Just wanted some fresh perspectives on this topic.
I've been involved with a social group for the last couple of years, and built up a high profile in the group as a volunteer. I met quite a few girls through the group, but as a result, I also had quite a lot of resentment from the other guys in the group.
However, for the last year or so, because of work commitments, it was beginning to feel more and more like a chore to be part of the group and I had considered stepping down or reducing my involvement. Because more and more guys were finding out about the group, I was also finding there was a lot more backstabbing in my direction as well.
A few weeks ago, I had a girl from the group with whom I had a one night stand a few months ago make a complaint that I had sexually assaulted her, and then when people pointed out that she had been seen being flirtatious with me, claiming she had been drunk and I had taken advantage of her. As a result, I lost my official position within the group and I decided I had enough of the whole thing and quit.
I have now learnt that the girl who had made the complaint had been very strongly encouraged to do so by another volunteer, who has now taken over the role of being the main social coordinator. It seems this was a very deliberate effort to oust me, so he could take over. This was a guy who spent months sucking up to me when he thought I could help him out socially, and as soon as the complaint was made, he writes me an email saying he will do his best to have me ostracised "because of what I did".
Now, I objectively, I realise that the guy did me a favour as the group was taking up a lot of my time, both with all the activities I was organising and because I spent so much time worrying about all the politics. I am taking on a position this year which is very important to my career, and up until this happened, I was still stressing about how to balance both the demands of this job and my commitments to this social group (which was dumb, because improvements to one's career should always take precedence over trying to pick up women). However, I find myself not being able to sleep tonight because I am pissed that this dude got one over on me, especially in such an underhanded manner. Can anyone suggest ways I can move on past this, and not allow it to continue to bother me?
I've been involved with a social group for the last couple of years, and built up a high profile in the group as a volunteer. I met quite a few girls through the group, but as a result, I also had quite a lot of resentment from the other guys in the group.
However, for the last year or so, because of work commitments, it was beginning to feel more and more like a chore to be part of the group and I had considered stepping down or reducing my involvement. Because more and more guys were finding out about the group, I was also finding there was a lot more backstabbing in my direction as well.
A few weeks ago, I had a girl from the group with whom I had a one night stand a few months ago make a complaint that I had sexually assaulted her, and then when people pointed out that she had been seen being flirtatious with me, claiming she had been drunk and I had taken advantage of her. As a result, I lost my official position within the group and I decided I had enough of the whole thing and quit.
I have now learnt that the girl who had made the complaint had been very strongly encouraged to do so by another volunteer, who has now taken over the role of being the main social coordinator. It seems this was a very deliberate effort to oust me, so he could take over. This was a guy who spent months sucking up to me when he thought I could help him out socially, and as soon as the complaint was made, he writes me an email saying he will do his best to have me ostracised "because of what I did".
Now, I objectively, I realise that the guy did me a favour as the group was taking up a lot of my time, both with all the activities I was organising and because I spent so much time worrying about all the politics. I am taking on a position this year which is very important to my career, and up until this happened, I was still stressing about how to balance both the demands of this job and my commitments to this social group (which was dumb, because improvements to one's career should always take precedence over trying to pick up women). However, I find myself not being able to sleep tonight because I am pissed that this dude got one over on me, especially in such an underhanded manner. Can anyone suggest ways I can move on past this, and not allow it to continue to bother me?
