Dancing -- The "Rules"

[bullmoose]

Okay, so I've been hitting some dance clubs, expanding my territory. I don't "get" the new dances. Seriously. I hate to sound so square, but. . . .

In high school, my GF and I used to Jitterbug. I was always kind of a Rockabilly Boy ("Teddy Boy") in the day. My current predilections toward hot rods and jazz still speak to this.

I'm not uncoordinated. I leaned to swing dance as a kid-- Jitterbug, Balboa, Shag -- I'm not great, but I'm fair and I've got rhythm. (I don't date in the Swing scene here because it's SMALL. Real small.)

So I can move my feet, I can move my hips; I look okay out there, I guess.

My question:

What the FVCK is up with the grind, and the Freak? What are the protocols here? I see these guys just jump out into the middle of the floor, grab some girl from behind, and start humping like a dog on her leg. I feel like if I tried that, I'd get slapped.

Serious questions: How do you know when to do this? Do girls like it? Do they expect it? What if you do it and she decks you?

Scenario Two: Dancing with a girl, she turns around and starts grinding her @ss on my crotch. Are you supposed to get a h@rd-on? Should you play along and just fvck her through your clothes right there? Or is it cooler to not get turned on?

Serious questions from a really confused, "not-too-older" (29) guy.

 

[Mike24ct]

I'm 29 (almost 30) and still go to the club sometimes. I personally don't recommend starting to grind some random girl out of the blue. Some guys do this, but to me, it looks really needy and unoriginal.

I prefer to chat up the girl first, say near the bar. Then when a good song comes on, just take her hand and say, "Let's go." (Don't ask a woman to dance. Just lead. If she doesn't want to, she'll let you know.)

We start dancing (normally). Then, taking one of her hands, I like to spin her around every now and then. (Women LOVE to be spun.)

If she wants to grind, she will turn her ass towards you, and then of course put your hands on her waist, and proceed to dry hump her. Yes, you are allowed and even EXPECTED to get a boner lol. Don't be embarrassed about it. It's a given and women know that. (I think they are secretly sizing up how big the guy is by the feel of his crotch lol.)

Another funny way to initiate a grind while dancing with a girl is to turn around so your ass is facing her, bend over slightly, and continue dancing. She'll turn around and you'll do an ass to ass reverse grind. If she has a sense of humor, she'll enjoy that, plus other women around may find it entertaining and start giggling.

Most grinding is obviously done with the girls butt against the guy's crotch. It's really important NOT to stay in that position the whole time. Spin her around occassionaly and get her facing you. You can then pull her into you and start grinding in a face to face position which is MUCH better. If her face stays really close to yours, kiss her briefly. Worst case scenario, she turns her head and you peck her cheek. Best case scenario, you get a hot makeout going. IME, without a makeout, things aren't really gonna go anywhere physically. (If she keeps her face far away from yours, she DOESN'T want to kiss you or at least not yet.)

With respect to kino, most grinding is done with your hands on the girls waist. As you get into it, you can let your hands wander up and down and eventually cop some good feels lol. I would gradually just brush my hands across her breasts or ass, rather than get too grabby right away like some AFC.

One caveat though....if she ONLY lets you grind her ass and she won't really turn around to face you, she's probably not into you. A lot of women let a guy grind into their butt, but they won't face the guy and continue to scope the room for other dudes. (Use her for a bit of social proof, then move on.) A woman that is really into you WILL let you turn her so you are face to face and she will be receptive to some kino and a possible makeout later, as long as you don't act needy.

I haven't had any ONS, but I've gotten two women so hot that they offered up their numbers and begged to come over their appartments. (They would have actually done ONS, but they had roommates home at the time.) I followed up on both a few days later .


Mike

 

[bullmoose]

Thank you.

Seriously.

 

[gotmygameback]

are you comfortable in being an 'older guy'

if you are i suggest bringing the dancing thing up as a topic of conversation.

Chances are she will want to see your 'old skool' (NEVER old fashioned) moves, get her to trade you some 'tuition' in grinding etc.

Girls dig dancing and I am sure you will find loads that appreciate the fact you actually know how to move your feet, rather than just dry humping like the kids do.

 

[bullmoose]

Even in my generation I was "old-school."

That said, there's a time and a place. I like the 80's mix nites b/c they usually play that stupid fvcking WHAM song about the Jitterbug, and occasionally Stray Cats, Adam Ant, J Geils -- stuff that I can really move to, spin her, etc.

The last time I met a girl at a club who could Jitterbug, she cut in on me with another girl, fell into close position, and we ripped it up. Taking her home was practically automatic.

 

[Thomas94305]

Dude,

Old school moves can be used to your advantage. Women are into dancing and LOVE learning all kinds of moves. I do salsa, and I get BIG points when I go to someone who never did salsa, and take her through a lot of moves. She's TOTALLY fascinated by the experience of not knowing what's going on, but having a guy in control that does.

With a little time, you'll learn the new school stuff. Once you do, if you have a chance to pull an old school move, do it! Frame control is important, tho. Don't ask for permission to do an old school move, and don't apologize. If it feels natural, just pull the move without a care for what she thinks. I wouldn't even ask her if she liked it. Let her be the one to point it out. Experiment with that and have a good time!

 

[Bonhomme]

Don't sweat it. Do what comes natural to you, and have a good time.

It can even work to your advantage that you're not trying to fuggin' grind every gal whose ass comes within striking distance.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

It's all about the hips when you're dancing. If you hips are insync then you'll be a good dancer. Observe what other good dancers are doing and copy it.