have nothing to prove because you already know everything you need to know.
-Genuine interest: You need to have a real interest in getting to know people, don’t ask questions not wanting to hear the answers you need to have a curiosity about the person.

Danger
Women like a man with an edge of danger, go sky diving, base jump, rock climb, bungee jump do something that makes you unique.

Mystery
-Don’t give her your daily itinerary: Basically don’t tell her what you are going to do all day tomorrow, your life is yours you don’t need to tell her everything.
-Be vauge: There are times when you can be vauge about yourself, for instance when a girls asks me what I do for work I tell her “that’s my business”. I don’t do it in a rude way I just say it normally sometimes they will drop it sometimes they will try and guess but don’t give in.
-Don’t always answer her calls: You should lead a busy life so in reality you shouldn’t have time to answer her calls anyway. If she asks tell her “I was busy” and don’t elaborate, she doesn’t need to know everything you do.