Detachment paradox

[Leojim]

Hey guys! I have a question.
I've noticed that when I'm detached about the outcome with a girl everything goes super smooth, I can think about techniques, I'm more relaxed, I can advance physically because I don't really care, if it works fine if it dosen't work, next!. But this usually happens with girls that I'm really not interested, then is really easy to do it, BUT when I try to have the same attitude with a girl that I really like, I just can't do it. I put too much interest into it. i think, if something goes wrong I'm gonna screw my chances up, If she rejects me is gonna be painful, etc. You know what I'm talking about guys.
Mi question is: is there any way that you can be detached about a girl that you're relly interested physically and emotionally? is there any trick to avoid this situation and act more naturally? Because when you put so much interest about a x situation the anxiety grows and is really hard to control yourself.
Thanks, Leojim

 

[NickBe]

You cant just pretend you do not like here. Unless you are like me who has no feelings at all.

 

[Makro2323]

Really, it's all in the mind. It's true that it can be difficult to quash strong feelings, especially when with someone that you are attracted to, but the trick to minimising anxiety is to train your mind into not caring about the outcome. If you just think to yourself, OK, this girl is hot and I'm really attracted to her but realistically I know there are lots of girls like this, she's not the only pretty one in the world and even if I mess things up there are going to be a million more opportunities, then you should be able to put your mind into a state of indifference, similar to when you are dealing with not so attractive females.

 

[Serialized3]

Mi question is: is there any way that you can be detached about a girl that you're relly interested physically and emotionally? is there any trick to avoid this situation and act more naturally? Because when you put so much interest about a x situation the anxiety grows and is really hard to control yourself.

I don't think it's possible to completely control your emotions. If you have a strong rational mind, you can make yourself aware of why you're experiencing these emotions and that can make them affect you less.

However, one important thing to keep in mind is that you can control how they affect your reactions. Don't let your negative emotions show around those who you don't already have a strong relationship with.

What helps to avoid psyching yourself out due to anxiety is to keep your mind off a greater outcome (i.e. getting laid, getting into a relationship) and just enjoy the moment. That, or alcohol

 

[Serialized3]

You cant just pretend you do not like here. Unless you are like me who has no feelings at all.

All that money and all those girls and you feel nothing? That's sad, man.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop thinking about her in the "future tense." If she isn't right there, right now you shouldn't even be thinking about her if you have a problem getting too excited, involved or attached. You should typically have something else on your mind or something else to do that you can redirect your efforts. As soon as you start imagining stuff, thing will begin to become difficult.

 

[Docs]

Mi question is: is there any way that you can be detached about a girl that you're relly interested physically and emotionally? is there any trick to avoid this situation and act more naturally? Because when you put so much interest about a x situation the anxiety grows and is really hard to control yourself.

You can't. If you are attracted to someone, you are attached. You can't detach yourself unless you chuck all of the things she attracts you by out the door, but then we wouldn't want her.

You can LIMIT your attraction to her, by getting control of your emotions (the I really really want her bad syndrome), and not really caring about end result. Sure, she's hot, she's girlfriend material, but she just might not be too much into you. Realize that, and adpat the mindset of whatever happens happens, and you'll do better.