dealing with a girl that just got dumped...

[BvrEngr2006]

8/10 girl was dumped by her boyfriend 2 weeks ago... she's been warming up to me lately and im not sure if im interested... but i was kinda curious if i handled a recent coversation with her well... I've dealt with this kind of situation before but with bad results so to me this is like a second chance... anyways here it is:

[smalltalk - Here is where she started to bring up the boyfriend...]
HER: my friend erin brought all her frineds over friday and they wouldnt leave. everyone was ethier drunk or high cept for me and i hate being around stupid drunk people when im not and i didnt want to drink
ME: didn't want to have fun with them?
HER: i wanted to have fun but i tired and i couldnt, i missed my boyfriend too much, or should i say ex
ME: go out with your close friends and have a party
ME: forget everything else
ME: im no expert on these sort of things, but u need to have fun
HER: yeah, its just hard to forget when everything else reminds me of it. ive pretty much been with him the whole time ive been at college so its really hard
HER: and i wasnt the one taht wanted to break up, it was him. im so in love with him and he knows it but then he keeps messing with me saying he dose want to get back together and then he dosent
ME: well, as i said i dont know much about these things but ur not doing yourself any good right now... youve got friends that should be helping you through this
HER: yeah i feel some better when im with them but when im by myself it gets really hard. have you ever had a really serious relationship before?
ME: 100's
HER: of serious relationships?
ME: i know what it feels like
ME: hey ive gtg shopping at winco...
ME: and then i gtg to library
HER: well what did you do to get over them. we always talked about getting married and all the stuff we were going to do so its so weird now. ok well have fun winco shoppign. i have to go to the photo lab anyhow
ME: aight, cya around campus maybe
HER: yeah i saw you the other day and yelled at you but you didnt see me
ME: where at?
HER: riding your bike down by the baseball field
ME: aight i gtg.. bye bye :-D
HER: bye

I know its important not to listen to the girl blabber about how she's unhappy... and believe me I hate being an emotional tampon... but she seems to want to talk to me quite a bit now and I'm just curious how I should proceed to form some sort of attraction, even tho I don't think I'll want to go anywhere with it.

Jer

 

[TesuqueRed]

You want to form some sort of attraction but don't want to go anywhere with it???

If you were a girl, we'd call you an attention wh0re.

But you're not.

Practice?

________
Anyway, I'd say listen for a minute, be responsive (active listening), then go do something ACTIVE and FUN and include her.

 

[BvrEngr2006]

yea i guess you could say im just practicing...

 

[Challenger]

HER: well what did you do to get over them.

Me: Well it's best to distract from the old relation. Otherwise you can depressive and whiny.
Let us go and have a coffee.

Her: Well, as I have told you I have been in a serious relationship and I don'T want to start anything new .. (blabla)

Me: I don't want to date you or anthing like this. I wanted to go out with you as a freind to have some fun and that you don't think too much about the past too much ...

Her: Oh well, perhaps you are right ...
--------------------------------------------------------------


Perhaps it's a little bit flat but I would at least try to "get a date" out of the conversation. But as it is implicied above I wouldn't call it a date in front of her ..

 

[htemorp]

I got laid in this same situation or similiar situation. She broke up with her boyfriend the same day as I broke up with my ex, so we spent a week and shiet doing stuffs together. She needed someone to b*tch about her ex, and just listen to that crap I guess, I guess I needed to b*tch about my crap, too, so it was mutual feeling. But a lot of time I think she just wants someone there, and listen to her crap. I won't want to listen to the crap for too long though, but enough to get her trust in, then build your own shiet and get laid I guess. I got laid the same week I started talking to her, and apparantly her ex was her "soulmate"