Netherlands
Hoi Blaaat. 'Oe is 'ie?
I think cold pickups might be a tad more difficult here in the netherlands than in the US, but can otherwise be pulled off, especially in shops, public transport, or on the bicycle. I've gotten used to talking with people around me, but haven't closed yet, and haven't met anyone i'd be much interested in or who has very much in common with me. That is, of course, aside from sex. However, it's considered to be very important to 'network' around here, so i guess most people should jump at the opportunity.
Addition: come to think of it, not a day outside passes without some shallow-seeming girl suddenly noticing me and immediately finding some distraction near myself to anchor to. They're undoubtedly fishing for attention, so i suspect they wouldn't be shy of a cold pick-up on my behalf.
Also, i have noticed dark-skinned guys (dunno the dutch politically correct word for 'african-dutchmen'. We aren't bothered very much with that.) doing cold-pickups, basically called out to women passing by about having some fun. Haven't seen any white people, or 'cheeseheads', do any of that. Haven't seen it work either, but i suspect it does once in while.
On the other hand, i've usually found my simplest proposals of tea or beer at a terrace, or icecream, quite well received. This is similar to a simple first date, except we don't call it that. We don't call it anything, unless were meeting up somewhere, then it's an 'afspraak', which means agreement or date. But people aren't as touchy feely here, so no kiss as far as i know.
I've often been asked wether i'm also going to this or that club or cafe' (or 'kroeg'). This is called 'Uitgaan', or going out. Spending alot of time with someone on such a night can often be considered date, but since this is a small country, don't expect it to a private, just the two of you kind of time, especially in popular cafe's or clubs. Movies, theaters and dinners are usually more private, but i are usually kept for later when they're intimate.
Now this may sound familiar and very easy for all the alledgedly difficult european standards, but Oscar Wilde hit it right on the head when he said chicks "prefer to talk about 30-40 minutes to know you before considering dating (he's such a. Maybe this isn't true with some people, but it sure is for me. Since i'm clad in black and a mysterious stranger to the average cloggie chick, i've found chicks want to build some rapport first before deciding on anything.
Most people here are very individualistic; they have their own opinions about stuff, and like to express their uniqueness. With this in mind, i think it helps when i can clearly express what i'm going to do, and why i should (have this drink, buy this book, etc). Their slight tendency for narcissism is much compensated by their appreciation for being caring and charitable to people and to the enviroment, as well as for practical mindedness. This is also important when getting a girl to do what you want. Tell her she should also go out on friday, because she'd like it, and because one should relax and have fun now and then, and sweat out all the useless shyte from the body.
Being honest and straightforward will allow you more freedom to be assertive and take the lead; she will follow consciously and willingly. Most cloggie chicks are very lazy, so they'll be grateful when you do lead, but they need to trust you first, and know that you're not
1. dumb and 'unauthentic'.
2. a psycho
In that order. So here, we need to show alot of value in, and one of the things that enamours the chicks here is being authentic. This basically means being all the stuff we stay a DJ should be, with one crucial added ingredient: being original. And i must say some people here have rather funny ideas about what is original. For example, a player who is original isn't called a player anymore. To many people, confidence must go hand in hand with originality, or they would see you as having small-minded and a swollen ego.
So i think being creative with your time together is much more important here than in the US. I think that learning dance moves and making dates would be considered forced and awkward admired much less than one would naturally develop their own way to dance or spend time together.
This has a very definite plus: so long as one is original and practical-minded, or down to earth, chicks willingly do just about anything. They're very liberal that way, so long as you can present your prefered course of action to be a work of art that is sure to lead to a state well-being and emotional gratification. They won't give it up when you tell them you can bring them to ecstacy, but they will when you tell them about the good it does to one's bodily and mental health to **** alot. A dutch chick could say she still wants an LTR, but an ONS would balance her a bit against that want, or reinforce it, so that would be good too. Hell, i might even agree.
For most people i know, all this boils down to putting more attention into the people you really like and less into sifting the masses for them. To them, the picking up and dating effort isn't really worth it. For the DJ's it means paradise because most people are willing to do their best for you and give a little even when they know they can't have you. The chicks are usually individualistic and perhaps confident enough to walk away pleased with what they've gained than worry about what other's might think. They usually do all their worrying before their decision. Hell, even when the regret their decision, alot have the guts to accept it and admit it.
Although all in all i'm very much satisfied with the chicks and the culture (but not the climate) around here, i'd like to experience how it is in the US without the reserved-until-identified-by-proof-of-authenticity-badge-attitude that i perceive. I'd like to know wether i'd have to follow the rules of the dating game or wether just the DJ principles and my game will suffice. Besides, i get the impression alot of chicks in the US are air-headed, as they get called stuff like bimbo, broad, etc. We've got people like that too, of course, but if only half of what i hear is true, i'll feel alot better about dutch chicks when i get back.
Needless to say, these are my own observations. I'm really curious wether others reckognize them, so i'd love to hear what you think blaaat, and any other DJ's van Oranje that might be reading. Do not allow the lion to be left standing in his shorts!
Atratus
