Delayed or infrequent texting from her

[HankHill]

You should be in total IDGAF mode--with ALL women.

Haha, I don't look like you to be a total IDGAF. OK in all seriousness I've been going on dates but I have yet to meet anyone that I'm smitten by except her but I've kept myself in check for almost a month, I'm only venting here.

Barraging her with texts and then getting piss*sed when she doesn't replay fast enough isn't the way of the DJ. It's needy and insecure. Sorry for the tough love, but c'mon man.

I appreciate the tough love. Just FYI, I've only reciprocated so one text from her, one from me, absolutely no barraging her with texts at all. I'm just a little annoyed how slow this is moving, granted it's because of her traveling...so bad timing there. I was hoping that when she returned she'd be eager to get together but it doesn't seem so.

I won't be responding to her today, may be tomorrow afternoon or late evening and see if she's up for meeting up.

 

[Masculinity]

This thread reminds me of a Chinese girl I was gaming. She texted "I may be able to hangout someday". I said I was a man that was worth 3.5 boyfriends (she has one in China; she's in the US) then said "are you free tonight? I'm on my period and I need to move of my place today and my friends are also moving".

I responded with "You should hire a couple of guys to help you move. I'd hangout with you but I wouldn't help you move." I hadn't even had a first date with her and she wanted to use me. She responded with "ok well if you don't help me then no hangout, Bye ". I said "Kk! Bye!"

I never heard from her again. And I couldn't be happier about it . It's just some girl. My dignity is more valuable than her.

 

[HankHill]

LOL so it's pretty late here but I had to post this update because I'm thinking there's something wrong with her, like she's super sensitive or bipolar. She texted me this evening telling me she was watching the finale of the bachelorette (already an orange flag in my mind but women watch sh*t like that so whatever). I said, that's cool, I don't know anything about that show so you'll have to give me the cliffs notes version sometime. No response...so after 20 mins I took off for my bike run. I came back about an hr later and there was a msg from her on my phone about what I was up to? I responded that I just got back from my bike run to xyz and back. She said 'wow that's impressive! I only accomplished tv watching'. I asked if she owned a bike (thinking we could try doing that sometime), she responded that she did but hadn't used it for a while but she did ride in Europe on her trip recently. I said well that's great you get points in my book for owning a bike and knowing how to ride! May be we can go for a ride one of these days. All this was back to back within secs of eachother...and then, just like that she checked out of the conversation, apparently. WTF? So here I am thinking and retracing my texts going wow, what did I say to piss her off now...I mean did she take my 'know how to ride it' as offensive or something, did she fall asleep while texting or she fell on the floor after having too many drinks lol. And I really liked her when I met her, she seemed a bit quirky but not in a bad way. Like she drives a new hatchback with a stick shift. At the time I thought it was pretty cool that she not only knew how to drive a stick but that she actually owned a new car with a stick shift. But now I'm thinking, how many women in the US in a very busy large metropolitan area buy a new car with a stick shift? Anyway...the people you meet in OLD. I'm sure she'll respond tomorrow but I think it's time for me to eject myself out of this.

 

[The Diver]

.I mean did she take my 'know how to ride it' as offensive or something,

Haha. I once told a girl (which I already fu*cked twice,) that she will look great with long hair. She got extremely upset and told me I remind her her last Ex, who was never happy with the way she looks and then asked me to leave her place !!! never to be heard again.
So after that incident, nothing will surprise me, Lol.

 

[TBG]

Sounds like someone else came along and caught her attention. That's normally the way it goes (unless you said something really bad, even then they'll want the final word) when they drop you just like that.

She was probably bored watching TV. Hit up the guy's she's been talking to. You filled the time until someone she deemed 'better' replied.

 

[HankHill]

This is her normal way of texting. Even if she had a booty call you still say something like 'gotta run, have a good night' or something. May be I'm too old school lol but... I have to turn on my IDGAF mode.
If anything interesting happens I'll update here but at this point, meh, whateves...

 

[HankHill]

OK so not 'interesting' or shocking but here's what she just texted - another example of her texting patterns:

Bachelorette shocker last night! The most emotional ending ever, per Chris Harrison (host) anyway. I think it was the same old same ole with different faces :lol emoji: But I still get sucked in! What to do now that bachelor is not on until next spring? :crying emoji:

 

[Billtx49]

OK so not 'interesting' or shocking but here's what she just texted - another example of her texting patterns:

Bachelorette shocker last night! The most emotional ending ever, per Chris Harrison (host) anyway. I think it was the same old same ole with different faces :lol emoji: But I still get sucked in! What to do now that bachelor is not on until next spring? :crying emoji:

Something wrong here if she is texting about a TV show exclusively in a text…
That’s what one friend might text to another friend with a common interest.

 

[HankHill]

Something wrong here if she is texting about a TV show exclusively in a text…
That’s what one friend might text to another friend with a common interest.

At a first glance it appears so but if you look at the overall situation and her texting patterns of the past it's no surprise. This is her way of explaining her sudden disappearance last night mid text convo i.e. the two hr show sucked her in and it was the most emotional ending ever. Remember it was just yesterday when she said we weren't at the 'vacuum under the couch' stage yet - that's not a friendship hint.

Anyway, I can pick it up from this convo and say anything like 'I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something interesting to do until next spring ' or such.

 

[IUDonger]

At a first glance it appears so but if you look at the overall situation and her texting patterns of the past it's no surprise. This is her way of explaining her sudden disappearance last night mid text convo i.e. the two hr show sucked her in and it was the most emotional ending ever. Remember it was just yesterday when she said we weren't at the 'vacuum under the couch' stage yet - that's not a friendship hint.

Anyway, I can pick it up from this convo and say anything like 'I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something interesting to do until next spring ' or such.

Quite frankly, I would just come out and ask her out for drinks.

"What do I do until next spring?" - Why wait? Drinks on me when you get back.

 

[Billtx49]

This is her way of explaining her sudden disappearance last night mid text convo

If she can’t express her actions any clearer than that, I seriously doubt she can express her emotions correctly. The last woman I was with that couldn’t express her personal thoughts and emotions had a serious personality issue.… but she could at least let them be known via text.

 

[HankHill]

She texts like she's married or has a live in BF

As far as what she's told me she owns her own condo, lives with a cat. She's never been married and have never had a LTR. The latter is the biggest red flag, I know but she has her sh*t together otherwise (job, interests etc).

She texts like she's interested but she wants to slow the pace way down.

Quite frankly, I would just come out and ask her out for drinks.

"What do I do until next spring?" - Why wait? Drinks on me when you get back.

Yeah, or 'Next spring is far away but we can meet next week, what's your availability' I hate doing another drinks/restaurant (this will be the third date) but I don't know what else, in the past bowling and pool have worked but she's not into that stuff. She's into hiking and backpacking etc. Not doing that on a third date. So I'll likely just pick a place near her place.

 

[HankHill]

My female friend just suggested that I should pick up the phone and call her tonight. I might just do that. Thoughts? and if yes, should I text her 'I'll give you a call tonight' or make it a surprise call? I'd personally appreciate a heads up.

 

[IUDonger]

My female friend just suggested that I should pick up the phone and call her tonight. I might just do that. Thoughts? and if yes, should I text her 'I'll give you a call tonight' or make it a surprise call? I'd personally appreciate a heads up.

Surprise call and ask her out.

 

[BeExcellent]

Also, not all women will blow up your phone if interested. Maybe 25-50% will. Mostly needy, immature ones will. Some or most women will allow the man to pursue, as he should, especially the more mature ones and ones worth pursuing. This is based on many years of dating. I'd venture @BeExcellent is in this category, of not blowing up a man's phone if she's interested. She's probably allows him to pursue her but gives him signs she's interested like accepting his dates and calls. So don't buy into the whole "if she's not blowing up my phone she's not interested" crap. She's not interested if she won't go out with you or makes excuses. THEN it's time to eject.

For the record I agree with this statement. Also the women who constantly blow up your phone are the ones you'll get bored of the most rapidly...and this thread is a good example of that (she is NOT blowing up his phone and look how invested he has become in her). I don't blow up a man's phone but I am responsive as Dash mentioned. This is the case even when I'm dating in a LTR. In fact the BF sometimes mentions that he wants me to contact him MORE often and initiate more (I initiate 15% percent or less of the time.) Being absent increases the mental bandwidth that you occupy in the other person's mind. A woman who likes you will be responsive to your initiative and will through her responses encourage further interaction. A woman who likes you will also say yes when you ask her out. There won't be this uncertainty mumbo-jumbo.

Men are supposed to be busy doing 'man stuff.' this thread is too full of analysis paralysis. I as a woman have no desire to interrupt whatever a man may be doing or concentrating on whether it be a meeting, a project or a date with someone else for that matter. I wait for the man to reach out and thereby signal 1. His continued interest via the action of reaching out...and 2. His desire to communicate with me and or spend time with me (again confirming his interest through action). And then my role is to respond and be receptive to him.

Text conversations can drop at any time for any reason. Text conversation flow is nothing like telephone conversation flow. Best to go with the flow and quit reading so much meaning into every single syllable.

 

[marmel75]

Stop being so desperate for attention. Women weed out guys like you by doing this and waiting for them to send 5 or 6 increasingly desperate texts when they dont respond.

 

[HankHill]

Yep. I'm well aware of that. I only send one text back to her for one text even if it takes her a day to respond. In fact, if she takes a day to respond I wait a day and a half to respond to her. I'm just finding the pattern bizarre where sometimes she'll double text and then other times disappear mid convo etc.

Anyhow, I made a surprise call to her the day before, it was just past 9pm. As I'd suspected she didn't answer. I left a quick voicemail and then texted her:

Me: Surprise! lol I'm terrible at leaving voicemails...you've been warned
Her 15mins later: I can always delete the voicemail without listening if you prefer
Me 10 mins later: Ha! No, being a bad voicemail leaver is part of me so you might as well know
Her: :lol emoji: :lol emoji:
Her: I was over at my friend's, hadn't seen her in over a month. Just got back and getting in bed, so tired.
Me: Oh ok, I thought you were just being chicken
Her: lol and for the record I HATE leaving voicemails myself.
Me: Alright since you're alread in bed I'll give you a ring tomorrow
Her: Tomorrow is good, as it'll just be me and my to-do list so that'll be perfect.
Me: G'night!
Her: Night! or as they say in Swedish Natti

So last night I called her and we chatted for a good 30 mins even though I'd only planned to chat for 10-15 mins. I asked her how her to-do list was going, she said 'it's never ending, but good to check things off you know?' so I said 'so I guess I was on your to-do list for tonight?' she started cracking up, she stammered and laughed for like 5 secs and barely got out 'well...no...no you weren't on my to-do list' so I said 'I wasn't? wait, are we talking about this phone call or something else...jeez get your mind out of the gutter for a min' and we had a few more laughs over that. The rest was just small talk. In the end I said 'hey so what's your availability next week, wanna get together again?' she said "yeah this weekend i'm hanging out with my sister so next week sounds good, in fact, I don't think I have anything going on so whenever, wherever...I mean whatever day works for you' so I said 'ok, yeah this weekend doesn't work for me either but let me check my calendar and see when might be a good time'. I was surprised - and I think she caught herself too when she said 'wherever...' as that could imply coming/going over but she didn't mean it that way. Anyway, I'm thinking I'm going to look for an activity and then see how it goes from there. I plan to text her in a couple of days once I figure out what I want to do for our 3rd date.

OK...you guys are all caught up now and I think I'm going to start focusing on a couple of other chicks that have popped up on my phone screen since the last few days but I haven't been feeling like getting my game on. It can be exhausting sometimes when you have 50 other things going on in life.