Deep conversations don't mean anything.

[DiegoSantori]

On dates with women, I often have deep conversations about my life and their lives. I don't do it on purpose, I guess it's my personality type. I always turn small talk into deeper conversation, even if I don't want to. We start talking about work, family, etc. and then we automatically proceed to deep, emotional topics. I naturally reveal details about me that I don't tell most people and although, the girl seems to be very interested and hang on my every word, I think, it destroys all the mystery about me.

I mean, there still seems to be some attraction left since my dates always at LEAST end with a kiss (probably because of my looks), but I think, I just reveal way too much about me, which I always regret afterwards.

Deep conversations don't mean that you got emotionally close to her. I often made the mistake of placing too much value on words. But it's not what you say but how you say it.

My advice: Find the topic that will get her going. Let her talk about herself. Girls LOVE talking about themselves. It makes her invest more in the interaction with you. Let her do the talking and tease every now and then. Don't reveal too much about yourself. Once books are open, they end up closed.

 

[Desdinova]

You don't attract a woman by getting "emotionally close" to her. You do it by stimulating emotional fluctuation. "Deep conversations" fall into the same category as romantic gestures. All they do is enhance the existing relationship.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

One of the questions that used to be on OK Cupid was 'do you like to have deep conversations about politics/philosophy/religion'. Surprisingly, some people don't.

These are not my types of people, so I avoid them. I get nothing out of constant small talk and banter. Equally, not all women want drama in order to feel emotionally connected. In fact some really don't react very well at all.

Some people react very well to deep and meaningful conversations. Two points to note:

1) Don't spout emo BS about your own life - that is going to be counter-productive. Peddle your own philosophy, but almost in the third person.

2) Dates/relationships/friendships are primarily about sharing fun experiences, not just putting the world to rights. Unexpected variety is key.

 

[ucde]

Deep conversations are pretty useful to connecting with someone.

You are struggling with an issue other than conversational tactics.

 

[Obsidian]

I think deep conversations can sometimes be helpful if you're telling her how it's gonna be, and if you don't dwell on the topic too long. The only real restriction is that she must not find your position morally repugnant. And you must make it clear that you are your own man, and that you don't care very much whether she disagrees. If you do it right, talking about an important topic shows that you have passion. But you don't do it to get the girl's imput. She is not your equal partner. You just let your mind and passion overflow, without care about her opinion.

example: "You may think I'm crazy about this, but I think all police departments should be abolished." And then you list a couple reasons.

 

[Poon King]

Its the man's job to get laid. Its the woman's job to "bond".

You are doing the woman's job. A man getting super emotional and deep with someone he just met is the female equivalent of a woman who sticks her hand down a man's pants after introducing herself.

You are too easy and you give the woman nothing to work for. If she has nothing to work for.. then you have no value. What is FREE is worthless.

All women are sex toys until proven otherwise. You should just be trying to f*ck them. Its her job to prove she is worth more. You should always assume she isn't until she proves otherwise. Most will not prove otherwise.

 

[om1xr]

It depends on what you are into.
If we are talking about ons then there is no need for emotional connection or deep rapport through intimate conversations.
If you are into fwb then it depends on the type of girl because girls respond to different things when it comes to attraction and rapport because psychological and emotional stimulus is a must for girls.

But when it comes to ltr then anyone who tells you that deep convos and emotional intelligence don't matter is bullsh!tting or have no idea what he is talking about.