Dating multiple women...why do I feel guilty?

[insomniac]

OK, I've changed my ways a lot in the last year. My standard procedure used to be to pursue one women, get infatuated with her, and if it worked great, if it didn't...mend my broken heart and start it all over. But, now a lot's changed...I've improved my looks and attitude, and I've started getting a lot more attention from women (more than I ever did in my 20's). Of course, part of it may be finally being to able to recognize attention...but that's a different topic. So, instead of waiting for a scrap to fall from the table, I have options. And, seeing how oneitis is no longer the way to go...it's been fairly easy to meet a couple women a week.

And, it's extremely uncomfortable. I'm used to picking one woman out, working whatever charm I could muster, and going after a LTR. But, since I recently got out of a LTR, I don't want to jump back into one...and whoever I get involved with again is going to have to be pretty damn special. Anyway, I'm feeling guilty/bad about going out with women I probably am not interested in long term. I'm extremely attracted to some of them or they have a lot of things in common with me...so I'd like to see them again for those reasons. For me, I've just never gone after women I wasn't interested in for a LTR (this is largely because I was raised religiously and held out on sex before marriage until I was 24) Part of me doesn't want to lead them on, and part is just not used to this. Anyone been in a similar situation? How do I fix my attitude?

 

[DoubleA]

Uh..

Well, all I can say is that these are the days of our lives. No Just Kidding. Insom, what you are experiencing is a clash is probably a simple clash of your ideals. And however I will tell you that if you're searching for simpathy or an open mind concerning your plight on this board...it ain't happenin captain.

These guys on this board have decided to take on the lifestyle of DJing. Which means no regrets because as men we have an asset that most women don't have accountability. We make the bed and we lie in it. A year ago I was in your same shoes feeling the same way, but for differen t reasons. I wanted a LTR and for a moment in time I found one. Well, it didn't pan out for certain reasons but I was still hung in there. There was no doubt that I was LTR material. But then I was jus straight getting my cuts with women who literally seemed to fall out of the sky. After a while I started to feel guilty about straight pipin em & little of nothing else.

But then I thought what would happen if I died today or tomorrow. Would I be content with the way things were in my life? YES. I had taken that time while not in LTR to better my self and make an impact on my environment through inner change. I more importantly realized that I never made any woman give to me what they already planned to give me. Capice? I never forced any of em to sleep with me. They gave freely. No lines and no gimmicks. It's good you're going through these changes of morality, but I will say Pride and Morals are two things that can keep a man sleeping alone at night. I been there bro, just take a step back and look at it differently. I mean if you meet one or two you like keep them around and take your time with them. Matter of fact take ur time with each one.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Part of me doesn't want to lead them on

That you are in a moral dilemna probably means you haven't actively lead them on. One of those lies of omission. What might make you more comfortable is to actually be more clear about your intentions. To actually declare your intentions is ridiculous. I am naturally sarcastic and am trying to play with the idea of talking about not being sure about her with just enough of an ironic bent to make her unsure about how much I mean it.

I still haven't found a mixture that satisfies me.

I have tried to work out the idea that if you don't see her very often she won't assume you are interested in a LTR. I think it might work with the quick ones but with those not as attuned it would probably make it worse.

Maybe this is one of those ethical conundrums that, if sufficiently answered, would lead to ... bliss?