I saw ishallsurvive's post and it's funny that I should see that post now. I'm going to do the same.
In the second year of university, a friend entered the university I'm attending. I had spoken to her only through MSN at the time but we were kind of close. When we met up for the first time, we realized we were closer than we thought. We started spending a lot of time together, especially drinking. At the time, I thought she was just average looking, and there was nothing special about her. But she started hinting that she liked me. She asked me one night if I liked her, and I said yeah but just like a sister. Easily the biggest mistake of my life, emotionally. I've never had a girlfriend and up to that point, I'd never kissed a girl or had sex before. Kissless virgin.
She ended up dating my roommate. He had liked her for a while and she ended up with him. As it turned out, she lost her virginity to him, and they were close.
I started to realize that I liked her, though. A lot. And when I like someone, I have feelings for them, for YEARS. The last girl I had liked was in grade 8, and I liked her for all 4 years of highschool, even though we stopped talking COMPLETELY in grade nine. I knew this wasn't going to go well.
In the summer of the second year of university, though, she broke up with him. She hinted that we might start dating, so I got roped in. We would send flirty texts and all, but she ended up dating someone else for a few months. I was, naturally, devastated.
When she came back for the fall term, she told me that she wasn't happy in that relationship. We got drunk and made out. The next day she said she wouldn't leave that person for me.
A few weeks later she went back to her first boyfriend. He found out that we had made out and she wasn't allowed to talk to me or see me. This was my third year of university, and it was as dull as ever. I met no one, I started smoking, it was pretty bad.
Things were pretty normal until this January. She's still dating my old roommate, although we don't live together now. It's now my fourth year of university. She and I were talking more again, and one day she said she wanted to spend a night at my place. Naturally, being the ultra-beta that I am, figured we'd just drink and pass out. We ended up making out, and things escalated a little, although not to sex. When we sobered up, she admitted she had had feelings for me the whole time, and that she didn't regret what she did, even though she knew it was wrong. She said that she wanted to keep going. So, throughout February and March, and up to tonight, I would see her when her boyfriend wasn't there or she would sneak out to see me. It was fun at times, but every now and then I'd get depressed that she wasn't dating me. Eventually I lost my virginity to her. There were also times where I was convinced she was seeing other people. I felt like she was cheating on me, even though we weren't dating. Last night, we were together and I texted her some super mushy ****. It was so cheesy, I woke up the next morning and cringed, I couldn't reread it. **** like, "I'm going to tell my kids about you, the first girl I ever really loved" and "my feelings for you are incredible. you're beautiful, gorgeous, and amazing", and even "you were my first everything".
Today though, I went to see her. She was dressed up and looked really good. After a while though, she told me that she had to leave in half an hour to meet a guy she met while she was at work. He had apparently given her his number, and she was going to 'hang out' with him. This is at 11:30 PM. I didn't realize it then but I just felt like **** that she didn't dress up for me. She called a taxi and before she got in, I told her that I wouldn't be seeing her anymore. I thought she would fight for me, say something, but she didn't. She just hugged me and said she'd miss me. She got in the taxi and I walked home. On the way home I saw a taxi slowing down near my place. I actually thought she had told the cab to turn around. Yeah right. I'm pretty sure she's fvcking that guy. I feel horrible.
That was so long...but I can't keep reliving this. I don't want to feel this way. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get over her. I've spent 3 years of my life on this chick...this has to stop.
I don't know what to do from here.
It never works out like it does in the movies. That's all I've learned.
edit: she didn't **** that guy. I think.
In the second year of university, a friend entered the university I'm attending. I had spoken to her only through MSN at the time but we were kind of close. When we met up for the first time, we realized we were closer than we thought. We started spending a lot of time together, especially drinking. At the time, I thought she was just average looking, and there was nothing special about her. But she started hinting that she liked me. She asked me one night if I liked her, and I said yeah but just like a sister. Easily the biggest mistake of my life, emotionally. I've never had a girlfriend and up to that point, I'd never kissed a girl or had sex before. Kissless virgin.
She ended up dating my roommate. He had liked her for a while and she ended up with him. As it turned out, she lost her virginity to him, and they were close.
I started to realize that I liked her, though. A lot. And when I like someone, I have feelings for them, for YEARS. The last girl I had liked was in grade 8, and I liked her for all 4 years of highschool, even though we stopped talking COMPLETELY in grade nine. I knew this wasn't going to go well.
In the summer of the second year of university, though, she broke up with him. She hinted that we might start dating, so I got roped in. We would send flirty texts and all, but she ended up dating someone else for a few months. I was, naturally, devastated.
When she came back for the fall term, she told me that she wasn't happy in that relationship. We got drunk and made out. The next day she said she wouldn't leave that person for me.
A few weeks later she went back to her first boyfriend. He found out that we had made out and she wasn't allowed to talk to me or see me. This was my third year of university, and it was as dull as ever. I met no one, I started smoking, it was pretty bad.
Things were pretty normal until this January. She's still dating my old roommate, although we don't live together now. It's now my fourth year of university. She and I were talking more again, and one day she said she wanted to spend a night at my place. Naturally, being the ultra-beta that I am, figured we'd just drink and pass out. We ended up making out, and things escalated a little, although not to sex. When we sobered up, she admitted she had had feelings for me the whole time, and that she didn't regret what she did, even though she knew it was wrong. She said that she wanted to keep going. So, throughout February and March, and up to tonight, I would see her when her boyfriend wasn't there or she would sneak out to see me. It was fun at times, but every now and then I'd get depressed that she wasn't dating me. Eventually I lost my virginity to her. There were also times where I was convinced she was seeing other people. I felt like she was cheating on me, even though we weren't dating. Last night, we were together and I texted her some super mushy ****. It was so cheesy, I woke up the next morning and cringed, I couldn't reread it. **** like, "I'm going to tell my kids about you, the first girl I ever really loved" and "my feelings for you are incredible. you're beautiful, gorgeous, and amazing", and even "you were my first everything".
Today though, I went to see her. She was dressed up and looked really good. After a while though, she told me that she had to leave in half an hour to meet a guy she met while she was at work. He had apparently given her his number, and she was going to 'hang out' with him. This is at 11:30 PM. I didn't realize it then but I just felt like **** that she didn't dress up for me. She called a taxi and before she got in, I told her that I wouldn't be seeing her anymore. I thought she would fight for me, say something, but she didn't. She just hugged me and said she'd miss me. She got in the taxi and I walked home. On the way home I saw a taxi slowing down near my place. I actually thought she had told the cab to turn around. Yeah right. I'm pretty sure she's fvcking that guy. I feel horrible.
That was so long...but I can't keep reliving this. I don't want to feel this way. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get over her. I've spent 3 years of my life on this chick...this has to stop.
I don't know what to do from here.
It never works out like it does in the movies. That's all I've learned.
edit: she didn't **** that guy. I think.
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