desire for other women

[MacAvoy]

I'm involved in a LTR which is also LD. We see each other only once a month. I am committed to her, things are going great, she is totally into me and I her.

However I am a really sexual person (what a dumb statement - which red blooded man isn't). I keep having these thoughts / desires for other women.

I'm playing w/ fire. I keep going out w/ this new group of friends, one of which is a single girl who is really friendly. Was at her house last night for a xmas party and once I got drunk I started thinking hmmm maybe I should let it happen.

I got wasted and blanked out. When I talked to her today, she was laughing at me saying I was pretty funny last night.

Now I am going to a different xmas party w/ her and the same group of friends. I'm attracted to her, but have been trying to do the friends thing. My g/f is aware of her and it is not an issue as we trust each other.

What should I do? I don't want to do something stupid when I 'm drunk, but I enjoy her as a person and don't want to stop being her friend.

 

[Bourne]

How old are you? and your g/f?

How long you been together?

What is your past in terms of relationships and how did they turn out?

Why is this LD relationship?

 

[MacAvoy]

I am 29, shes 25. We have been together for the past 5 months, known each other for 4 years.

I've been involved in 3 previous long term relationships, one ended after a miscarriage, the other because of trust issues / she was scared of commiting / getting involved, took it out on me making up bogus think I'm a cheater type cuz I am too close to my cousin. The other I ended because we weren't compatible.

Cheating hasn't been an issue for me in the past which is why it is confusing for me now.

It is a long distance relationship because we live in different provinces. I would eventually move there however I don't feel we are quite there yet. Rather large committment for me to move away from my daughter. She is in school and still lives w/ her parents. She plans on moving out next September, depending on my job situation, we've talked about me moving out there sometime next year, likely after she's out of her parents house.

 

[Bourne]

Sorry for so many questions but it helps to know your background.

Were you just friends for last 4 years? Why did you know her for so long and were not with her?

Most important question:
Do you honestly see yourself with your g/f long term and see possible future together?
Every guy knows the answer to this but they will not always admit it.

I am currently seeing a girl for past year, but I know she will not be with me long term, I do not see LTR/Marriage material with her.

Do you?

Its seems your "friend" has interest in you, being friends with her will eventually lead to something happening between you two, especially with alcohole present.
Liquid courage as they call it.

 

[Bourne]

I also want to say the desire for other women will always be there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MacAvoy
I'm involved in a LTR which is also LD. We see each other only once a month. I am committed to her, things are going great, she is totally into me and I her.

What are you missing in the relationship. Things may look as if they are going great but how about the things you can't 0utwardly see? In a perfect world, what would be going on that isn't happening now?

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by MacAvoy
I'm involved in a LTR which is also LD. We see each other only once a month. I am committed to her

You got to be kidding us with this T.V sh!t. 30 years of age and here since 03 , Unbelievable.

Goodluck with getting your end off only once a month bonehead, that will be looked upon as time well spent when your laying on your death bed...But your "committed" to her right?

 

[MacAvoy]

Were you just friends for last 4 years? Why did you know her for so long and were not with her?

We were just friends for the last 4 years because of the distance thing. In hindsight, I'm glad we waited so long, we've both matured alot since then. Otherwise she would have been just another one in my long list of ex's.

Do you honestly see yourself with your g/f long term and see possible future together?

The only reason I was willing to commit to something so complicated (LD) was because I do see a future w/ her and she is marriage material. The biggest problem I think is I have been overanalysing our relationship instead of just enjoying it. The benefits have been huge as she is totally head over heels for me, but I feel like I missed out on falling madly in love because I'm being too aware of whats going on.

Its seems your "friend" has interest in you, being friends with her will eventually lead to something happening between you two, especially with alcohole present.
Liquid courage as they call it.

Its hard to say. I can't read her IOI's because shes too friendly. She's one of those green I love everybody types. I was attracted to her instantly but I only met her after I was involved w/ my girl. They are the complete opposites which I think is why I'm attracted to the green girl. Its hard to judge as well cuz I'm somewhat aloof towards her cuz I do have a g/f, however I should be close to the LJBF zone for not making a move yet but I'm not cuz I still have those core DJ skills in me.


This whole situation for me has never really been an issue for me because I usually have my partner as my female companion. I enjoy female companionship and it makes me feel like a healthy male. I've been in one previous LD relationship but we were alot closer so we could see each other every weekend. The temptation is alot stronger when you only see each other once a month

 

[Bourne]

I don't know what to tell you, you should do but I will relate this to my experience.

I'm 26 and after 5 year relationship with my ex fiance where she dumped me a year ago last thing I want to do is get married or get inside another serious relationship. I would have fun, but it depends on your relationship/women priorities.

I was in LD relationship and on contrary of what everyone told me I believed it would work, ofcourse it didn't. There are ofcourse people that make it work. It seems to me that you want it to, but your actions say otherwise. You like her attention she is given you and be honest with yourself, you would have sex with her given a chance? Yes, no?

If you want to be with your g/f do not put yourself in a situation where you will do something you will regret.

 

[The_Next_Big_Thing]

agreed with Bourne. Since I was in your position once. I can relate. DO NOT put yourself in a position that you will do something bad especially with alcohol present. You don't want to have to do one of those "I fvcked up" speeches. I never had to neither did she.

The_Next_Big_Thing

 

[Bourne]

Originally posted by The_Next_Big_Thing
You are not arrogant or ****y if you can back up what you say with actions.

I like that quote.