Dating two girls at once

[itishe]

In a small town, everyone knows everyone! I think my girlfriend used to be good friends with this girl I want to date, but no longer are too close. I'm "going out" (whatever the **** that means) with the blonde, but I'm sorta getting sick of her. She's put in a little weight, is annoying, and pretty stupid like most girls so I want some new ass.

This is a little off the main course but this brunette I want I once fingered at a get together (drinking), not once but two different times and I think she did like me but I came off as too macho (just discovered the site and bought into the tough guy/smart ass stuff too much). I recently shot her a text asking what's going on and if she wanted to we should go to a movie. I tried to come off as the guy in Office Space does with Jennifer Aniston, a kind of cool if you do, alright if you don't attitude. She told me she'd get back to me after she checked her work schedule, etc. It appeared she is very busy. This was a few days ago and no reply so I take it as low interest. No biggie.

Anyways, I'm curious do you as males consider dating two girls at once morally wrong? I do not but I'm sure I would be pissed if my "girlfriend" was dating another guy too. What are your guy's thoughts?

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

It would be just plain stupid doing this in a small town and could ruin your reputation. I'm moving to a tri-town area so for me this is doable in 08 (tried in 07 but failed). This is something you can forever brag about but can bring serious drama if caught! You can do this in a big city but in a small town where everyone knows everyone? too risky.

Is it morally wrong? she is not your wife, you have not sworn allegiance to her in the eyes of the Lord, she is just your gf (a disposable romantic partner). I would only do this if I really liked both girls and would not dump 1 for the other. That can be my defense if I get caught.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Anyways, I'm curious do you as males consider dating two girls at once morally wrong? I do not but I'm sure I would be pissed if my "girlfriend" was dating another guy too. What are your guy's thoughts?

It's called 'plate spinning' (search for it) and it is the only way to go.

Just two girls at once is nothing; you should have two at a minimum.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133532

 

[Rex Man]

No, nothing is inherently wrong about seeing to girls at once. What would be wrong is if you were misleading them into believing something thats not true and would ultimately hurt their feelings. But we all know you wouldn't do anything like that.....of course not.

 

[brosnake]

Anyways, I'm curious do you as males consider dating two girls at once morally wrong? I do not but I'm sure I would be pissed if my "girlfriend" was dating another guy too. What are your guy's thoughts?

No there's nothing morally wrong with it, as long as its clear between all parties that you are not exclusively dating them. (You tell them only when they ask of course). The only tricky part is the moral objection some women have about 'their man' dating another girl (or four).

The best bit of advice I can give you is this: Be honest. Sometimes your date will ask you if you're seeing anyone else. And sometimes they won't take a ****y retort for an answer. But you gotta bite the bullet and risk losing her by being straight-up.

 

[PlaysToWin]

As longs as the girls know and expect that you're dating other people then IN THEORY, this is fair game. But...

1. I highly doubt this is the case. I'm fairly sure you've at least implicitly agreed exclusivity with your current bird. In which case, there's your answer. Don't cheat.

2. Even if you do feel entitled to be dating other girls because your first girl is just casual, I'd still be wary because your reputation can get dragged through the mud by vengeful girls who feel betrayed, whether or not OUR (DJ) code of morals allows you to.

 

[AFC Savior]

hahahah

guys who preach about honesty and morality are the "nice" guys that you DONT wanna listen to!

its the NICE guy syndrome to try to wanna be so nice and proper and make sure every girl is treated like a princess.......nice guys will tell a girl "i dont want u to be my gf, i just wanna date, because I am seeing other girls"

a player who doesnt give a fvck (a REAL don juan who gets all the pvssy) will tell girls WHAT THEY WANNA HEAR, and that is how he will end up having sex with over 80 girls (cough cough real life experience talking here)

so Nice Guys, shut up with your morality advice, you are all CLUELESS as hell!!!

im suuuure a girl thinks its very moral to flake on a guy, right?

 

[PlaysToWin]

Being a DJ or PUA or whetever doesn't necessarily mean you have to be an @sshole.

It's quite possible to be charming, mysterious, objective, smooth, self-confident, unavailable, etc (basically the attributes of the "bad boy" that girls are attracted to) while still being a fairly nice guy.

Being a decent person is not mutually exclusive to being a DJ that can pull girls fairly easily. You seem to be mixing up being a "nice guy" with being a "wuss". If you don't understand the difference, then it is you who has a lot to learn, my friend.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Anyways, I'm curious do you as males consider dating two girls at once morally wrong? I do not but I'm sure I would be pissed if my "girlfriend" was dating another guy too. What are your guy's thoughts?

Ask yourself this, if during a conversation with a woman you were "dating" you admit to be dating at least one other woman. How would that go over? Now what if your were "seeing" other women?

Here's the difference, most women see "dating" as an implied commitment. With that commitment certain "benefits" are also implied, such like the benefits realized with being engaged as opposed to just dating.

The problem that guys have either with successfully spinning plates or with the "morality" question is that they tend to lead women on by implying that they are "dating." The women expect the benefits of dating and when the guy attempts to focus his attention to spin other plates the woman who believes they are "dating" gets pissed (as well she should). Also, in your case it might not feel right because you feel that there is an implied commitment and spinning plates goes against your internal moral compass.

The solution? Don't "date" multiple women; at least not in the sense where either of you believes there is a commitment. "See" as many women as you'd like without any stated or implied promises. Without the expectations of what goes along with dating you should be OK.

Remember this, women don't typically "date" several guys at one time, they "see" several. Think that they worry about the morality of it? It's the guys who expect a commitment just because they've been out on three dates, he's paid for dinner and he's made it to second base. That doesn't mean squat, you're not dating!

Guys get pissed off at this but they were the ones reading way too much into their interactions with women. Women don't do this. Until they bring up "the talk" there's no commitment and they have no worries about morality.