Denying my gf emotional privileges

Dhoulmagus

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She's been lazy in bed lately and I haven't had sex in 3 weeks. She was on family vacation last week, but she wanted to just have date night the week before. As a result, I quit saying I love you and emotional bs like that. In addition, I am telling her no to stuff that she wants to do that I would have to bite the bullet for. I am pretty much acting more like I am single lol besides just regularly texting her every day. She has began to notice and ask why I am not giving her any more attention and I am just giving her bs answers. She wants to come over tomorrow, so how should I handle it? In addition, I owe her a bday present because she gave me one. I don't want to go over 30 bucks because I have to save up my money for a security deposit due in august lol.
 

BrainDamage92

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Idk, but even when I have loved, I never said "I love you" often. This is all abit fake with most couples and it makes me puke honestly because its all pink and gooey and fake.
 

skinnyguy

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You've been complaining about her for six months why are you with her
 

Dhoulmagus

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BrainDamage92 said:
Idk, but even when I have loved, I never said "I love you" often. This is all abit fake with most couples and it makes me puke honestly because its all pink and gooey and fake.
She always does it and I just did it back anyway. I just stopped saying it back to her.
 

Igetit!

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So you're going to be cold and withholding.....basically starve her EMOTIONALLY.


Oh yeeeeeah......I like this idea.

Nothing could go wrong here. :rolleyes:
 

cola

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Before I get in a LTR I Iiteraly tell girls I need sex 2- 3x a week, no exceptions besides her period. I tell them if I'm exclusive with you I should get the same amount of sex I would single.
If you can't accept that a LTR with us won't work, I will stray. She renigs without a damn good reason[sickness, tragedy, yeast infection] I bang someone else, with no guilt felt.

This is one of just one of my conditions. I'll even let them set their own and if it's reasonable I'll honor it.
Gotta lay ground rules in advance brother.
 

El Payaso

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Give her the birthday present simply because she got you something. Maybe a perfume or an outfit.

As for her coming over tomorrow, say that you're going to be out and about.
 

Thorninmyside

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Your power play is really only gonna work if she's been lazy but still highly interested I.e. Taking you for granted rather than losing feelings. If she is losing the vibe, she's gonna either dump you and say it's your fault for being distant, or cheat and say you weren't giving her the love she wanted, if she's hasn't already.

May as well preempt that by telling her it's not gonna work (if you feel that way) rather than giving her bs answers and hoping she'll get the right idea. That's what women do with the silent treatment, when we'd rather just hear what's up and adjust accordingly, or walk away.
 

Poon King

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You should be spinning plates.

Its obvious this b!tch rules you and you're afraid of her.. so I'm not even buying the BS about you "denying her emotional privileges" and neither is she.

Women laugh inside when men try to play the manipulation game. They know he is full of sh!t because if he really had control he wouldn't need to play games. He would just snap his fingers and say "make me a sandwich" and she would do it.

She knows you're a slave to her p*ssy, approval and affirmation and too chicken sh!t to cheat or leave (otherwise you would be doing that instead of posting whiny threads :crackup: ). So stop kidding yourself. Either be a man and spin plates or accept your position as her b!tch and "fall in line".
 

YawataNoKami

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Dhoulmagus said:
She's been lazy in bed lately and I haven't had sex in 3 weeks. She was on family vacation last week, but she wanted to just have date night the week before. As a result, I quit saying I love you and emotional bs like that. In addition, I am telling her no to stuff that she wants to do that I would have to bite the bullet for. I am pretty much acting more like I am single lol besides just regularly texting her every day. She has began to notice and ask why I am not giving her any more attention and I am just giving her bs answers. She wants to come over tomorrow, so how should I handle it? In addition, I owe her a bday present because she gave me one. I don't want to go over 30 bucks because I have to save up my money for a security deposit due in august lol.


Denying emotional privileges????What the hell is that?Stop watching Oprah ;stop reading cosmopolitan.
 

Igetit!

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Dhoulmagus said:
She's been lazy in bed lately and I haven't had sex in 3 weeks. She was on family vacation last week, but she wanted to just have date night the week before. As a result, I quit saying I love you and emotional bs like that. In addition, I am telling her no to stuff that she wants to do that I would have to bite the bullet for. I am pretty much acting more like I am single lol besides just regularly texting her every day. She has began to notice and ask why I am not giving her any more attention and I am just giving her bs answers. She wants to come over tomorrow, so how should I handle it? In addition, I owe her a bday present because she gave me one. I don't want to go over 30 bucks because I have to save up my money for a security deposit due in august lol.
So how exactly did this plan to emotionally starve your girlfriend pan out?

Did you get the result you wanted? Did being cold and withholding affection put the relationship back on track and fix everything?

I'd like to know......I HATE IT when people start threads,but never give us an update on the situation,or tell us how things worked out.
 

Cejay

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It might be too late but I recommend ending it with her. She might chase you and you might be able to save it.

Her interest is low. You can't negotiate attraction.

I would also like to hear how this went.

CJ
 

Dhoulmagus

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Igetit! said:
So how exactly did this plan to emotionally starve your girlfriend pan out?

Did you get the result you wanted? Did being cold and withholding affection put the relationship back on track and fix everything?

I'd like to know......I HATE IT when people start threads,but never give us an update on the situation,or tell us how things worked out.
We were supposed to hangout that night which determined I was gong to dump her immediately or not. She said she was tired which meant I would have to wait another week adding up to 4 weeks without seeing a girl that lives 10 minutes away. This gave me a reasonable justification to dump her, and I said that she's too busy for a relationship and she shouldn't expect me to be all emotional with a girl that I see once in a while. She started crying and rushed over to my place with chocolates and said she was sorry. She attacked me and had sex, so now I'm in a deeper hole. :/
 
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Try to get her to do what she should supposed to be doing. So instead of breaking right up, cut off most contact, stay busy on your personal development such as gym, career, social, etc. Do less favours for her and talk to her a lot less.

Then be seen and around other women. This is usally enough to fire women up to do what they are supposed to.

She may be cheating on you so she doesn't have a need, or maybe her sex drive dried up because she was enjoying keeping you out of the sex. Sometimes it gets like that where your partner is battling you, and the control of not giving you good sex feels better for her than giving it, since she "wins".
 

Dhoulmagus

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DaddyLongShanks said:
Try to get her to do what she should supposed to be doing. So instead of breaking right up, cut off most contact, stay busy on your personal development such as gym, career, social, etc. Do less favours for her and talk to her a lot less.

Then be seen and around other women. This is usally enough to fire women up to do what they are supposed to.

She may be cheating on you so she doesn't have a need, or maybe her sex drive dried up because she was enjoying keeping you out of the sex. Sometimes it gets like that where your partner is battling you, and the control of not giving you good sex feels better for her than giving it, since she "wins".
We went to the movies one week and then she had to go on vacation for like 2 weeks with her family. Those 2 weeks were the main gap.
 

Dhoulmagus

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DaddyLongShanks said:
What can you do?
idk she wants to be together forever and I don't want to marry her. Plus, I'm trying to move west after I graduate.
 
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Dhoulmagus said:
idk she wants to be together forever and I don't want to marry her. Plus, I'm trying to move west after I graduate.
She wants to be together for ever and she wants to make sex a sticking point? Man you are very reasonable and you aren't even married yet... How the friggin h3ll could she even justify it.

Do the put out or get out speech. Pretty much it's that simple. You cannot justify being in a sexless or near sexless situation, your going to do it some times that she might not necessarily be in the mood, fine, just tell you to hurry up. She's going to have to please you and like to see you happy.

Otherwise you cannot simply justify her as a gf anymore. It's pretty simple.

make sure you are meeting her needs to, because if you are over there being a selfish a$$hole she doesn't have to let you into her body.
 

Dhoulmagus

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DaddyLongShanks said:
She wants to be together for ever and she wants to make sex a sticking point? Man you are very reasonable and you aren't even married yet... How the friggin h3ll could she even justify it.

Do the put out or get out speech. Pretty much it's that simple. You cannot justify being in a sexless or near sexless situation, your going to do it some times that she might not necessarily be in the mood, fine, just tell you to hurry up. She's going to have to please you and like to see you happy.

Otherwise you cannot simply justify her as a gf anymore. It's pretty simple.

make sure you are meeting her needs to, because if you are over there being a selfish a$$hole she doesn't have to let you into her body.
We had sex wednesday, but we only see each other once or twice a week and she'll make some of those dates impossible for sex to happen. It's hard for me to have sex with me because she is too small and it makes the foreplay take too long.
 

Peace and Quiet

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