Determined C*ckbl*cker Chick at my Gigs

[Safari]

I'm a musician in a band, and my gigs are my #1 phone number collection place courtesy of massive social proof.

There is a girl who comes to most of our shows, originally a friend of one of my AFCish bandmates. She and I made out after one show, then nothing further came of it and I moved on. Her looks and overall attractiveness have slid since then, maybe to a 6 now.

She's now dating another band member. She was pissed when she tried to "break the bad news" about this to me and I let her know that I truly didn't care, and that this guy (a natural DJ) needed a woman anyway. She added "Tell me you didn't want me on (a different) such-and-such night?!" I replied, "No, I didn't. Sorry if you got the wrong impression." She was shocked at hearing this, and quite pissed I later discovered.

At our most recent show, I started talking to one of her friends I had not seen before. The 6 glared from afar, shaking her head "No, Safari..." But I continued, so she walked over to our table, grabbed a chair, wedged it in and sat right between us. She stared at me with a stupid smirk on her face and tried to joke to this girl about how much trouble I was, etc. There was nothing subtle about it, and in my anger and shock it absolutely derailed me.

I confronted the 6 a little later that she was on my sh!t list, and she replied "Why do you have to hit on all my friends?" (Turns out she just met this girl THAT morning!) I replied, "I don't hit on all your friends, just some of them...and you don't own them...it's my right to talk to whomever I want. Gigs are my best place to meet people, and if you are going to continue interrupting me, then I don't want to see you at our shows." She replied "**ck you" and that was that.

Incidentally, I did try to get that number again later...I got: "I usually don't give my number out to guys," which I haven't heard since seventh grade, but I did get a different number that night so OH WELL.

In any case, I'm anticipating more outright blocks from this troublesome 6 at my gigs, perhaps with women she's never met before. Guys, I need some ammo for this apparently jealous and definitely pain-in-the-ass chick to counter-block and embarrass her if needed.

-Safari

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Safari
in my anger and shock it absolutely derailed me.

Here is where it fell apart for you.

Don't get angry and shocked if **** doesn't go your way. Just laugh it off and adjust your approach accordingly.

You've won when nothing she does can faze you.

 

[Safari]

I agree. I just wasn't prepared for that at all since I thought she was a regular friend.

Perhaps I can tell the girl "I'm thirsty, let's go to the bar" or "Come check out my instrument" and if she's aware of what's REALLY going on she'll go. And it doubles as an interest level test.

Or maybe tell the 6: "Don't you have some makeup to put on somewhere?"

 

[bp1974]

You've needlessly created an enemy. You wouldn't have had any of this sh*t if you'd not been rude to her about not wanting her that night. Now you're looking to escalate the anger rather than diffuse it. You need to diffuse it. You were rude, she got pissed, now you're both pissed. Make her your ally, not your most hated enemy.

 

[Safari]

She was rather arrogant when she stated her assumption that I wanted her. Trust me, I told her the truth as diplomatically as possible. "I can't see us as anything more than friends" just wasn't what she wanted to hear.

What I'm dealing with is a very immature individual, and I sense that trying to appease her at this point would only fuel her resolve. She's clearly jealous despite dating another band member, as I also noticed her glaring at me while getting other women's numbers at our Halloween show. I can't see "Art of War" tactics being successful here. How do I make her my ally when in the end it will cost her my attention?

I'd prefer to ignore her than make her angrier, but if she does decide to actively interfere during my normal course of business, then I simply need something to take her down a notch.

 

[chlywly]

It happens; you shouldn't have let it move you, but next time just continue doing as you were doing, maybe when she sat down between you two; you could have said "sorry, can we get some time alone?" just brushed her off.

 

[drixsa]

im hearing all this "shes your enemy" "make friends"

i say keep it where its at!

as long as it doesnt interfere with your band her telling all her friends you are bad news can work out well for you

yes some girls arent interested if they hear something bad about you but if a girl is told to stay away from you theres a good chance she will want you more

 

[bman]

very true brixsa. and remember, dont get mad... get even.