Deconstructing Don

Epic

Senior Don Juan
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All DJ's know that "Don Juan" is just a synonym for the word man. The subject has been touched on before, but I thought it needed to be explained better with less emphasis on the scientific aspects. Forget the social psychology, the strategies, the techniques, and learning to "understand" women. Of course, I've used them before, when I first started down this path; but I don't use them now. Why? I don't need to. There's a more simple answer. Women are attracted to men. Over the course of time, I began to understand exactly what a real man is to the world and to women. Though they have the same starting point, there is a difference between a male and a man; but, since you are a male it's much easier to be a natural man than to ingrain a field manual. The key is not in understanding women, but understanding men. So, what is a man?

In no particular order a man:

Is comfortable with who he is. It doesn't matter if it's his appearance, personality, choices, or career. It's visible in the way he carries himself. Yet he still strives for improvement, not for others, but for himself. He is not afraid to talk to anyone including women. He loves the company of others, but is content to be alone. A man values his time, but doesn't take himself or life too seriously.

Knows how to take charge when he needs to, and he prefers to. He knows and pursues what he wants. At the same time, when it comes to relationships if a woman wants to lead sometimes, he is willing to compromise or let her take the reins. He's not a control freak.

Is willing to take risks. However, he is also logical, rational, and intelligent enough to pick his battles. He enjoys being spontaneous and taking a chance on new experiences. Men enjoy adventure, and adventure always involves risk.

Is mentally, emotionally, and physically strong. Why? So that he is ready for hardship. He does not seek fights, but will defend himself and others if necessary. He is reliable and not easily influenced by others. When his woman needs his support, he can provide it. He understands that the only real emotional weakness is inappropriate emotion. When he needs to cry, he does so without shame.

Expects the same respect that he gives. He is naturally a pleasant person, but he does not hesitate to be unpleasant when the situation is justifiable, regardless of gender, race, or age. He accepts that as a human being, he has limits and standards and will not pretend otherwise. He also has principles and he does not go against them for anyone.

Does not gossip. This trait seems like mysteriousness. He does not feel a need to prove himself, brag, or downplay others. He is calm, speaks at his own pace, and shares his experiences when the conversation calls for it; while only giving relevant details. He is trustworthy and keeps his secrets for those who have earned his trust.

Has a sense of humor. He can be ****y sometimes because he thinks it's funny and does not feel the need to apologize to those who are too uptight to get the joke. He is funny because he enjoys laughter especially when he can share it with others.

Embraces, but controls his masculinity with ease. He loves being a man. He does not feel a need to hide his sexuality or his interest in women. He enjoys being aggressive, meaning vigorously energetic and driven, whether it is at the gym, college, the office, on the gridiron, or in the bedroom; but he also knows that there is a time and a place for everything.

Aknowledges femininity. He does not try to rationalize and blueprint a woman. He understands that although women and men are equal and have the same mental capabilities, they both lead with different parts of their consciousness. He is the land and she is the sea, and he knows one could never understand what it's like to be the other; but that there's still something extraordinary in the fact that they come together in such chaotic harmony. He is sympathetic to her emotions, but still holds her accountable when any injustice arises. He fulfills her needs as a woman, but expects her to do the same for him.

Has a healthy attitude towards dating and relationships. He does not date one woman at a time, yet he is still selective. He dates numerous women and may have a goal to settle down with one, but he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. As far as the present is concerned, the only outcome he desires is to have fun. He does not take a personal offense to rejection, as he expects women to be just as selective. When in a relationship, a man respects the commitment that he's made by staying faithful, if he has a desire to cheat, he ends the relationship. He provides his woman with romance, but he never "proves" his love with it because he does that through his actions. He views romance as a different medium to express his love, and he understands the value of an unexpected gesture. He avoids anything too grandiose and makes anything of real significance a rarity, usually reserved for surprises and special occasions. Most importantly, he does not fall in love quickly or easily. A woman has to be deserving of his love, as he does hers.

This is all you need to be successful with women. I stopped thinking about what I was doing and wondering what they were thinking because I thought "Why shoud I? It's not that big of a deal." Of course, you're not going to get a 100% success rate, rejection is just part of the game; it happens sometimes but trust me, you won't be lacking in women and you won't have a hard time holding on to them either.
 

Zero2

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As always, a dead person always speaks the truth.

Lead on bro.
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
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Good post. Some things cause me to ask the question, "how?"

Is comfortable with who he is
Very important. But hard to achieve.

Is mentally, emotionally, and physically strong
It's hard to become emotionally strong if you are not.

Has a sense of humor
I'm working on mine. Humor is connected to mood. When one is happy it's easier to notice things and make light of them.

Embraces, but controls his masculinity with ease
I have been taught to hide my sexuality through negative reinforcement. Girls have found out that I liked them then they hated me in return. As I got older I became desperate for sex and the girls I knew weren't very flattered to find out that I wanted to fuck them. Now I'm hiding my sexuality. I need to figure out how to use it to my advantage and get positive results.

Has a healthy attitude towards dating and relationships
I have a very warped view of dating and relationships. Simply put I've never been in a relationship. I don't have a clue what to expect. All I know is that there is sex involved and I guess spending time together.

All of those things I need to improve on.
 

Epic

Senior Don Juan
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Good question, Maxtro! Conditioning is what made you the way you are, so it's what can make you the way you need to be. Along with facing your fears and taking risks, positive reinforcement is key. If you tell yourself something long enough you'll start to believe it. Awareness is also important. You must constantly be mindful of your thoughts and actions until it becomes natural. Learn what are regressive thoughts and actions and what are progressive ones, and replace the former with the latter whenever they arise.

Is comfortable with who he is
I told myself constantly that everyone has flaws so we're all equal, that no woman can make me as happy as I can make myself, and that no one has the right to criticize, but me.

Is mentally, emotionally, and physically strong
Emotional strength does not mean that you can't experience negative emotion. It means you only display it when it is appropriate with confidence. That's where knowledge comes in. You have to look at things from an outside perspective and see what's understandable and what's absurd.

Has a sense of humor
As far as what to say, I started with what I thought was funny and then began watching what subjects others would laugh at. Observing comedians helps, also doing improv with my friends helped a great deal. Delivery is key too. You have to be relaxed.

Embraces, but controls his masculinity with ease
I had this problem as well. Aggressive thoughts and visualization helped me with this. Anytime I wanted to have sex with a girl, while she was in front of me, I would think about throwing her down and fvcking the sh!t out of her; about her cumming so hard that she couldn't walk afterwards. Then I would imagine her saying that was the best she ever had and that I was a sex GOD. By that point I would be so horny I HAD to do it. Afterwards I would feel like a beast! If she's really into you, she won't protest. Women LOVE dominance. Once you've learned to love this behavior, you also have to learn to control it. Variety is important, you can't come at her like an animal ALL the time.

Has a healthy attitude towards dating and relationships
It's exactly as I laid it out, you just have to keep yourself conscious of it. Eventually you won't have to because things will start to work out, you'll begin to accept it, and it will become natural.
 

Victory Unlimited

Master Don Juan
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Good Post, Epic.


In a few years, we might have to enlist you into our Mature Man SoSuave Army if you stay on such a distinguished path...

March on.
 

Epic

Senior Don Juan
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Awesome! :) Thanks for the props guys.
 
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